Great Couples Counseling in Union City, NJ. Therapy to heal relationships.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

I use the Gottman Method of couples counseling for couples, whether you're partners or married, this approach has been backed by 40 years of research to be successful. It includes an extensive intake process since each couple is unique, a feedback session, and from there specified exercises and tools to target the areas of your relationship that can be improved.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Each couple is unhappy in its own way, but the core of the unhappiness is always miscommunication. Generally each member of a couple brings bad communication habits to the relationship and these habits clash. I use an eclectic approach to couples therapy that combines the latest research, utilizing psychoanalysis, role playing, role reversal, video and practice in constructive communication skills. In time, couples learn to communicate in a way that leads to resolution, not conflict.

In session, our couples learn to build a strong marriage and healthy relationship through improved communication, conflict resolution, managing expectation, reconnect and more. We work with couples living together or long distance. We guide them along the way implementing various methods to help them develop new attitudes towards life’s most complex matters. 

Our dedicated couples counselors, through the educational and insightful works of Dr. John Gray, the best-selling author of “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” and the techniques of other renowned leaders in field of counseling, will actively assist and support a couple to have a healthier, more fulfilling, happier relationship through mutual respect, good communication, and trust. Our couples counselors will be there every step of the way as relationships grow and evolve for the better. Through empathetic active talking and listening, our couples counselors will promote a healthy change in the relationship and help you heal and forgive past inner hurts. You will be educated on what you and your partner really need in a relationship by learning...(view profile to read more)

It's important that you know that I don't take sides or engage in blaming either partner. I understand that you are in my office because you want help. I get to know the couple as individuals and as a couple. So in addition to meeting together, I would meet individually with both partners. We would come up with a treatment plan, including frequency of meeting and schedule, treatment goals, and what each person wants from the therapy. We might focus on identifying feelings, changing toxic communication patterns, and opening up communication.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between partners. Through structured sessions, we explore underlying patterns and attachment needs driving relationship dynamics. Using interventions aimed at fostering empathy and understanding, we facilitate open communication and emotional expression. Couples learn to recognize and address negative interaction cycles, replacing them with healthier patterns of connection and responsiveness. EFT emphasizes creating a secure attachment bond, fostering feelings of safety and trust within the relationship. By deepening emotional intimacy and building a stronger connection, couples experience wellness.

What makes working with you as a couple different than you as two individuals is the fact that your relationship has an identity separate from, and dependent on you. In fact, the health of your relationship has a great deal to do with how much you acknowledge the distinction between yourself as an individual and who you are a part of a relationship. In our work together, you and your partner will begin to differentiate yourselves as individuals from who you are in your relationship so that you can begin to nurture both.

Relationship can bring great joy as well and great challenges. Many problems stem from difficulty communicating with your partner. I can assist you in finding the way to express yourself, as well as the capacity to listen; to find the appropriate boundaries that enable you to feel free while staying connected. Working through conflicts in relationships often not only preserves the relationship, but also empowers each individual to be more confident and open in their own life.

In my approach to couples counseling, I integrate the Gottman Method, a research-based approach designed to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and deepen emotional connection. Using this method, I help couples identify destructive patterns and replace them with healthy, constructive interactions. By focusing on building trust, fostering intimacy, and enhancing problem-solving skills, I guide couples toward a stronger, more resilient partnership. Couples benefit from a deeper understanding of each other, improved conflict resolution, and a renewed sense of connection and commitment.

Anger is not an aphrodisiac nor is it helpful in getting more of what you want. Couples in conflict often focus too much energy on changing their partner. The problem is that each partner does not have direct control over the other. The way out is of this dilemma is to learn how to not get so upset over what you dislike in your partner. I teach each partner how to improve their relationship by first modifying their own behavior. By having better control over your emotional and behavioral reactions you can more constructively communicate, negotiate and influence your partner. I teach you how to get your message across and positively influence your partner so that you can enjoy the results!

As a certified Imago Relationship Therapist, I help partners feel more connected. I teach couples how to communicate so that partners understand each other, feel safe and don't take their partner's behavior personally. Once partner realize they are on the same team they can start to resolve their conflicts, rebuild trust, strengthen their relationship and bring back the passion.