Great Couples Counseling in Lloyd Harbor, NY. Therapy to heal relationships.

It wasn't always this way. There was a time you looked forward to being with each other. You both trusted and enjoyed each other's company. You felt understood and accepted for being yourself. In couple's counseling, Hal offers you the opportunity to find the hidden strengths in the heart and soul of your relationship. Hal has helped hundreds of couples to improve communication and increase trust. Hal is very well respected and experienced in couple's counseling. In addition, he is a published author and was invited to appear on David Letterman's Late Night television program. Hal's schedule is flexible and appointments are available on evenings and weekends. Call Hal at (516) 439-4282

What makes working with you as a couple different than you as two individuals is the fact that your relationship has an identity separate from, and dependent on you. In fact, the health of your relationship has a great deal to do with how much you acknowledge the distinction between yourself as an individual and who you are a part of a relationship. In our work together, you and your partner will begin to differentiate yourselves as individuals from who you are in your relationship so that you can begin to nurture both.

I can help you navigate understanding and recovery through infidelity, deceit, and betrayal and guide you on your path toward healing. We will work together to identify the problem behaviors and frameworks and map a path toward freedom from pain. It is possible to not only overcome this adversity but also to land in a stronger and better place than before. I am here and eager to provide a safe place to help you see healing and reconciliation.

Working with couples individually/collaboratively without blame or shame, assisting partners in understanding their role in the conflict, has been a primary focus of my 30+ years of clinical practice. I teach couples that there is no right way to live.The framework and ingredients are defined by each person in the relationship. Connection, not control, engagement, not enmeshment allow for ongoing individual growth and relationship capacity. Personal awareness, acknowledgement, new attitudes and behavioral action all contribute to building a bridge between partners. I assist my clients as they look to themselves not the other to create ongoing growth, capacity and fulfillment of commitment.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

I work with couples to become more conscious and intentional in their interactions. I teach couples specific communication skills to break destructive patterns of relating. I encourage each partner to look and their own behavior and how they may be contributing to the problems. I explore with couples how the problems they are having in their current relationship are related to their experiences in childhood. I work with couples on eliminating reactivity by implementing self-soothing techniques. My goal with couples is to have both partners feel heard and understood by each other.

Marriage or couple relationships are a tug of war for power and control. When the leverage of the couple becomes one sided: disappointment, fears, worries and anger become predominant emotions. At this point, you may think about leaving because you can't understand your conflicted feelings. Remember, " You can't run away from yourself". It is essential to know your contribution to the dysfunction in the relationship. When you can face your feelings and behaviors patterns and take responsibility for your actions leaving the "blame" behind, the couple begins the repair process enabling respectful listening and communicating leading to healing feelings and setting the stage for intimacy.

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) with years of training and experience helping couples to navigate the most painful and difficult chapter in their relationships. I will guide you with compassion, empathy, and a skill set that is born in working with couples across the country in their healing journeys. I have been featured in Forbes, the Knot, and other leading media outlets discussing relationships, intimacy, and communication. I’d love to connect with you and your partner about the unique circumstances that you are facing and how I might be able to help.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

I use the Gottman Method of couples counseling for couples, whether you're partners or married, this approach has been backed by 40 years of research to be successful. It includes an extensive intake process since each couple is unique, a feedback session, and from there specified exercises and tools to target the areas of your relationship that can be improved.

In session, our couples learn to build a strong marriage and healthy relationship through improved communication, conflict resolution, managing expectation, reconnect and more. We work with couples living together or long distance. We guide them along the way implementing various methods to help them develop new attitudes towards life’s most complex matters. 

Drawing close in intimacy in a couple can be challenging. Being close to another person can result in buttons getting pushed in areas of the self that were never resolved. Despite the challenge, we deeply want to feel intimacy in life. Intimacy in relationship, while often challenging, is one of the greatest opportunities for growth. Caring, compassionate communication between partners opens each person to deeper feeling, connection, and expression. These capacities are crucial for a fulfilled life. I help you learn genuine communication expressing your needs while respecting and caring for your partner. These fulfilling communications lead to a better relationship and a better life.

Communication and respect are often considered the cornerstones of a fruitful relationship. However, often times couples loose sight of the things that initially brought them together. Spending hours talking to and listening to their significant other, date nights, movie nights and outings with friends and family. These treasures often get pushed aside when the reality of life gets set in motion. I work with couples in clearly defining the goals and objectives of their relationships, addressing challenging misconceptions, infidelity, family and work related issues. Couples who work hard and develop clear goals often reap the benefits of better communication, intimacy and love.