Grief and Loss Counseling in Columbia, MD.

Grief and loss are a natural and unavoidable part of life, whether it is a sudden loss, like the loss of a loved one to death, or a more gradual loss, like the loss of physical vitality with illness or aging. When a very large loss overwhelms us and makes life seem painful and perhaps meaningless, it is time to get help to put that loss in perspective. I help people to work their way through loss and find ways to make it part of the larger mosaic of their life, helping them reduce the overwhelming pain and helping them find hope and meaning again.

To help a client cope through grief and loss, I sometimes use the example of how an oyster forms a pearl. The oyster ingests a grain of sand that causes pain, and which cannot be removed or dissolved (just like we cannot eliminate the pain of missing a loved one). So the oyster begins to encase the grain of sand with layers of calcium-like substance, that makes the grain of sand easier to carry and hold, without the rough edges. Coping through grief and loss can involve learning how to unpack, experience, and adjust how we carry the pain. Therapy can help you soften and encase the pain of loss, forming a "pearl" around it that is easier to carry with you, and perhaps make it more precious.

I have guided many people going through the loss of a family member or friend. I am currently working with a client who lost his mother. He has begun to feel better and remember his mother in ways that are deeply meaningful to him. I have also experienced losses which gives me a greater understanding of what you may need to express your feelings and continue to live a full life.

Loss is inevitable. It is the flip side of love and the greatest pain we know. Hearts can break and hearts can heal. We must first accept ALL feelings. We can cultivate gratitude for the gifts our loved one gave us. Sometimes it is also important to acknowledge and learn from the mistakes of the one we have lost., the ways they may have caused pain to themselves and others. If the person has been a large part of our daily living, it is as if we need to recreate our lives bringing new resources into the emptiness. The waves of extreme pain become less frequent with time. The person's memory remains with us, and their gifts to us can inspire those very strengths in ourselves.

Each loss is unique and so is the treatment. You may need a witness to tell your story in a safe, respectful place or find strategies to deal with unresolved issues with an important person you lost or a job. I can help you through this by using different strategies, such as, writing unsent letters to the person you lost, visualizing ways of moving on while establishing rituals to maintain good memories, connecting with support groups as needed,etc.