Grief and Loss Counseling in St Helens, OR.

It is common for family members to berate themselves about what they could have done, or what they did, to the person who has passed. While this gives the illusion of control,that if the grieving person could just have done this or that, they could have changed the outcome, this mode of thinking is actually a trap which can prolong the grieving process. I help bereaved people remove obstacles to the normal grieving process so that they can move through it and come to acceptance and peace.

Dealing with grief and loss is something most people have to do sometime in their lives. Grief is a natural response to the loss of someone or something very dear to us. Losses that may lead to grief include the death or separation of a loved one, loss of a job, death or loss of a beloved pet, or any number of other changes in life such as divorce, becoming an "empty nester," or retirement. Anyone can experience grief and loss, but each person is unique in how he or she copes with these feelings.

When a client tells me about suffering from past trauma and loss, I ask them how they would like to feel instead. Many of them have forgotten that there could be another way to feel. Over the weeks, as we work together to discard their old harmful brain pathways, replacing them with new life-affirming positive ways of thinking and being, they are amazed. Reprocessing old harmful thought patterns through Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a great therapeutic tool. They make changes and move forward with new balance and love for themselves and others. This is true for parents suffering from the loss of a child, domestic violence victims, veterans, and spousal death.

Grief and loss is, unfortunately, a normal part of living. There is no single "correct" way to grieve: different cultures and even individuals from the same culture grieve differently. The only consistent feature is that grief takes time. The most effective thing anyone can do for someone grieving is to be there—to listen, to empathize, to walk along with the grief. There is no "fixing" grief. But counseling can help prevent normal grief from developing into major depression or other mental health conditions.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Grief can grab us when there is loss of who or what we love. I have found my own healing comes through honoring that relationship, individual, identity or role. Mourning can include emotion, expression and action that can tie the past to the present and future. Together we can become aware of how to tell and connect these stories in a meaningful way.