Great Couples Counseling in Allendale, NJ. Therapy to heal relationships.

Our intimate relationships can be our greatest source of happiness or the source of our deepIest pain. My desire is to help you explore how your beliefs and choices have disrupted your relationship and have undermined your personal happiness. Good relationships require mutual respect, flexibility, and commitment. If you have lost your way and find yourself stuck in repetitive and destructive patterns of interaction, I can help you identify and understand what is driving those patterns and determine strategies for overcoming them.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

The first step is to do a free couple’s assessment. In this session we’ll get clear on what has been difficult for both of you and how have you have been feeling. We will look at what the most important things that you have not been getting from your relationship. Then we will determine what makes a relationship for you and what would potentially break up a relationship. In closing we will go over what does work about the relationship and I will teach you a method that will help a woman learn to speak to men and for men to know how to speak to a woman.

Couples sometimes find that their relationships – once the source of so much intimacy and joy – have become disappointing, even destructive. We all reach impasses in our relationships, and these can be opportunities to overcome obstacles and grow together or to recognize irreconcilable differences and end the relationship in a healthy way. Together in therapy we can work to help you shift from criticizing and blaming to discovering individual feelings that underlie the surface conflicts. It can have a liberating and transformative effect on both you relationship and yourselves.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between partners. Through structured sessions, we explore underlying patterns and attachment needs driving relationship dynamics. Using interventions aimed at fostering empathy and understanding, we facilitate open communication and emotional expression. Couples learn to recognize and address negative interaction cycles, replacing them with healthier patterns of connection and responsiveness. EFT emphasizes creating a secure attachment bond, fostering feelings of safety and trust within the relationship. By deepening emotional intimacy and building a stronger connection, couples experience wellness.

Did your partner have an affair? Lost Love? Control Issues. Relationships can be saved if both partners are willing to work in therapy and the counselor is skilled with working with all personality types. Chris Colasuonno has provided couples, relationship and marriage counseling to hundreds of clients offering a direct but safe approach. Generally, most issues start and end with effective communication that Chris helps each partner work on. Chris works on lowering the cycle of arguing and analyzes the contributory factors that cause the partners to argue. Many times the past issues come into or cause future arguments Allow Chris to build trust, love, and communication in your relationship.

In my approach to couples counseling, I integrate the Gottman Method, a research-based approach designed to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and deepen emotional connection. Using this method, I help couples identify destructive patterns and replace them with healthy, constructive interactions. By focusing on building trust, fostering intimacy, and enhancing problem-solving skills, I guide couples toward a stronger, more resilient partnership. Couples benefit from a deeper understanding of each other, improved conflict resolution, and a renewed sense of connection and commitment.

I love working with couples and especially high conflict couples. I draw on the Gottman Method, an evidence-based couples therapy that starts with a detailed relationship checkup and great communication tools that will transform how you talk and listen to each other. Couples come to me for everything from dating challenges, premarital counseling, and marital check-ups to serious conflict, infidelity, ambivalence about staying together, and even recovering from emotional or physical abuse. I am trained to help you strengthen your relationship.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

You fell in love with your partner, enjoyed the heady first days of the relationship, but staying in love is difficult. Your relationship isn't what it was or you want, you "can't seem to get it right", or even start. The "happily ever after" fairy tale has soured. You can reauthor your story - you know life is not a fairy tale, but the real tale is far more interesting. Therapy is not about being broken, sick or wrong. It's about growth, courage & moving forward. You can learn practical skills to create an authentic loving relationship which includes passion & intimacy as well as caring & communication. It is exciting & joyful to rediscover your feelings for each other.

I work with many couples in my practice. I illustrate the negative cycles they get into, which is very important in calming volatile interactions, and understanding how each person triggers the other, which keeps their negative cycles in motion. We explore family histories and the messages, and coping skills they learned. I help couples to understand the emotions under their anger and frustration, and to begin to speak to their partner from this softer place. It is a process which can shift negative patterns, and create closeness. Whether there has been an affair, communication issues, a breach of trust, sexual intimacy issues, or something else, there can be a path back to each other.

Anger is not an aphrodisiac nor is it helpful in getting more of what you want. Couples in conflict often focus too much energy on changing their partner. The problem is that each partner does not have direct control over the other. The way out is of this dilemma is to learn how to not get so upset over what you dislike in your partner. I teach each partner how to improve their relationship by first modifying their own behavior. By having better control over your emotional and behavioral reactions you can more constructively communicate, negotiate and influence your partner. I teach you how to get your message across and positively influence your partner so that you can enjoy the results!

Couples counseling is the focus-area of my practice. Within that specialization, more specifically, I work with couples coping with infidelity and affair recovery. At the cornerstone of my approach to couples counseling is to help couples deepen their trust and establish a safe emotional climate between them. Counseling is conducted with compassion, warmth and respect. I have helped many couples restore and deepen their connections with one another and I would be honored to help you and your partner too.