Rejection
Introduction
Being on the other end of a social snub can cause us to question ourselves and bring up a lot of emotions that we've yet to experience. After a rejection it's common to experience some anger and anxiety or depression because it can reduce our confidence. Even when we experience rejection in small forms it can still sting at our self esteem. This has the power to inflict damage toward our psychological health and completely change the way that we process emotions or behave toward others. When the brain experiences rejection we can even go through physical pain because our brain responds similarly to bodily hurt and social rejection. All of us will assume the reason behind these rejections differently and for some it can be an extremely heart-breaking experience that makes it difficult to become whole again. Counseling is effective in helping those who have been on the receiving end of the interaction by allowing you to express how it has made you feel, clarify what it actually means and use strategies that will help you maintain your sense of wellbeing.
How Rejection Can Harm Us
Rejection can be harmful toward us because it can completely change the way that we feel about how we look, act and behave. It can make us question our interests and wants in life. If what we do or want to do doesn't comply with the likes of other people, it can make us feel as if something is wrong with who we are. The truth is that everyone experiences rejection in different forms and how we respond to those rejections ultimately determines how it affects us in the future. When we can clarify why the behavior is occurring on a biological level, we will then come to accept that there isn't anything wrong with us. There are some who can react to these rejections in a harmful way. It can make the change who they are so that they no longer feel the pain that is associated with that interaction. Out of avoidance, we might stop expressing our thoughts and emotions. If we process this the wrong way it can make us distrust others, create insecurities and keep us from forming relationships at all because we assume that we are not good enough for another person. Counseling will help us clarify the truth behind these interactions and show us how we can use strategies that are more accurate. These strategies will prevent us from assuming that the interaction points to something being wrong with who we are.
Rejection and External Relationships
Rejection makes us feel unwanted and the more intimate of a relationship we have with the person doing the damage, the more challenging it can be to overcome. Rejection can occur in different spheres from friends, loved ones and family members; regardless, it can convey the same message that tells us something is wrong with us, that we're dislike or that we do not belong. It can make us feel like we did something wrong and have a lasting effect depending on our ability to understand this behavior. The way that we choose to interpret the interaction can change the way that we hold relationships with people altogether. How we choose to integrate these messages into ourselves can also create a new identity that is different from the one that we may have had before the hurt feelings. For anyone who is dealing with this rejection it has a lot to do with how it was done and what words were said. When each of us possesses a deeper understanding of what this means and detach ourselves from the experience instead of assuming that the rejection is reality, we will then be able to overcome the memories and continue developing in a way that is more beneficial toward our confidence and security.
How Therapy Can Help
When a rejection happens it makes us feel as if we earned it because of a flaw in our personality or physical attribute. Therapy helps us by showing us the mechanisms and helping us realize that it isn't warranted or earned. When it affects our self esteem it is a choice and we have the choice as to whether or not the messages are going to be integrated into our psyche. A lot of us struggle with insecurities as a result of abuse, divorce, failure and betrayals. When we can face these fears and express them to a counselor we can learn how to overcome the isolation that also comes with rejection. Instead of dealing with this by ourselves it's important that we clarify the impact with someone else so that some truth is uncovered. Therapy can help us shift our focus and come to realize that rejection is like any other experience that we have based on our perception.
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