Anger Management and Counseling in Plainfield, CT.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I have over a decade of experience working with people who had anger issues. I find that the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) model of therapy to be highly effective at helping people to overcome their anger. Also, meditation can be tremendously helpful to some people, and I can help teach people Yan Xin Qigong, which I learned when I did my 1st degree at UCONN. I also like to consider family and relationship issues, which sometimes benefit very well from my marriage and family therapy training. I welcome people to contact me if they want to see me or get a referral. (Please check with your insurance for coverage of anger management, as some don't cover it, or not when court ordered).

Erupting and lashing out to relieve your pain creates disruption in your everyday life. While anger is a healthy emotion, lashing out and rage creates guilt and relationship destruction. In my 30+ years of clinical practice, I have provided my clients with a non-judgemental safe environment so together we can build a trust where they can be open and honest without embarrassment or shame. In letting down their defenses and acknowledging their behavior, my clients learn how to emotionally regulate their pain by taking ownership and removing themselves from the current situation, which gives them space to provide a more regulated and healthy response.

There are many theories behind what makes people angry. Some people say that depression is anger turned inwards and others say that anger is an attempt to control someone else. What I truly care about with my clients is that they are simply able to identify when they are angry and how to respond accordingly. Typically the wiring inside of your head makes you react first and ask questions later. My job is for that gap (reaction and response time) to become shorter and shorter, and to help prevent these episodes from ever occurring

Becoming upset or angry is a fact of being human. These upsets are usually tied to three specific elements which are addressed while in session. One example being an unfulfilled expectation - that is, you thought something would turn out one way, yet it turned out another. This naturally makes one upset. How you deal with it is another matter altogether. This service will help you first become clear on the three elements of an upset, teach you ways to get out in front of automatic responses and make sure you have a new set of tools to better be able to manage such situations when they arise.

Because "lashing out" or difficulty managing anger can happen for many reasons, I tailor my approach to each person. I first try to understand why it is happening, and treat the underlying reasons. Some people have powerful emotions and need skills to manage them, others have a traumatic past that needs exploration, while others may have anxiety or depression and may feel extremely irritable, thus "snapping" at their loved ones.