Family therapy services in 94574: Saint Helena, CA. Relationship and couples counseling.

We so much want our homes and our families to be our safe haven and secure base, the place where we feel appreciated and loved. When this is an unhappy place with disharmony, anger, acting out , then our basis for well-being erodes. I am a relationship specialist. I have many years of experience helping family members express themselves effectively, hear one another clearly and experience new ways of being with each other that help everyone feel seen and cared for. When relationships are repaired and emotional connections re-established, children want to follow guidelines and respect limits. I work with pre-teens, adolescents, young adults and their parents. I bring families back together.

I offer a more loving, soulful approach to Family Therapy. I will teach you how to replace stonewalling and fighting patterns with time outs, mindfulness practices, nurturing talks, and scheduled boding activites. You will learn mindfulness techniques such as how to not step into your family member's negative energy when they stoke your anger. And by the way, I have been having great results with family therapy on Zoom!

Family relationships can be stressful and challenging. There may be anger, arguments, grief & loss, mental or physical illness, unresolved trauma, abuse, neglect, betrayal, financial or occupational challenges that create distress in the family system. Healthy family members have open, honest and compassionate communication. They hear, know and understand each other. They take responsibility and are accountable for their impact on each other. They show love and care through affection, attention, appreciation, being of service, spending quality time with and being there for each other. I guide you in developing the skills, qualities and habits needed to get your family to a better place!

I enjoy helping families find creative solutions to nagging conflicts or concerns. It is exciting to see families discover a "We" and the helpful, often surprising things they learn, even from their youngest members as I help them listen to each other more carefully. I also help families create the safety to share things they have found difficult, including their desire to help that is sometimes hidden behind behavior that doesn't feel very loving. I work with families of many shapes and sizes, and I am willing to begin with as many or as few family members as are willing to come for help to create a more healthy and rewarding life together.

I use a family systems approach in my therapy, so having family members in the room, in my opinion, is the most efficient route towards healing and growth in individuals. I encourage clients to address relationships that are causing distress in their lives and work towards healthy differentiation of self. This can be done in individual therapy as well, but is more effective when all members of the relationship are present.

Most families who come in to see me consist of adult children and their parents. Usually if a family with young children want to see me with their kids, the issues are more about how to parent more effectively. In those cases, I work with the parents to improve the family situation. Let me know if you would like to talk further about your family situation.

How about your own Personal Family Therapist? The way it works is that a family hires me for a flat monthly fee. I work with family members on an as-needed basis, sometimes with one partner or the other, sometimes with the children, sometimes with everyone together. If one of the children wants to meet via Chat, I can make myself available for that . For a family to have a skilled healing professional on staff, someone who thinks well about the entire family, who knows and cares about every member of the family, is of tremendous value. Testimonial: "Every family going through divorce should have their own personal family therapist. Thank You Ilene, for all you have done for our family."

Feeling more loved, heard, appreciated and supported often happens in families that I work with. Family members may be either or both parents, grandparents, and children of any age, including grown children. Clients often benefit immensely from learning communication skills like how to let others know what they are feeling, thinking and needing in a way that others can hear them. They learn how to resolve disagreements without arguments. They lean how to connect with one another in loving and appreciative ways.

I subscribe to the Gottman method which teaches effective listening, softening tools and mutual respect and value for each family member. Family therapy is one of my favorite areas and I love to see couples and families relearn how to experience the love they share for one another and give every family member a voice so they can gain self esteem that they can bring out in to the world

Conflicts in a family can become so routine that it may be difficult for you to determine which issues are important and which have become automatic battles. I can provide your family a safe place to work through this with an objective and neutral perspective that allows everyone to hear and everyone to be heard. Frequent arguing, nagging, complaining - all intensify the stress of daily life. Your family can learn to live harmoniously - not perfectly without ever having conflict - but without the need for "winners" and "losers" in constant tug of wars. It is exhausting and unhealthy to live with tension in your home. Call me today and let's begin easing that tension and regaining calm.