Family therapy services in 94903: San Rafael, CA. Relationship and couples counseling.

I subscribe to the Gottman method which teaches effective listening, softening tools and mutual respect and value for each family member. Family therapy is one of my favorite areas and I love to see couples and families relearn how to experience the love they share for one another and give every family member a voice so they can gain self esteem that they can bring out in to the world

I offer a more loving, soulful approach to Family Therapy. I will teach you how to replace stonewalling and fighting patterns with time outs, mindfulness practices, nurturing talks, and scheduled boding activites. You will learn mindfulness techniques such as how to not step into your family member's negative energy when they stoke your anger. And by the way, I have been having great results with family therapy on Zoom!

I specialize in online parent coaching with the goal of helping you and your family have a closer more intimate relationship. After 11 years of working with children and families, I have concluded that this is the most effective way I can support families because you parents are the leaders of your home. If I can empower you through my knowledge and experience to implement some strategies at home, you can achieve your goals for your family. The support I provide will be sufficient for many families, but there are some situations that could benefit from the in-vivo coaching and direction that in person family therapy provides. Call me for a free 15 minute consultation about your needs

I provide services that help families who are in distress and crisis, regain a sense of balance and sanity. I have more than 10 years experience working with families and teens who are struggling with substance abuse, anxiety, depression, anger, and trauma. I have worked with families involved in the special education and juvenile justice systems my entire career. The benefit of having a therapist who is familiar with these systems is that I am more aware of how they function, allowing me to collaborate and intervene more effectively on behalf of your child and your family. I am happy to provide a free initial phone consultation. Give me a call today!

ARE YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS IN CONFLICTS OR CRISIS? Counseling helps! I take a unique and effective approach to family therapy- addressing the needs and clarifying the roles of every individual in the system so that everyone knows where they are, where the family is and take the steps they need to a healthier and happier family. Call for a free telephone consult.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Families are hard. They can be full of love, but they are also full of frustration, disappointment, bitterness, and resentment. The love in a family can often hold people through these challenging emotions, but what happens when communication breaks down? Therapy helps to slow things down and translate some of the more overwhelming or unclear communications so that your family can move forward together.

I spent two years running the adolescent unit of a psychiatric hospital, where I had to do a great many family therapy sessions, which has made me very experienced in family dynamics. I am a big believer in the family systems approach, where the family is seen as a relational unit and focus is put on how the energetics are playing out in the family dynamic.

Most families who come in to see me consist of adult children and their parents. Usually if a family with young children want to see me with their kids, the issues are more about how to parent more effectively. In those cases, I work with the parents to improve the family situation. Let me know if you would like to talk further about your family situation.

The most frequent family issues I see are problems with parenting (agreeing on limits/ consequences, either parent feeling supported by the other), difficulty with issues of adolescence (self-injury, eating disorder, suicidality, substance abuse, abusive relationships, bullying), and arguing/ yelling at one another. Any of these issues are difficult to handle; often times they occur as a bundle of issues. This can feel overwhelming to both parent and child. The whole system suffers and feelings of fear, hopelessness, guilt, anger, and resentment are free-floating with no useful direction. We will find strategies that work for your family so that you enjoy one another again.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently dysregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dystunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

I particularly enjoy working with pairs within a family system—a mother and daughter for instance or siblings. Family members who are longing to be closer to each other and having trouble doing it, or wanting to better communicate. This isn't about trying to fix another person or convince them of our views. In therapy, getting to deeper levels of empathy and understanding with the people closest to us can solve a lot of issues on its own, building respect and tolerance for differences, and a gratifying sense of connection. It takes courage, effort, and the willingness to lay down our swords and shields, but it is worth it.

Family therapy looks at the entire family system—parents, children, extended family members—to identify strengths and problematic behaviours. I collaborate with families on strategies for utilizing their own capabilities for resolving problems, and on developing effective communication and problem-solving skills for preventing conflicts. I specialize in working with families of teenagers, which is an age that can be challenging for both the teenagers and their parents.

I work within a family framework, but I do not treat families as part of traditional "family therapy." This means that if you are a parent and you struggle with your child's behavior, I can help you learn techniques to manage the behavior better. I have extensive experience working with parents of children with autism and other mental health disorders that can make parenting extremely challenging. There is no shame in asking for support. I can help with creating a parenting plan, I can help with co-parenting after divorce, and I can help parents who care for their own aging relatives. We truly live in the "sandwich generation" where family can grow far.

