Great Couples Counseling in Woodcliff Lake, NJ. Therapy to heal relationships.

It's important that you know that I don't take sides or engage in blaming either partner. I understand that you are in my office because you want help. I get to know the couple as individuals and as a couple. So in addition to meeting together, I would meet individually with both partners. We would come up with a treatment plan, including frequency of meeting and schedule, treatment goals, and what each person wants from the therapy. We might focus on identifying feelings, changing toxic communication patterns, and opening up communication.

I can help you navigate understanding and recovery through infidelity, deceit, and betrayal and guide you on your path toward healing. We will work together to identify the problem behaviors and frameworks and map a path toward freedom from pain. It is possible to not only overcome this adversity but also to land in a stronger and better place than before. I am here and eager to provide a safe place to help you see healing and reconciliation.

In session, our couples learn to build a strong marriage and healthy relationship through improved communication, conflict resolution, managing expectation, reconnect and more. We work with couples living together or long distance. We guide them along the way implementing various methods to help them develop new attitudes towards life’s most complex matters. 

I love working with couples and especially high conflict couples. I draw on the Gottman Method, an evidence-based couples therapy that starts with a detailed relationship checkup and great communication tools that will transform how you talk and listen to each other. Couples come to me for everything from dating challenges, premarital counseling, and marital check-ups to serious conflict, infidelity, ambivalence about staying together, and even recovering from emotional or physical abuse. I am trained to help you strengthen your relationship.

It can take us a lifetime to learn to accept the person we have chosen to live with, but it could also take us the same time to try to change that person and not be successful. Couples Therapy can help us understand that even though we all have the potential to change, we cannot change the other. We can learn how to accept the other person, live together or decide not to, and explore what are our own contributions to the dilemmas that we present.

I work with couples to become more conscious and intentional in their interactions. I teach couples specific communication skills to break destructive patterns of relating. I encourage each partner to look and their own behavior and how they may be contributing to the problems. I explore with couples how the problems they are having in their current relationship are related to their experiences in childhood. I work with couples on eliminating reactivity by implementing self-soothing techniques. My goal with couples is to have both partners feel heard and understood by each other.

Anger is not an aphrodisiac nor is it helpful in getting more of what you want. Couples in conflict often focus too much energy on changing their partner. The problem is that each partner does not have direct control over the other. The way out is of this dilemma is to learn how to not get so upset over what you dislike in your partner. I teach each partner how to improve their relationship by first modifying their own behavior. By having better control over your emotional and behavioral reactions you can more constructively communicate, negotiate and influence your partner. I teach you how to get your message across and positively influence your partner so that you can enjoy the results!

Drawing close in intimacy in a couple can be challenging. Being close to another person can result in buttons getting pushed in areas of the self that were never resolved. Despite the challenge, we deeply want to feel intimacy in life. Intimacy in relationship, while often challenging, is one of the greatest opportunities for growth. Caring, compassionate communication between partners opens each person to deeper feeling, connection, and expression. These capacities are crucial for a fulfilled life. I help you learn genuine communication expressing your needs while respecting and caring for your partner. These fulfilling communications lead to a better relationship and a better life.

I work with many couples in my practice. I illustrate the negative cycles they get into, which is very important in calming volatile interactions, and understanding how each person triggers the other, which keeps their negative cycles in motion. We explore family histories and the messages, and coping skills they learned. I help couples to understand the emotions under their anger and frustration, and to begin to speak to their partner from this softer place. It is a process which can shift negative patterns, and create closeness. Whether there has been an affair, communication issues, a breach of trust, sexual intimacy issues, or something else, there can be a path back to each other.

Do you or your partner suffer from social anxiety and it's affecting your relationship? Social anxiety is a fear of negative judgment from others and it can lead to reduced levels of intimacy, suppressed emotions, feelings of isolation and loneliness and lack of communication. If one or both of you feels anxious socially, your relationship may be suffering too. Contact me for ways in which you can move past social anxiety to a fuller, intimate, richer, relaxed more authentic relationship.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

I usually see each person separately for a while to determine what the dynamics are and what each person brings to the relationship that is their own issues that need resolution.I will then see them together and achieve better results.My style of working with couples has been effective if both are ready to look at their issues and improve communication.

Sometimes members of a couple get stuck in their old relational patterns, the ways they have always related to others. As years pass by, and romance or sexual experiences diminish or other life events happen, the old patterns become more evident leading to gaps in communication, dissatisfaction, and lack of excitement. As a therapist, I will help you to communicate more effectively with your partner, in ways that acknowledge your personal needs and the needs of the other. I will help you find balance between conflicting needs: the needs of the individual and the needs of a couple. I work with straight couples and GLBT couples.

We know that even the healthiest relationships experience times where they feel lonely, and like their love has run its course. It is easy to let the stress of work, family and unexpected life events you affect you. Couples counseling gives couples the tools to improve communication, strengthen intimacy and deal with conflict. When you attend couples counseling with Transformation Counseling Services, we dig deep beneath the surface to uncover what has caused unhealthy communication. Our therapist specialize in working with all types of couples in every type of relationship. We work with LGBTQ+ couples as well as couples in non-traditional relationships. Please contact us for more info

Our dedicated couples counselors, through the educational and insightful works of Dr. John Gray, the best-selling author of “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” and the techniques of other renowned leaders in field of counseling, will actively assist and support a couple to have a healthier, more fulfilling, happier relationship through mutual respect, good communication, and trust. Our couples counselors will be there every step of the way as relationships grow and evolve for the better. Through empathetic active talking and listening, our couples counselors will promote a healthy change in the relationship and help you heal and forgive past inner hurts. You will be educated on what you and your partner really need in a relationship by learning...(view profile to read more)

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Art prides in helping many couples achieve the goals they aspire for their lives. Our intense relational skill building approach has succeeded when many other treatments have failed. Why? Clients get couples therapy along with anger management treatment; a two-for-one treatment at no extra cost that no one else offers. Expressions of anger usually accompany difficulties couples face. Give yourself opportunities that will save your marriage. Call us!! Please watch these video's it can only help http://www.yourtango.com/2015257107/does-fighting-mean-your-marriage-is-doomed-video#ixzz3R5CnBIi7 # 2 video http://www.yourtango.com/2013196704/marriage-advice-relationship-expert-video