Grief and Loss Counseling in Ilion, NY.

I am committed to helping my patients cope with grieving the loss of a loved one by encouraging them to express their emotions and helping them find meaning in situations that are often tragic. I try to employ a patient approach to help with the essential task of adjustment to such sudden change. Grief therapy also involves the loss of body parts, body functions and adjustment to an illness which is often life threatening

Grief and loss inevitably leads to anger & sadness. Not surprisingly, it also can lead to depression and feelings of guilt. The latter is called irrational guilt, as most of us lack magical powers to cure dying people. Even if they mean the world to us. I would encourage my clients to express feeling of guilt and anger often unconscious related to the loss. The anger is often at the person who died. Of course, this is irrational anger in most cases, as we all are going to die. The anger is over losing someone we love, value. I would use clinical interventions that usher in the grieving process. This fosters coming to terms with and an acceptance of the loss.

When we lose someone we love, it feels like we have lost a part of ourselves. Something within us has been torn out, leaving a hole that we easily imagine will never heal. The pain can be profound, the feelings of helplessness, or regret, or guilt overwhelming. Having a partnership where you can talk through these feelings can make a huge difference not only in how quickly and how well you are able to move through the process of grieving, but also how you ultimately are able to frame the experience and your memories of the person lost into the narrative of your own self and life as you move forward. What you carry with you afterward is just as important as surviving the hurt of the loss.

Grief is a deeply painful and often lonely and scary process to experience. Depending on the severity of your loss, it can impact every aspect of your life, like a giant ball in the box that is your life. Every time the ball hits the wall of the box it hurts. Over time, the ball gets smaller and doesn't impact every aspect of your life. However, when it does bounce against the wall it hurts just like it did in the beginning. With the right understanding of how grief it ebbs and flows over time and the space to allow it to be expressed, one can begin to heal.

I provide services that support people in loss of previous life style, loss of their own ability due to a disability, and loss of someone they were close to or a colleague. Grief is different for everyone, but one of the most popular models arranges the 5 stages of grief as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. People take different amounts of time to get through these stages of try to skip over them but they are natural. Since everyone’s grieving is specific to them, my method is adjusted to accommodate my clients. My hope is to support you through this process to build coping skills, listen and be an extra resource.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.