Anger Management and Counseling in Burke Centre, VA.

We all get angry sometimes. Anger, like other emotions, is important. It signals to us that something is going on that we need to pay attention to. Chronic irritability, rage and/or violent outbursts also can be a sign that our nervous systems are stuck on high. If we don’t slow ourselves down, anger can take up a lot of space in our relationships and our lives. I work with people to help them recognize the triggers for their anger and what meaning this trigger holds for them. I also help people learn how to calm down their systems. In this way, people can express their feelings and needs in a way that leads to happier lives and better relationships.

All of us experience moments of unwanted emotional intensity and that is normal. However, if you are experiencing moments of intense emotional intensity that you are unable to control, we can help you regain your emotional self-control. We will work with you to help you gain insight into the disruptive emotions and impulses that make you feel out of control and helpless. We will enable you with tools and strategies that you can use to improve your relationships and make your life more fulfilling and enjoyable. Emotional self-control can be learned and we can help.

Anger is a natural response to hurt and fear but it can cause more pain in our lives if we use it to hurt others, physically or emotionally. Anger that is destructive, usually comes from an old hurt that we are carrying within us. This hurt has been painfully touched by circumstances or by the actions of someone else. First we need to learn ways to stop our hurtful actions by taking a break or walking away. Then, however, we need to turn our attention to the underlying hurt and to bring compassion and care to our own hurt self. You will find that at the same time, you become more compassionate toward other people.

How do you know if your anger is serious enough to need help? A quick answer is if you find that anger is your go-to, knee-jerk reaction to everyday irritants and disappointments, or if your anger is compromising your quality of life, it may be time to talk to someone. My way of working with angry clients is to both search for the causes of the anger as well as figure out concrete, common-sense ways for anger to be managed on a daily basis. Anger itself is not the problem; often it's the management (or mismanagement) of it that brings on a host of other problems. Maybe you have a right to be angry! But wouldn't it be better to be able to express that anger in a way others can really hear it?

Uncontrollable anger, a bad temper and aggression can lead to significant relationship and career failures. Identifying the triggers that cause one to become upset and learning more adaptive strategies and solutions are the essential ingredients for change. Cognitive restructuring, problem solving, improving communication and relaxation strategies are but a few approaches used in anger management treatment. Working with partners, spouses or family members is also beneficial. At times, medication may be warranted in conjunction with therapy or counseling. We at Ashburn Psychological Services are here to help.

We all experience anger in our lives. I help clients develop healthy ways to experience and express their anger by: • Identifying effective ways to handle anger and express feelings; • Understanding how feelings such as fear, pride and inferiority feed anger; • Transforming negative patterns of thinking, relating and behaving that influence anger; • Learning ways to communicate, resolve conflicts and meet needs successfully; and • Developing a healthy lifestyle that supports a successful life. The constructive use of anger, assertiveness, helps express and preserve our needs, worth, and convictions while considering and respecting the needs and feelings of others.