Grief and Loss Counseling in Southold, NY.

Grief and loss are processes and like many processes, they change and transform. What feels like heartbreak to you at first, may be transformed through our work together, into a heart that has an even greater capacity for love and connection. I believe that heartbreak is necessary to break open and expand the heart's horizons. You will never forget those who you have held so dear and lost, but through our work together, you will make peace with those losses and appreciate the gifts of those relationships.

When we lose someone we love, it feels like we have lost a part of ourselves. Something within us has been torn out, leaving a hole that we easily imagine will never heal. The pain can be profound, the feelings of helplessness, or regret, or guilt overwhelming. Having a partnership where you can talk through these feelings can make a huge difference not only in how quickly and how well you are able to move through the process of grieving, but also how you ultimately are able to frame the experience and your memories of the person lost into the narrative of your own self and life as you move forward. What you carry with you afterward is just as important as surviving the hurt of the loss.

Grief and loss inevitably leads to anger & sadness. Not surprisingly, it also can lead to depression and feelings of guilt. The latter is called irrational guilt, as most of us lack magical powers to cure dying people. Even if they mean the world to us. I would encourage my clients to express feeling of guilt and anger often unconscious related to the loss. The anger is often at the person who died. Of course, this is irrational anger in most cases, as we all are going to die. The anger is over losing someone we love, value. I would use clinical interventions that usher in the grieving process. This fosters coming to terms with and an acceptance of the loss.

I believe that work plays a large role in how we perceive ourselves and others around us. The stages of change can generally apply to not only the loss of a loved one, but the loss of work, loss of a function, a child's innocence, and a multitude of other factors that greatly inhibit people from moving on in their lives. It's important to find the meaning through suffering and understand that we all have the freedom to make -sometimes undesirable- choices in our lives

As a psychologist, I can give people the tools to deal with grief and loss, as well as to discuss the topic in ways geared toward working through the loss. Grief and loss are both issues that present themselves during the time of loss, but sometimes unresolved grief leads to changes in a person's life years or even decades later. I especially encourage people dealing with the latter to call me. Working through a distant loss can be extremely powerful. And understanding how it still affects you can feel good, as well as to open doors that were previously closed in life.

I provide services that support people in loss of previous life style, loss of their own ability due to a disability, and loss of someone they were close to or a colleague. Grief is different for everyone, but one of the most popular models arranges the 5 stages of grief as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. People take different amounts of time to get through these stages of try to skip over them but they are natural. Since everyone’s grieving is specific to them, my method is adjusted to accommodate my clients. My hope is to support you through this process to build coping skills, listen and be an extra resource.

Grief is a deeply painful and often lonely and scary process to experience. Depending on the severity of your loss, it can impact every aspect of your life, like a giant ball in the box that is your life. Every time the ball hits the wall of the box it hurts. Over time, the ball gets smaller and doesn't impact every aspect of your life. However, when it does bounce against the wall it hurts just like it did in the beginning. With the right understanding of how grief it ebbs and flows over time and the space to allow it to be expressed, one can begin to heal.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I remember many years ago learning in graduate school about a technique for rapidly helping people to deal with the pain of loss while retaining the memory of their loved one. To this day I remember the specifics of how to help people w/this therapeutic approach. I also utilize individual and family therapy models to help grieving people. Please do not hesitate to contact me for therapy or a referral.

Everyone grieves differently which means that coping with loss looks differently and varies from person to person. At Transformation Counseling Services our therapists are specially trained to help you move through the stages of grief and work through your loss. If you are experiencing grief related symptoms we are here to help. Please contact us for a free consultation.

Personal loss such as a loved one or due to trauma needs to be mourned in order to move on in one's life. This difficult process requires a 'witness' to the emotional loss. Psychoanalysis serves the function of enabling a person to speak about the loss. It enables an individual to remember in a way that enhances the individual survivor.