Great Couples Counseling in Deephaven, MN. Therapy to heal relationships.

I provide support and practical feedback to help individuals and couples effectively address personal and relationship challenges. I integrate cutting edge techniques built to improve your relationship and take it to places you doubted were possible. With compassion and understanding, I work with each individual, couple and family to help them build on their strengths and attain the personal growth they are committed to accomplishing.

Do you have the same argument over and over again? Are you feeling alone, misunderstood, or disrespected in your marriage? I can help you work through these issues through couples counseling, and help you break the unhealthy patterns that aren’t working. Renewing trust, improving communication, and regaining the spark are all possible. Being married myself, I know that marriage is work, and that love is a choice. But even intelligent, loving couples sometimes need support. You deserve better than what’s happening now. If you’re willing to put in the work, I can help. Our mission is to help you escape the cages that hold you back and become the lion you were created to be.

Are you feeling lonely in your own marriage? Disrespected? Misunderstood? It doesn’t have to stay this way. Far too often, high-achieving men feel disrespected and lonely within their own marriages. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I help men and their wives to rediscover the incredible value they bring to the marriage, and help them negotiate a hopeful path forward. I will help you identify destructive patterns in your marriage and provide healthier alternatives. I’ll help you improve communication, learn to fight fair, and increase understanding and connection. While it’s not easy work, there is hope. If given the chance, I would be honored to help you fight for your marriage.

Couples therapy is my favorite work to do! Using Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), we will identify how you get stuck in the same arguments over and over, what underlying emotions and needs are unmet, and how to communicate on a deeper emotional level to feel more connected and understood. EFT works beautifully and leads to long lasting change! I can help you with conflict resolution, communication skills, sex and passion, infidelity and/or past hurts, creating meaning in your relationship, concerns related to extended family, parenting, or other issues. In our work together, you will be able to have the fulfilling, loving, and meaningful relationship you are hoping for.

There is nothing as precious as your relationship. That’s why your relationship deserves Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This is the treatment that years of research shows to be highly effective in helping couples improve their relationship, resolve conflicts, repair trust, and feel safe, loved and connected. EFT helps couples get to the heart of the matter. It is designed to stop the negative and stuck patterns in relationships, transforming them into the love, connection and understanding you desire.

Having been trained in a systems approach to couples therapy, my focus will be on the negative pattern of interaction (the two way street) that causes your disconnect. As result, neither partner will feel blamed, but both partners will learn ways to show up as their best self. In session I will actively engage you so that you are learning by doing. With such experiences in session, it is easier to repeat positive behaviors for repair and connection at home. You will learn to advocate for yourself so that you are heard and seen even in the tough times. When crisis or affairs have afflicted a couple, we will be sure to do the work of healing so that you can move forward when ready.

Dr. McCarthy's approach of "Co–Coaching for Dynamic Growth" challenges many currently accepted beliefs about love/romance and what it takes to have a successful relationship: e.g. “you should just accept your partner and not try to change their behavior.” Rather, the relationship is seen as a dynamic growth process for learning how to become more loving partners through mutual coaching. Each partner seeks to clearly identify his or her own core negative relationship pattern and each helps the other change through mutual, respectful coaching. Couples previously unable to break longstanding recurring patterns learn to revitalize a new relationship of deep love and emotional connection!

Want to bring back the joy and excitement you used to feel together? I help couples understand and negotiate differences in needs and feelings about a variety of issues, including communication, sex, family, shared time and future plans. You may be unsure whether you can work past the ways you've been hurt and trust each other again. Learning to stay present and listen to each other as you talk about your hopes and desires will bring you closer to the kind of relationship you really want. When you've gotten into the habit of feeling misunderstood and blamed, having a third party present to interrupt negative patterns and coach you to more effective conversations is key to creating change.

It is very challenging and rewarding working with couples. Issues in our primary relationship can impact all aspects of our life. It can be single issue based or very pervasive. A strong component of all approaches to couples' issues is learning the ability to communicate. This skill has often retreated through years of hurt feelings, defensiveness, shame. We strive to repair any damage that has been done and develop a balanced, caring relationship where both peoples’ needs are being met.

Couple counseling is helping a couple to develop a number of key skills. These include communicating clearly, listening, emotional expression, negotiating, being respectful, managing conflict, problem solving and finding ways to negotiate how they connect and also how they create separation in healthy ways. Couples can get suck when these skills are not well developed. My approach to couple work is to assess the relationship strengths and build on these while teaching key skills and resolving the challenges the couple faces. While looking at old issues is useful at times, I generally focus on how to build a clear & hopeful future. My clinical approach is direct, supportive and active.

I have had training in several models for couple's work. I mainly use RLT because it moves people fast and the model has a lot of overlap with other models that look at attachment and developmental trauma. Doing trauma work in the presence of your partner help build compassion and empathy, reducing the triggering that typically occurs in relationships. I can help improve communication, co-parenting and infidelity repair.

Couples therapy is a form of therapy that aims to improve the relationship between two people, typically romantic partners. We will work together to identify and address the specific challenges and patterns of communication that are causing distress in the relationship. Through the use of evidence-based techniques and a supportive therapeutic environment, you and your partner(s) can learn how to communicate more effectively, resolve conflicts, and strengthen their emotional connection. (I am non-traditional relationship friendly!)

You feel unappreciated and lonely. You try so hard and things just do not seem to change. You feel like you talk and talk, perhaps promises are even made, and then a bit of time goes by and you feel right back where you started. You are losing hope. You are afraid to be vulnerable but doing nothing feels scary too. You are drained and discouraged. You are not sure what to do differently or if that will even help. I understand and I can help.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

In my work with couples and relationships, I understand that every individual and relationship is different, so I will work with you to find the best way to reach the relationship goals you have. Supporting couples as they grow to create a mutually satisfying relationship is what I enjoy about my job. Therapy is a great place to learn new communication skills, increase trust, and develop a deeper understanding and appreciation for one another. I will work hard to create a supportive, nonjudgmental space for each of you to grow as individuals and as a couple.