Anger Management and Counselling in Beamsville, ON.

One of the most common complaints I hear from parents is that their child never listens. “No matter what it is they just don’t hear me. I yell and scream and plead but it’s like I am talking to a brick wall.” Most of the time the way the message is delivered is more important than the message itself. Adults and children alike tend to close themselves off from loud and intrusive tones of voice. I help parents understand that perhaps the best way to get their kids to listen and behave is by first changing their attitudes towards the situation. Engaging in a parenting paradigm shift is a great way to start their journey and I can help with this process.

Working with emotions is a central feature of my therapy practice. I believe that all emotions serve a purpose and that none are essentially bad. However, that said, what we do with our emotions matters very much and learning to recognize, experience, and accept feelings is an important part of learning how to express them effectively. Understanding that anger is often connected to other foundational emotions such as fear or shame is an important part of the process.

Anger is an emotion that often comes up when we feel threatened, provoked or feel resentful about painful experiences. It is a normal emotion like any other. Imagine it to be a source of energy, and we need to find the safest way to diffuse, transform and use that energy efficiently. I can help you understand, manage and self-regulate your angry feelings, and that will empower you to better control angry reactions and turn them into solution focused responses.

I provide strategies using Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) for emotional regulation to manage anger, or other overwhelming emotions such as irritability, frustration, impulsivity, and lea to difficulty communicating and expressing feelings, which can be difficult to cope with. These issues can cause problems in relationships and work. Contact me for a free 15 minute consultation to discuss how this can help you.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

In my experience of conducting the Men's Anti-violence groups, I can help with "self-regulation" of negative and highly charged feelings of anger and resentment, both in intimate family and work-related areas. My focus is to help people with a "hot-temper" or "short-fuse" by identifying and isolating feelings that may originate and reside in negative family dynamics where "injustice" and unfairness often are at the root of such "pent-up" unexpressed feelings. Or, you were "not allowed" to express such natural and valid feelings. Effective new "habits" are learned as are ways to "control" this reflexive and impulsive behaviour. I have seen positive and healthy change come about as a result.

Your goal with other people is to interact effectively. Does anger do that? We know it does not, but we develop habitual trigger responses that can escalate conflict. We need ways to slow down our words and actions until we can focus on our real goal and the best way to reach it. In counselling we take time to explore your thoughts and feelings so that you can figure yourself out to find the right techniques and strategies. Sometimes it can be a matter of trial and error. I help you explore the options and you find what is effective for you.