Family Counseling Services in Watchung, NJ.

Effective parenting starts with healthy and respectful relationships. However, having just the right relationship in place is sometimes not enough for a happy home. If you find that your punitive measures are no longer cutting it, or you find your adolescent children becoming more and more disconnected from you, you have every right to be concerned. Many families need support in the form of an empathic and effective counselor to create healthier relationships at home. Unhealthy dynamics are usually created and exacerbated by everyone involved - not just one person. How can seeking family counseling help your family?

Originally trained as a family therapist at the Family Institute of Cambridge, Mass., I have evolved as an experienced family therapist. I believe that family therapy is generally the treatment of choice in resolving issues and preventing the problem from going to the next generation. It is useful to see an entire family but can also be beneficial if parts of a family will work together to overcome communication problems, resentments, and misunderstandings that can tear families apart. Family therapy is very helpful to resolving conflicts of adult children after a parent has died. It can also be useful with young children, siblings, as well as teenagers, middle-aged people and older adults.

During Family Therapy we deal with: patterns of communication (the way people in the family talk to each other); anger (how that sabotages the family); correcting dysfunctional patters, and negotiation (how to work out things so that everybody feels O.K. about the solutions). During family counseling families learn how to deal with crisis as well conflict management techniques. Also included are effective parenting skills for both children as well as teenagers. Therapy needs to have practical strategies and to be as short term as possible.

Families often involve three or more individuals, each with their own emotions, understandings, relationships, and challenges. This can make the family dynamic complicated. Also, sometimes one or more family members have experienced personal circumstances that the whole family can have a hard time understanding. Family therapy can help improve family boundaries, clear up misunderstandings, and re-learn healthier communication methods to empower your family to move forward and meet future challenges more effectively.

Helping couples and families with relationship issues, parenting, step and blended family issues. Also helping family going through loss, divorce, illness and coping with difficult and painful issues related to a child or other family member. Also help to strengthen family and couple communication with spouse, children, in-laws and other family members.

I teach family members a skill called the Intentional Dialogue to help improve family communication. Often family members don't feel heard, that what they say matters, understood and that others know what they are feeling. The Intentional Dialogue allows each family member to share their 'side of the story' in a safe environment without fearing being judged or criticized. When this happens family members start to work as a team rather than be adversarial.

Teen therapy can require a family component. While your teen is the client, their effort is impacted by the dynamics at home. Including parents, and sometimes even siblings, in the process is important. Family therapy sessions are opportunities to get on the same page for supporting your teen and communicating more effectively as a team. You will all have a safe space to share your perspectives and express your needs in a structured, nonjudgemental environment. As the therapist, I will facilitate the discussion to ensure everyone is respected and heard. You will all leave with a greater understanding of each other and the pertinent tools and techniques to support your loved one.

Our music therapists specialize in reaching children, teens, and young adults, including those with special needs like autism, ADHD, and Down's syndrome, as well as siblings of children with special needs who are working to identify their role or voice in the family. Individualized music exercises conducted by our highly trained therapists can address coping strategies, social skills, functional speech, and more!

When a loved one has an addiction or alcohol problem, the whole family suffers. The impact may not be immediately evident, but it is there, festering and creating anger, resentment, insecurity and other emotional and often financial issues. Families often feel beat up by the addict and then beat up by the treatment centers, who offer addict focused education and minimal family treatment. Who is supporting you, the family, when your family weekend is over? You loved one is released from treatment with an aftercare plan. What is your aftercare plan? Living with a newly recovering person doesn’t have to mean walking on eggshells. Compassionate family focused education, coaching and therapy help families heal and create lives worth living.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I always include parent(s) in all sessions so they can learn how to bring out the best in their children. I reach, teach, educate and motivate children to value and respect their parents. When children show gratitude not attitude it is much easier for parents to praise and show love rather than yelling, punishing, and restricting their children. The resulting harmonious relations improve the atmosphere of the entire household and the benefits extend to siblings.

Family problems affect everyone in the family-from the oldest down to the youngest family member. Working with as few as two family members, I can help you and your family resolve conflict, emotional cut-offs, and negative communication patterns. Long term unresolved issues often create present day conflict and misunderstandings that affect everyone in the family. Therapy can help uncover and resolve those issues as well as work through the current family issues.

In family counseling family members develop healthy ways of communicating and responding to one another to create and establish an atmosphere of trust and emotional safety. Family members learn to identify their own needs, increase sensitivity to the needs of others and interact in ways that build trust. Family counseling is conducted in an atmosphere of respect and dignity for all.

Kids live in the context of their families, and I believe that when you work with kids, the family should be included because this is the best way to create change. As parents, you are the most important people in your children's lives, and I want to strengthen your connections with them. It is important to look at the cycles that families get into, and also to understand what prevents communication between kids and their parents. The therapy is tailored to the needs of your family, so who is present in each session may vary. I want to support individuals as well as restore and improve the connection between parents and their children. This also applies to adult children and their parents.

I offer family therapy for children 8 and up all the way to adult children wanting family therapy with aging parents. We'll start with a thorough assessment of what's going on and your goals as a family. We'll learn new ways to express needs and address conflict. We'll look back at the family system over the last few generations, noting patterns, cultural heritage, strengths, and generational patterns that need to be changed. I'll walk with your family until things are in a better place--reach out anytime.