Family Counseling Services in Rutherford, NJ.

I enjoy doing both family counseling. I get to know each member of the family individually and the family dynamic, and how each person perceives the presenting problem. I am careful not to take sides and blame any one family member. All deserve respect. I work to learn more and to help you be more curious about whatever problem you are coming to me to resolve.

My approach to family therapy is to look for the source of the family conflict. After over 37 years of practice, I can usually zero in on what is going on. Sometimes one parent is out of control. Sometimes parents are in conflict over child-rearing practices; one is too permissive and one too strict. Sometimes one child is favored over another. I generally meet with the whole family over a period of time, encouraging honest and constructive communication. Through patient guidance, the problems surface and are worked out.

I leverage a solution-based approach to clearly outline your primary challenge, work through an exercise to meditate on and define your future state and then work over 8 sessions to achieve it via homework and 1:1 sessions. Clients have experienced great success with this approach, my goal is to empower you - YOU have the answers and I want to help you find them.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Our music therapists specialize in reaching children, teens, and young adults, including those with special needs like autism, ADHD, and Down's syndrome, as well as siblings of children with special needs who are working to identify their role or voice in the family. Individualized music exercises conducted by our highly trained therapists can address coping strategies, social skills, functional speech, and more!

Family therapy is often times a necessary extention to individual therapy. Families are supposed to work as a system. Sometimes the system breaks down and one member may be viewed as the broken piece. Until the system comes together to work through what is really happening the problem often persists. In therapy together we can look at your system as a whole. Let's open lines of communication between family members, improve your relationships and begin enjoying your lives together again.

When a loved one has an addiction or alcohol problem, the whole family suffers. The impact may not be immediately evident, but it is there, festering and creating anger, resentment, insecurity and other emotional and often financial issues. Families often feel beat up by the addict and then beat up by the treatment centers, who offer addict focused education and minimal family treatment. Who is supporting you, the family, when your family weekend is over? You loved one is released from treatment with an aftercare plan. What is your aftercare plan? Living with a newly recovering person doesn’t have to mean walking on eggshells. Compassionate family focused education, coaching and therapy help families heal and create lives worth living.

Helping couples and families with relationship issues, parenting, step and blended family issues. Also helping family going through loss, divorce, illness and coping with difficult and painful issues related to a child or other family member. Also help to strengthen family and couple communication with spouse, children, in-laws and other family members.

Family therapy looks at the entire family system—parents, children, extended family members—to identify strengths and problematic behaviours. I collaborate with families on strategies for utilizing their own capabilities for resolving problems, and on developing effective communication and problem-solving skills for preventing conflicts. I specialize in working with families of teenagers, which is an age that can be challenging for both the teenagers and their parents.

Distressed family members too often exclusively focus their efforts on changing their difficult sibling, parent, grandparent or in-law. This is ineffective. Difficult family members often resist such efforts. I teach each family member how to first work on changing their own self-defeating emotional and behavioral reactions in response to their difficult family members. Once someone calms down and not gets so upset about the other people in their family they can influence other people to find better ways to live with or at least gracefully tolerate each other. I show each family member how to work on themselves in order to have a better chance of influencing others. Think about this.

Careers and children each place enormous stress on a couple’s ability to be together in an intimate and satisfying way. Every couple has different ways of dealing with the challenges, and counseling can provide the perspective and encouragement to re-create a shared vision for the future. For something as important as this, it is surprising how little training and preparation is provided; family therapy fills in the blanks, and resolves the confusion.

I always include parent(s) in all sessions so they can learn how to bring out the best in their children. I reach, teach, educate and motivate children to value and respect their parents. When children show gratitude not attitude it is much easier for parents to praise and show love rather than yelling, punishing, and restricting their children. The resulting harmonious relations improve the atmosphere of the entire household and the benefits extend to siblings.

During Family Therapy we deal with: patterns of communication (the way people in the family talk to each other); anger (how that sabotages the family); correcting dysfunctional patters, and negotiation (how to work out things so that everybody feels O.K. about the solutions). During family counseling families learn how to deal with crisis as well conflict management techniques. Also included are effective parenting skills for both children as well as teenagers. Therapy needs to have practical strategies and to be as short term as possible.

