Ellis Nicolson, M.Div; R.P.; RMFT-Mississauga

Relationship Specialists-Registered Psychotherapist; Registered Marriage and Family Therapist
4291 Village Centre Court, Suite 201, Mississauga, Ontario, L4Z 1S2
Phone: 289-847-1127
Send A Message To Ellis.
Session Fees: $100-$225. See my intern at a reduced rate-$100/session.
www.ellisnicolson.com
This member is also available for online counseling.
Online-counseling methods: Phone, Webcam

Free 15 minute consultation

To help in these difficult times, we are offering a reduced rate for video or in-person counselling with one of my interns for $100/session.

Couples Therapy: What makes us different from the rest?

If you had a heart problem would you want to see a general practitioner or a specialist? Of course you’d want to see a Cardiologist! So, why would you settle for anything less than specialized help for the most important part of your life—your relationship! We have specialized training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the most empirically validated and researched modality to help couples bond. Research studies find that 70-75% of couples move from conflict and tension to love and connection, and approximately 90% show significant improvements overall in their relationships. And results last!

What is Couples Therapy and Counselling?

Couples therapy and counselling provides a safe place to help you break unhelpful negative patterns of communication. We help our couples identify the patterns in their relationships that have caused disconnection, for example, too much conflict, loss of connection, loss of fun, loss of intimacy, loss of friendship, etc. We help you identify these patterns and break them.

When and why should you seek Couples Counselling?

Some couples seek therapy as a preventative measure, for example, in the same way you would get an annual physical, some couples want to ensure they maintain a healthy level of connection, so they have a “check-in” or “check-up” sessions.

Other couples seek therapy because they notice they are arguing too often, they feel disconnected, or maybe there has been an injury in the relationship, for example, an emotional or a physical affair. Some seek therapy to determine if they want to stay in their relationship, and others even seek therapy to help them end their relationship in as healthy a way as possible.

We encourage you to seek couple therapy at the first signs of repeated disconnection. It is important to not let negative patterns repeat over and over, but if this has occurred, do not lose hope, as even embedded patterns can be broken.

How do we work? What is EFT?

EFT was co-founded by Canadian Psychologist, Dr. Sue Johnson, in the 1980s. EFT finds its roots in attachment theory, which proves our biological need for connection and bonding to another person. EFT helps couples have a new conversation—bonding conversations. EFT provides us with a map to help couples step out of the unhealthy patterns in their relationship that cause disconnection and distress, and into a pattern of reaching for your partner, and your partner reaching back. We will help you learn how to be vulnerable with one another, access your core emotions, and express your core needs. Once you have a new pattern in your relationship, you will be able to work through future stressors and struggles.

How long does EFT take?

In order for change to occur, both people need to be engaged in the process. Typically, couples experience a new connection between 10-20 sessions. Some couples require less time, while couples who have experienced complex trauma may require more sessions. Sessions are usually bi-weekly but weekly sessions are also available.

Which relationship Issues can you help us with?

-Communication: We will help you change the communication dance in your relationship. We will help you communicate your core emotions so that you feel heard and understood. We will help you learn how to take emotional risks and be vulnerable for the purpose of connection.

-Disconnection: We help our clients identify their moves in the relationship dance, so they can change their steps to promote connection rather disconnection.

-Intimacy: Intimacy is often the first type of connection to go when couples fall into negative patterns of interaction. We will help you change the dance and re-integrate intimacy in a safe way into your relationship once again.

-Friendship: Negative interactions often affect how you view the other, which then affects the friendship piece of your relationship. When your negative dance changes, you will start to see your spouse differently; we will help you restore the friendship.

-Affair Recovery: Affairs injure relationships, and cause harm; they dismantle the foundation of trust and security. We will help you work through the painful emotions of the affair and rebuild the relationship. We believe that relationships can heal from an affair, in fact, in our experience, when both people are engaged in the healing process, couples can often have a much better relationship after the hurt of an affair has been healed.

-Parenting: Often described as the hardest job on earth, we all need help from time to time in raising our children. We are attachment-based therapists, which means that we will help you understand your child’s behaviour through an attachment lens which will enable you to parent effectively.

-Life transitions: Transitions come in many forms, for example, children growing up and leaving the home, separation or divorce, loss of a loved one, or a career. Transitions are fraught with emotions and often uncertainty. We will help you re-purpose your life and find inner peace.

What can I expect from a Couple session and EFT?

We always like to see the couple for the first session, and then we like to see you individually for one session each. The purpose of the individual session is to better understand you as an individual, the patterns you were modelled growing up, your own relationship patterns, etc. We do not keep secrets in this process, so whatever is shared in the individual session cannot be kept from your spouse. We conduct our sessions in a way to ensure that each person feels heard and valued, we do not view a person as “the problem”, instead we view the pattern as a problem, so that is what we focus on. You can expect to have a caring and compassionate therapist, and you should also expect to be asked to talk to your spouse while in session. Each person will be challenged to look at themselves honestly, and to identify their part in the relationship dance. Our goal to help you become pattern breakers!

Where are you located?
Mississauga: 4291 Village Centre Court, Suite 201
Toronto: 120 Carlton Street, Suite 315

Happiness is a moment, joy is a process!

Ellis Nicolson Reaches

Mississauga ON

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