Great Couples Counseling in Annandale, VA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Relationships are hard! They can bring out the best in us...and also the worst. What's more, its easy to feel confused and unable to see what is happening clearly when things in your relationship are troubled. Relationships can be up & down, and often it is that one familiar pattern or issue that triggers everything. As you and your partner are so 'in it', it is pretty difficult to find your own way out of the same old behavior. I work with couples, providing an unbiased and neutral perspective, helping you gain greater understanding into what is happening and how you want things to change. Yes, relationships are hard, but also contain infinite potential for healing & renewal.

My "Treasure Therapy" helps couples to become aware of themselves and their partner and to appreciate our inherent worth. I use different lenses to analyze how our social identity and sense of worth is shaped by society. This is important for helping couples have a sense of mutuality. John Gottman, an expert in couples therapy, talks about how power differentials can actually impede trust in his book, The Science of Trust. My own PhD research looked at 91 couples and found 12 common factors that influenced the balance of power in heterosexual romantic relationships, summed up with the word "TREASURES" because it summarizes how we approach people as precious treasures.

There are two most basic fears of intimacy that we all have: one is fear of abandonment, the other is fear of being taken over, of losing my autonomy. In a relationship, people often become polarized with one clinging and the other seeming distant. With awareness of our fears and how to take care of ourselves and each other, we will bring out the best in each other. Everyone knows how to speak and listen, right? Not so. The most difficult skills to learn are to speak self-responsibly about your own experience and to truly listen and understand the other person's experience even when you don't like it. To learn these skills enables love. I can help.

Couples usually go to therapy when they are feeling distressed. Maybe they are also feeling isolated from each other, distrustful, or like they just can't communicate with each other. I like to start by getting to know what is is like for each of you to be in your relationship and how each of you understands how your relationship ended up in this distressed place. When I work with couples, I use a model called Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT). EFT provides me with a map, a way to help couples out of their stuck places. I have earned my Certification as an Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist and Supervisor.

Learning that one's spouse or partner has been living a "secret" sexual life can very quickly lead to the dissolution of a marriage or relationship. I work with couples to help heal the damage that one spouse has done to the marriage and family. Couples therapy can also be helpful in helping couples heal from the damage caused by a spouse's anger issues.

One of the most prevaling issues with one or both is to not feel "heard". Much emphasis has to be on the word "feelings". If one or the other has been abused in some way, they are very sensitive to "feelings". The word "being" is a key for stabilization of the relationship. I have done much research on the "Keys to Life" and one of the necessities is to trust. Listening and trusting are probably the glue that holds any relationship together and is foundational. A couple learning their primary function is not about themselves, but the common good of the family unit. After all, what will be your legacy? What will you be known for?

Your relationship with your partner is the most important relationship in your life. Relationship issues touch every area of our lives. Learning healthy relationship skills is a fundamental building block of a successful life. Through therapy, you will learn how to achieve intimacy, manage conflict, how to give and receive love, and to create the relationship you have always wanted.

I offer couples therapy for partners who are looking make positive changes in their relationships, whether they are dating, engaged, married, or committed. I blend strategies and interventions from several couple therapy models to fit our conversations to your unique goals. By learning new skills, healing emotional injuries, experiencing each other's vulnerabilities in a safe way, and gaining insights about how each other's past influences their current behaviors, we work together to build a compassionate and joyful relationship.

Working with couples is a dynamic process that requires the therapist to maintain a safe space where both people can feel heard and understood. I am a certified Imago therapist and use a dialogical process to increase the emotional intimacy between the two people. I have worked with straight, bi, gay and lesbian and transgendered couples, and many different ethnic groups---and find that the challenges are essentially the same---to create a bond of trust that allows for all parts of the two people to show up and be accepted in the relationship. I share helpful handouts that people can use when they are home, to be able to deal with conflict more skillfully.

A large part of my work as a therapist is with couples: married, unmarried and pre-marriage. My approach focuses on communication, conflict resolution and understanding the internal dynamics of each individual and how these dynamics affect the couple relationship. I seek to help you understand your own personality and background as well as that of your partner. I am certified to administer an inventory, which can uncover the similarities and differences in your relationship dynamics.

Are you engaged and need premarital counseling? Or, perhaps you are married and simply "fell out of love". Is there an infidelity that needs to be forgiven, and the desire to repair the marriage? Is arguing the norm between the two of you? Through faith-based counseling a healthier "couple" will emerge and manifest. In a nonjudgmental and safe environment, exploration will take place to identify and eradicate the problematic circumstances. I look forward to working with you, and I applaud you for taking the first step toward a happier state of co-existence! Let's start your tomorrow today.

I help couples develop skills and behaviors to better understand each other, resolve conflicts and communicate effectively. My approach is educational and practical, and it will help you find ways to increase intimacy, marital satisfaction and happiness. I offer services to people in a wide spectrum, from those who are looking for help with difficult relationship issues to others who are looking for relationship enrichment.