Grief and Loss Counseling in Mountain Lake Park, MD.

Grief and loss is a difficult process that we all have to deal with at some point in our lives. Grief can involve a lot more feelings besides sadness. I explain the stages of grief so clients are aware of the many emotions they may go through in the grief process. The last stage is acceptance. This leads to a discussion about the four tasks of mourning. The four tasks include accepting the loss, working through the pain, adjusting to life without their loved one and finding a way to stay connected to their loved one while moving on with life. I help clients navigate these four tasks and support them while they are going through the process.

Loss is inevitable. It is the flip side of love and the greatest pain we know. Hearts can break and hearts can heal. We must first accept ALL feelings. We can cultivate gratitude for the gifts our loved one gave us. Sometimes it is also important to acknowledge and learn from the mistakes of the one we have lost., the ways they may have caused pain to themselves and others. If the person has been a large part of our daily living, it is as if we need to recreate our lives bringing new resources into the emptiness. The waves of extreme pain become less frequent with time. The person's memory remains with us, and their gifts to us can inspire those very strengths in ourselves.

To help a client cope through grief and loss, I sometimes use the example of how an oyster forms a pearl. The oyster ingests a grain of sand that causes pain, and which cannot be removed or dissolved (just like we cannot eliminate the pain of missing a loved one). So the oyster begins to encase the grain of sand with layers of calcium-like substance, that makes the grain of sand easier to carry and hold, without the rough edges. Coping through grief and loss can involve learning how to unpack, experience, and adjust how we carry the pain. Therapy can help you soften and encase the pain of loss, forming a "pearl" around it that is easier to carry with you, and perhaps make it more precious.