Grief and Loss Counseling in Silverton, OR.

It is common for family members to berate themselves about what they could have done, or what they did, to the person who has passed. While this gives the illusion of control,that if the grieving person could just have done this or that, they could have changed the outcome, this mode of thinking is actually a trap which can prolong the grieving process. I help bereaved people remove obstacles to the normal grieving process so that they can move through it and come to acceptance and peace.

Grief and loss is, unfortunately, a normal part of living. There is no single "correct" way to grieve: different cultures and even individuals from the same culture grieve differently. The only consistent feature is that grief takes time. The most effective thing anyone can do for someone grieving is to be there—to listen, to empathize, to walk along with the grief. There is no "fixing" grief. But counseling can help prevent normal grief from developing into major depression or other mental health conditions.

People experience grief and loss in many different ways and for many different reasons. Losing a loved one to death is only one way. We can also suffer grief and loss through divorce, loss of a job, decline in health or functioning, and through the loss of innocence and or safety caused by abuse, neglect, or violent acts. Allow me to journey with you through this difficult time.

Even though every single one of us has experienced loss, it is a topic that isn't widely talked about in our culture. Relationship loss - by death or by conflict/estrangement Job loss Loss of a pet Loss of self/identity Undefined loss, such as not becoming a parent If you struggle to cope with transitions or change, could that be related to a past loss of some kind? Let's talk!

When a client tells me about suffering from past trauma and loss, I ask them how they would like to feel instead. Many of them have forgotten that there could be another way to feel. Over the weeks, as we work together to discard their old harmful brain pathways, replacing them with new life-affirming positive ways of thinking and being, they are amazed. Reprocessing old harmful thought patterns through Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a great therapeutic tool. They make changes and move forward with new balance and love for themselves and others. This is true for parents suffering from the loss of a child, domestic violence victims, veterans, and spousal death.

Grieving any deep loss can be overwhelming (esp. for the Highly Sensitive), whether it is the loss of a person, relationship, community, ability, career, dream, life path, opportunity or possession (to name only a few). Significant losses are never simple, nor singular, rather they involve a myriad of complex experiences & emotions and can feel all consuming at times. My approach involves attending to the core of the grief as well as the ways it ripples into all areas of your life. We will find ways that best support you in holding the intensity of the pain, & in your own time, retrieve the gifts and lessons of that which has passed so that you can open space for living well with the loss.

Grief and Loss can trigger a variety of health concerns. Talking about issues of grief and loss in session help integrate the emotion center of our brain with the side which organizes and makes sense of the emotional content. One way to do this is through talk therapy which, over time, can help people process periods of grief and loss which are a part of all of our lives. This is especially important when people are also dealing with current or past trauma which can magnify periods of grief or loss. Finding a counselor with whom one can share one's deepest pain is especially important in this case, ensuring one receives help without overwhelming their closest friends and family.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Grief is a powerful emotion. It is hard to “just move on.” Part of you is lost. Grieving the loss of a loved one takes time and energy to heal the wounds. Even if we are expecting and know our loved one is in a better place, we feel the emptiness they once occupied. Sometimes the best healing is by talking about that person, life you had with them, and sharing memories. I will walk alongside you and help you move forward at your pace. Call, email, or text me today.