I found that the skills that my Couples learn from me: how to speak and listen in a way that allows real intimacy to digest on the gut level is extremely useful in working with families. Many times family members love each other but that love does not digest. Often there is a child or teenager that is acting out and when the parents learn how to connect with their child on a deeper level, the need for the acting out behaviors goes away. Parents sometimes need help being on the same team to BOTH provide the necessary structure (rules) AND do it in a way so the child (or teen) digests the love. Your children appreciate the rules from a loving team (even if they pretend they hate them)!

Conflicts in a family can become so routine that it may be difficult for you to determine which issues are important and which have become automatic battles. I can provide your family a safe place to work through this with an objective and neutral perspective that allows everyone to hear and everyone to be heard. Frequent arguing, nagging, complaining - all intensify the stress of daily life. Your family can learn to live harmoniously - not perfectly without ever having conflict - but without the need for "winners" and "losers" in constant tug of wars. It is exhausting and unhealthy to live with tension in your home. Call me today and let's begin easing that tension and regaining calm.

Our family lives can be tremendously gratifying and enriching and a source of invaluable support and belonging. They can also become tense and chaotic at times, especially when under the influences of acute or chronic stress. Such responses are understandable, but you may need the support and guidance of a skilled therapist from time to time, especially if you are experiencing persistent conflicts that you cannot resolve or mediate on your own. Psychotherapy can help you relate to your family with more ease or resolve even long-standing problems. If you wish to explore how I could help with your particular situation, please call me at 415-533-9724. I would be happy to talk with you.

Parent-Child therapy focuses on bringing awareness, attunement, and empathy into the family system. As a mother I know it can seem as if problems at home are because of one individual, but this is never the case. We are all part of a greater system. The goal of family systems therapy is to create a peaceful and harmonious space where everyone in the system can feel heard and understood. In addition to working towards creating more space for loving each other and less time for unproductive conflict, I also provide psychoeducation and practical parenting tools for lasting and dynamic change.

I enjoy helping families find creative solutions to nagging conflicts or concerns. It is exciting to see families discover a "We" and the helpful, often surprising things they learn, even from their youngest members as I help them listen to each other more carefully. I also help families create the safety to share things they have found difficult, including their desire to help that is sometimes hidden behind behavior that doesn't feel very loving. I work with families of many shapes and sizes, and I am willing to begin with as many or as few family members as are willing to come for help to create a more healthy and rewarding life together.

I use a family systems approach in my therapy, so having family members in the room, in my opinion, is the most efficient route towards healing and growth in individuals. I encourage clients to address relationships that are causing distress in their lives and work towards healthy differentiation of self. This can be done in individual therapy as well, but is more effective when all members of the relationship are present.

How about your own Personal Family Therapist? The way it works is that a family hires me for a flat monthly fee. I work with family members on an as-needed basis, sometimes with one partner or the other, sometimes with the children, sometimes with everyone together. If one of the children wants to meet via Chat, I can make myself available for that . For a family to have a skilled healing professional on staff, someone who thinks well about the entire family, who knows and cares about every member of the family, is of tremendous value. Testimonial: "Every family going through divorce should have their own personal family therapist. Thank You Ilene, for all you have done for our family."

We so much want our homes and our families to be our safe haven and secure base, the place where we feel appreciated and loved. When this is an unhappy place with disharmony, anger, acting out , then our basis for well-being erodes. I am a relationship specialist. I have many years of experience helping family members express themselves effectively, hear one another clearly and experience new ways of being with each other that help everyone feel seen and cared for. When relationships are repaired and emotional connections re-established, children want to follow guidelines and respect limits. I work with pre-teens, adolescents, young adults and their parents. I bring families back together.

By the time a parent is considering counseling for their child, they may have experienced a variety of emotions ranging from: sadness, fear, shame or anger. It can be very helpful to have a neutral professional to help teach the young person and their families how to learn different ways to think, behave, and communicate. Psychotherapy can help children, adolescents, and their families in a variety of ways – getting emotional support, resolving conflicts between family members, and trying out new solutions to old problems. 


Feeling more loved, heard, appreciated and supported often happens in families that I work with. Family members may be either or both parents, grandparents, and children of any age, including grown children. Clients often benefit immensely from learning communication skills like how to let others know what they are feeling, thinking and needing in a way that others can hear them. They learn how to resolve disagreements without arguments. They lean how to connect with one another in loving and appreciative ways.