Great Couples Counseling in Herndon, VA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Communication. Trust. Connection. All three are important to any committed relationship, but they require teamwork to develop and maintain. I think of your relationship as a team of two. Sometimes one of you can pursue individual goals that cause your relationship to improve - like a star quarterback on the football field. But to experience the greatest change in your relationship, I’ll encourage each of you to explore and pursue individual objectives that promote the success of your team of two. Working as a team, you can discover ways to improve communication, build trust, and reconnect. This is how I help couples, and if the approach appeals to you, please contact me

Your relationship with your partner is the most important relationship in your life. Relationship issues touch every area of our lives. Learning healthy relationship skills is a fundamental building block of a successful life. Through therapy, you will learn how to achieve intimacy, manage conflict, how to give and receive love, and to create the relationship you have always wanted.

Working with couples is a dynamic process that requires the therapist to maintain a safe space where both people can feel heard and understood. I am a certified Imago therapist and use a dialogical process to increase the emotional intimacy between the two people. I have worked with straight, bi, gay and lesbian and transgendered couples, and many different ethnic groups---and find that the challenges are essentially the same---to create a bond of trust that allows for all parts of the two people to show up and be accepted in the relationship. I share helpful handouts that people can use when they are home, to be able to deal with conflict more skillfully.

Relationships are hard! They can bring out the best in us...and also the worst. What's more, its easy to feel confused and unable to see what is happening clearly when things in your relationship are troubled. Relationships can be up & down, and often it is that one familiar pattern or issue that triggers everything. As you and your partner are so 'in it', it is pretty difficult to find your own way out of the same old behavior. I work with couples, providing an unbiased and neutral perspective, helping you gain greater understanding into what is happening and how you want things to change. Yes, relationships are hard, but also contain infinite potential for healing & renewal.

There are two most basic fears of intimacy that we all have: one is fear of abandonment, the other is fear of being taken over, of losing my autonomy. In a relationship, people often become polarized with one clinging and the other seeming distant. With awareness of our fears and how to take care of ourselves and each other, we will bring out the best in each other. Everyone knows how to speak and listen, right? Not so. The most difficult skills to learn are to speak self-responsibly about your own experience and to truly listen and understand the other person's experience even when you don't like it. To learn these skills enables love. I can help.

We specialize in helping couples, using Emotionally Focused Therapy. This is a complex approach which helps couples (of all sorts) to understand the deep need for safety and connection we all have, innately. When we feel repeatedly disappointed in the connection, or a serious breach such as an affair occurs, people react with protective anger, protesting the loss. Unfortunately, that angry protest often drives the more reticent partner farther away, leaving the first one even more desperate. We help people see that the unhappy cycle they are caught in is responsible for their suffering. And then we help them to find and share their more vulnerable feelings, creating a positive and affirming cycle....

Working with couples is my area of expertise and passion. I have seen relationships transform through the power of mutual understanding and increased sensitivity. Often couples become so entrenched in certain communication patterns that they can't even really see when and if their partner is trying to do something different. This is one way working with a good couples therapist can be so powerful - they can act as "translator" for partners, and dig through the years of pain and pattern to what's really in each other's minds and hearts. If both partners are willing, it's amazing what can happen; and even if only one person is willing, change is possible. I hold the hope until they can.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) with years of training and experience helping couples to navigate the most painful and difficult chapter in their relationships. I will guide you with compassion, empathy, and a skill set that is born in working with couples across the country in their healing journeys. I have been featured in Forbes, the Knot, and other leading media outlets discussing relationships, intimacy, and communication. I’d love to connect with you and your partner about the unique circumstances that you are facing and how I might be able to help.

Sometimes a couple reaches a place where they need to work on resolving different conflict in their relationship. There may be communication issues and the ability to make thoughtful decisions about the relationship is lost. I use the Gottman approach to help you identify where the major issues are and interventions to help improve communication. I will be your neutral mediator, I do not take sides. My focus will be on the relationship and both of you will get time to give your story. The couple will have an opportunity to talk through the issues and at times figure out what the issues are.