Family Counseling Services in Olney, MD.

A family is a living organism, and when one member is in pain or confusion the whole family unit is part of that pain or confusion--sometimes as part of the cause, and always as a potential part of the cure. I offer families help in seeing how family members may contribute to each other's suffering and, more importantly, how they can help each other reduce the suffering.

We are all relational beings, living within interactive, emotional systems. How we relate to our most significant others (spouse, children, siblings, etc.) can sometimes lapse into unpleasant scripts and powerful undercurrents of action-reaction, negative group-think, and ineffective authority roles. Restoring a sense of effective functioning, wellness and harmony (shalom) within family relationships can be aided by learning and practicing new ways to empathize, communicate, and collaborate with each other. Under certain conditions, families can even benefit from video sessions or teletherapy (if more convenient and less stressful than gathering everyone at a therapist's office!)

In addition to marriage counseling, I have also helped with parenting issues, relationships between aging parents and their adult children, as well as between twins (I'm a twin). I see family conflict as normal and inevitable part of a growing and changing family. The key is how we communicate and resolve our tensions. Using Bowen family systems and emotionally-focused family therapy, I facilitate safe and open communication while being sensitive to the family hierarchy.

Whether it is mother/daughter conflict, father/son, struggles, or the whole family, the dynamics are often wrought with underlying emotions that need to be addressed. Rather than therapy for the child alone, often having the entire family meet takes the role of "identified patient" off anyone, and emotional knots can begin to loosen and be untied. I use role play, in addition to talk therapy, to engender greater empathy. When there are unhealthy "triangles," new structures are put in place so that clear communication can flow between members.

The focus of my family therapy work is the family as a whole. Working on the relationship between family members is more effective than just treating the person that is supposed to be in need of treatment. From my perspective, family therapy work sees individuals in relationships to others. As a result, the attention shifts from the symptomatic individual and problem is seen as the family as a whole. The goal of my family therapy work is to help establish a “functional family” – one in which needs and the desired goals of closeness, identity, self-expression, and meaning are met.

Said one grieving mother, "Being estranged from your children and grandchildren is harder than surviving suicide. It's like experiencing a funeral, but they are not dead." Said another, "Many of my friends are excitedly anticipating visits from their relatives. They are shopping for them, planning meals and activities. I am truly happy for them. I want the same for myself, but I can't have it..." I work with parents and their adult children who have become estranged. My goal is to bring about reconciliation. If you have a need in this area, please feel free to call me to discuss your situation.

Through family counseling, you can understand family dynamics that have impacted all of your relationships. Our families-of-origin are the training ground for our life skills. Communication skills are one example and are learned in our families; they can be relearned in therapy. Through various therapeutic approaches and techniques, I will assist you in creating a more loving and harmonious family system.

If your family is experiencing conflict and misunderstanding, I can help. By sitting down together, learning to listen to one another and allowing me to help you sort out your differences, you can begin to relate to one another in a new way. My goal is to provide a calm and safe environment where each family member expresses his or her point of view and conflicts are resolved through understanding and consensus.

Parents and teenagers must navigate a difficult process as the teenager begins to separate from the parents and form his or her separate identity. I work with both parents and teenagers to help in this process in terms of developing strategies for communication, conflict resolution and ways to begin connecting more effectively. I help both the teenager and the parent find ways to better understand and to develop greater tolerance for one another. More than any other developmental stage, the teenage years necessitate that parents alter their typical ways of parenting, become more flexible, more patient, more emotionally attentive.

Typically, family therapy will bring the entire family together in therapy sessions. However, it may be that individuals in the family also see the therapist alone. There may also be times when individuals who are not a member of the family (such as a teacher or school counselor) participate in a therapy session with the family if their participation would be of benefit to the family. We can help your family learn how to better solve problems and how to better express thoughts and feelings. In family therapy, family members will learn about family roles and rules. Family members will examine behavior patterns and learn to identify issues that cause conflict.

I would say that about 25% of my coaching is in the family scope. This area sometimes takes the most time. It has so many fascist. I ask each party for the one "big" problem and we start at that point. Resolving one step at a time. In any area of the home, there is commonly layers of bad thinking that brings things people to the edge. In the past I did testing, but I have found by the 38 years of history that you and I must get in the middle of the "stuff". Testing can really be a cop-out for the lack of experience in a field.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Have any of your family members recently graduated from high school or college? I provide career counseling and coaching to young adults that may need guidance to get them on the right career path. Or they may feel stuck and as a parent we don't always know how to help them. Feel free to reach out and contact me to learn more. I always provide a free phone consult.