Grief and Loss Counseling in Riverside, MD.

Grief and loss comes in many different packages: losing an elderly parent, a dear friend, and worst of all, a child. Another extreme form of grief and loss although not as readily identified in this category is the loss an adopted child suffers when being relinquished by his/her biological family. I have worked with many adopted children and adolescents who often struggle with depression and anxiety without even realizing that they are experiencing grief and loss. Often just labeling the grief begins the journey to healing. Others simply need permission to grieve. My office is a safe place where those who need to grieve are permitted to do so and find they then begin to heal.

Loss is inevitable. It is the flip side of love and the greatest pain we know. Hearts can break and hearts can heal. We must first accept ALL feelings. We can cultivate gratitude for the gifts our loved one gave us. Sometimes it is also important to acknowledge and learn from the mistakes of the one we have lost., the ways they may have caused pain to themselves and others. If the person has been a large part of our daily living, it is as if we need to recreate our lives bringing new resources into the emptiness. The waves of extreme pain become less frequent with time. The person's memory remains with us, and their gifts to us can inspire those very strengths in ourselves.

To help a client cope through grief and loss, I sometimes use the example of how an oyster forms a pearl. The oyster ingests a grain of sand that causes pain, and which cannot be removed or dissolved (just like we cannot eliminate the pain of missing a loved one). So the oyster begins to encase the grain of sand with layers of calcium-like substance, that makes the grain of sand easier to carry and hold, without the rough edges. Coping through grief and loss can involve learning how to unpack, experience, and adjust how we carry the pain. Therapy can help you soften and encase the pain of loss, forming a "pearl" around it that is easier to carry with you, and perhaps make it more precious.