Family can be a wonderful source of strength and love, but the dynamism of so many individuals and their own needs and desires can also create different and new challenges. My goal as a therapist that works with both individuals and couples is to help you understand your family dynamics and needs so that I can provide you with the tools and techniques to thrive within your family life as it is now.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently dysregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dystunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

Dr. Sara Mandelbaum and Dr. Joel Stukalin are expert consultants for short-term interventions with families, specifically related to child-rearing & blended family issues. They consult regularly with concerned parents and grandparents about family related issues that threaten the family health and integrity. Usually a few, comprehensive sessions with Dr. Joel or Dr. Sara lay the groundwork for a better understanding that leads to the resolution of family problems. Where necessary individulal counseling referrals can be made. Clients have stated that the focused, intelligent & solution-oriented approach from our sessions has often helped them derive necessary knowledge for family harmony

Keeping the family strong means that you have a strong support system around you. I work with the family to help members better understand the system that they have created, how it is functioning, and how it is serving them. The goal is to understand the system by assessing its strengths and weaknesses to better use it to support and sustain its members.

Individuals can learn about how their family dynamics impacted life experiences and shaped thoughts and belief systems. Clients can begin healing from emotionally immature parents and learn emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills to navigate emotional experiences and relationship. Clients can recognize patterns within relationships and learn how to cultivate healthier relationships.

Nearly all families deal with some sort of stress or conflict at one point or another. In the middle of what can seem like the most difficult time for your family, actually lies opportunity. Through therapy, I can help family members begin to understand one another better, improve their communication, and resolve conflicts, leading to healthier and more secure relationships. Your family is the most powerful resource. Let’s strengthen it together.

What makes working with you as a family different than you as an individual is your family has an identity as well. In fact, the health of your family has a great deal to do with how much you acknowledge the distinction between yourself as an individual and who you are a part of a family. In our work together, you and your partner will begin to differentiate yourselves as individuals from who you are in your family so that you can begin to nurture both.

I teach family members a skill called the Intentional Dialogue to help improve family communication. Often family members don't feel heard, that what they say matters, understood and that others know what they are feeling. The Intentional Dialogue allows each family member to share their 'side of the story' in a safe environment without fearing being judged or criticized. When this happens family members start to work as a team rather than be adversarial.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between partners. Through structured sessions, we explore underlying patterns and attachment needs driving relationship dynamics. Using interventions aimed at fostering empathy and understanding, we facilitate open communication and emotional expression. Couples learn to recognize and address negative interaction cycles, replacing them with healthier patterns of connection and responsiveness. EFT emphasizes creating a secure attachment bond, fostering feelings of safety and trust within the relationship. By deepening emotional intimacy and building a stronger connection, couples experience wellness.

The family can be the very foundation of support, comfort, and love, but it can also be the greatest source of stress, strain, and sorrow. Our compassionate and experienced family counselors help family members have a closer, stronger, and more rewarding relationship with each other and teach family members how to resolve conflict in a healthy way. Our counselors can assist parents to address the unique needs of children and adolescents with emotional, behavioral, communicative, and learning issues. They will help facilitate much-needed dialogue between feuding family members. The counselors will assess how best to treat the family. Sometimes, counseling will be conducted with the entire family present and sometimes with just the designated child. At...(view profile to read more)

Families are the most important elements of society. We believe that healthy families form great communities. It all starts with the couple. We do intense couples and family therapy. Our relational skill building approach has helped many couples and families to reduce violence, conflict, miscommunication and anger at home. We are the only ones who give you a two-for-one treatment. We provide couples and family treatment along with anger management treatment at not extra cost.

In family counseling family members develop healthy ways of communicating and responding to one another to create and establish an atmosphere of trust and emotional safety. Family members learn to identify their own needs, increase sensitivity to the needs of others and interact in ways that build trust. Family counseling is conducted in an atmosphere of respect and dignity for all.