Anger Management and Counseling in Big Lake, MN.

Anger doesn't have to rule your life. I recognize that people who struggle to manage their expression of anger are hurting. It doesn't feel good or empowering to lose control. I can help you take back the power anger has stolen from you and make the changes you are looking for. I believe that if you're coming to therapy you are ready for change. Let's work together to make it happen.

I'll help you understand the choices you have to manage and express your feelings in constructive ways. You'll become more aware, accepting, and assertive rather than reactive and misunderstood. Anger is a powerful emotion that needs to be expressed like any other emotion. Anger itself isn't bad - in fact, it's a useful signal that something's wrong and we need to take action. However, the way it's expressed can be either helpful or hurtful. Learn to center yourself and be proactive in expressing your anger in a way other people can hear.

Anger becomes a habitual way of responding to frustration and stress in life. It can become particularly harmful for our relationships with others, whether that be in our romantic relationships, in our families, or in the workplace. Unfortunately, our society tends to reinforce aggressive ways of handling relationship difficulties and the general frustrations of life. Expressing impatience, frustration, and anger have become all too common as acceptable modes of handling conflict. Overcoming patterns of anger requires honest self–appraisal and a deep commitment to treating others with respect at all times using more respectful skills of effective assertiveness.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwaive optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I approach anger management as a basic emotional skill. Like all skills, it can be taught and with practice it can be effectively developed in a short time. Some of the specific techniques I may use in teaching anger management are: identifying early signs of anger, breathing exercises, thought stopping, avoiding triggers, and teaching healthy emotional expression of a full range of feelings. I also use a variety of other techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to help my clients learn to effectively manage anger. Beyond the behavioral approach to managing anger I sometimes find it useful to explore the sources of the anger.

It is interesting that often we find that anger issues stem from early childhood issues. It can come from previous times we felt we were not heard, we were hurt, had negative things happened or were generally in an environment where we were not given a chance to develop a way to deal with anger. The physiological qualities of anger can make it harder to manager. During anger our brain sends signals to our bodies, temporarily, that the situation is life-or-death, and our flight-or-flight mechanism kicks in.

Learning how to control your anger can improve your relationships, self-esteem and reduce the amount of stress you feel. Anger is a sign that something has hurt you. It is important to deal with that hurt in an effective way. Anger in of itself is not a bad thing. It is what a person does with that anger that makes all of the difference. Anger management is good for your health and all of those around you. Learning how to use your anger effectively will have a great imact on all parts of your life.

In my experience as an EMDR therapist, I pay close attention to the links between past and present. I’ve seen time and time again how unhealed emotional wounds resurface and come out sideways. While anger management can provide helpful strategies, they don’t get to the heart of the issue. Often, anger is what we see on the surface, but the real problem is what’s underneath the anger. Negative beliefs like “I’m helpless,” “I’m out of control,” and “I’m a failure,” start to bubble up, and anger comes to the rescue. It can get us in trouble, but at least it gets the blood pumping. With research-proven EMDR therapy, I help men heal anger at its source so it doesn’t have to be managed.

I often coach men on how to better regulate their emotions, including anger. I can teach you strategies from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, provide relationship insights from the Gottman Method, and help you practice calming strategies to take control back. You might have every right to be angry. But if it’s making things worse, it’s time for a change. At Lion Counseling, our mission is to help you escape the cages that hold you back and become the lion God created you to be.

I prefer the term trigger management. Anger stems from frustration, hurt, annoyance and disappointment. We will work together to control your feelings and actions that may have been getting you in trouble at school, home, the community or at work. Recognizing your triggers can help use appropriate ways to reach goals and solve problems. You can overcome those outbursts and lead the life you desire.