Tami Chelew, MA, CSAT

  "We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love," Hold Me Tight, Tim Robbins

Emotionally Focused therapy is the most evidence-based and proven therapy model in helping distressed relationships become more safe and secure. Often couples, parent/teen, parent/child relationships can get stuck in negative reactive patterns of anger/blame/defensiveness/withdrawal. Often what is under the reactivity is hurt, sadness and fear. In therapy, when clients can begin to become less hostile in their reactivity and share their hurts, sadness or fears with one another; vulnerability grows. Understanding and empathy for each other begins to happen which allows for relational healing and emotional safety and security to deepen. This is the benefits of EFT and my goal for you.

I strongly believe that secure attachment bonds formed early in life is essential for a healthy sense of self and well-being along with the ability to maintain healthy relationships with others. However, I realize that for many of us, this may not have been a reality. Often we can feel stressed, depressed and anxious. Sometimes when our needs are not met through healthy, secure love, we can turn away to other things such as drugs, alcohol, sex, work, food, etc. to manage painful emotions of feeling inadequate, unworthy, rejected or abandoned. For those who may not have received healthy love and nurturance, there is still hope. Healthy love and secure connection can and often does happen later in life.

I work with many couples who desire to repair their relationship from painful betrayals such as infidelity and/or sexual compulsivity. We work hard on rebuilding trust to create a more solid and secure foundation and experience relational restoration together. My clients are motivated to work hard to courageously look at themselves and their relationships and commit to positive change and relational transformation. There is hope after the pain of longstanding relational distance and disconnection. There is hope after betrayals of the heart. There is beauty from ashes.

I invite you to reach out to me if you are seeking therapeutic support or would like to know more about the services I provide. I also offer Hold Me Tight Couples Weekend Intensives throughout the year. The next one is Jan 17-19. Please visit http://trieft.org/couples-workshop/sandiego for upcoming details. I look forward to connecting with you! Wishing you loving, lasting connections with those who matter most to you!