Great Couples Counseling in Bangor Base, WA. Therapy to heal relationships.

I deeply appreciate working with couples. Discovering the gifts and teachings you have for each other, supporting the deep love that is so often part of the pain between you, deepening the continuing journey of more authentic awareness of each other, and even working to let go of a relationship that no longer serves you is often magical. We explore the patterns that support and undermine your relationship, the constructs of belief, habit, and expectation that these hold in place, the ways to shift your part in them, and what is core to those fights about "stupid things". Working with how you communicate and moving you away from blame and shame builds a foundation for relational healing.

The goal in Couples Counseling is to reroute the patterns that cause distancing and wall-building between couples. This creates a space that fosters tighter bonding and a team orientation. Couples Counseling teaches individuals how to disarm communication that leads to conflict, increasing the couple's sense of intimacy, and restoring the respect and affection often lost in the process of learning to live together. Couples learn to remove the barriers that lead to stagnancy in relationship. The hard truth is that couples fight. Feelings get hurt. People often feel betrayed. Relationships can be turned around as couples learn to fight effectively, with the intent to resolve, not to "win!"

When I work with couples, I am very intentional about first listening to both individuals and then seeking to slow down the process of how you communicate with one another. By doing this, we are practicing and preparing you both for those real, in-the-moment conversations that seem to keep you stuck in the same place. By growing in your ability to listen to each other, you will begin to understand what it is that your significant other needs and you will begin to feel more heard and understood. When you do this, more often than not, you are able to break those old habits of communicating and relating to each other. Call me to find out more about this process.

Your relationship with your partner is one of the biggest determinants of your overall happiness and wellbeing. I provide integrated Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (attachment style focused) and Gottman Method couples therapy. I am trained and have over a decade of clinical experience in providing couple's therapy. You and your partner will be supported in identifying the patterns in your conflicts, getting confident in creating solutions to old unresolved issues or injuries, and making sustained connection a part of your relationship. Living resentment-free and moving past old hurts is possible. I also provide pre-marital sessions for couples preparing to get married.

Living as a Christian couple can be difficult waters to navigate. There is a desire to honor God while there is also a longing to get to know your partner more intimately. My approach to couples counseling addresses the issues that need to be explored so you can determine if your partner is one that you will likely be satisfied with years down the road while at the same time, exploring the issues that you need to address to be the best partner possible. With a fresh approach that is deeply rooted in Christianity but disentangled from unnecessary traditionalism, you will be pleased with the results of becoming more aware of your relationship.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php