Grief and Loss Counseling in Winters, CA.

Grief and loss are universal human experiences, though few of us are given the tools or the support we need to express our grief, or, when the time is right, make our way back to life after loss. We are each unique in our response to the loss of people and things that are dear to us. Nevertheless, it does not serve us well either to try to ignore our experiences of painful loss or to keep them at the center of our experience for the rest of our days. I help people move through their grief at a pace that makes sense to them, and I help them, over time, to value the many gifts from who or what has been lost for their ongoing experience of life.

When we lose someone we love, it feels like we have lost a part of ourselves. Something within us has been torn out, leaving a hole that we easily imagine will never heal. The pain can be profound, the feelings of helplessness, or regret, or guilt overwhelming. Having a partnership where you can talk through these feelings can make a huge difference not only in how quickly and how well you are able to move through the process of grieving, but also how you ultimately are able to frame the experience and your memories of the person lost into the narrative of your own self and life as you move forward. What you carry with you afterward is just as important as surviving the hurt of the loss.

Grief is a potential reaction to a loss of any kind whether through death, divorce, abandonment, separation, job loss, illness, disease diagnosis, kids leaving home, etc. Feelings of anger, resentment, shame, confusion, isolation or abandonment can result. Friends and family may not know what to say or how to provide support. A trained professional, who is profoundly sympathetic, respectful and empathetic, with the skills required to help one navigate through this difficult time, can be critical in helping one regain equilibrium.

Grief can be a difficulty beast to manage, a beast which can surface at any moment without warning and often comes in waves. When I’ve been grieving I’ve felt like I was in an emotional pong ball. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you to heal and leave the pain, loss, and grief in the past while holding on to the happy memories. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.

Grief and loss is a part of so much more than many recognize in every day life. Most folks are familiar with the Kubler-Ross stages, but processing grief is much more than those five stages. There are tasks of mourning that can be explored and expanded with support in therapy. There are secondary losses as a result of an initial loss. Grief impacts how open we feel to new relationships in our lives. I work with clients to help them understand their responses to grief, move through their grief and feelings through expressive arts and verbal processing.

The topic of Grief & Loss covers a broad spectrum from loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job...even change. It helps to work with a caring and empathetic counselor who has the life experience to really "get" where you are coming from, to help you move to the other side of things so you dispell those acute feelings of loss and sadness. In addition to my 10 years of private practice experience in this area, I spent several years as a volunteer with the Centre for Living with Dying in Santa Clara, working with people suffering from feelings associated with horrible loss. With gender identity issues, another specialty of mine, there is also often a sense of grief & loss to overcome.

I help clients navigate grief and loss by welcoming their deep feelings as a part of the process and navigating them carefully when they become overwhelming. Grief is a growth process like other difficult experiences, and I help clients find the resilience inside themselves to both honor their loss while getting stronger. By honoring the pain of the loss, we can move into a new phase of life that allows for thriving.

The loss of a loved one, colleague, friend, or pet can be devastating. Grief is the normal process of honoring the missed loved one, but sometimes we can feel overwhelmed or stuck with sadness, anger, regret, guilt, confusion, hopelessness... or a thousand (million?) other painful emotions. We help individuals and families journey through the difficult grieving process and ultimately find a day where they can find peace, comfort, and joy on this side of eternity.

Grief and loss comes in all forms, from the death of a pet, to moving, to the loss of a dream, to the death of a child or spouse, and more. My clients discover grief and loss are a process (which includes: shock/disbelief, anger, blaming, depression/sadness, bargaining, and denial), and how to move through that process to an increased state of acceptance. As their state of acceptance increases, my clients experience an increase in forgiveness, healing, freedom and hope for the present and future. My clients see how they can begin to feel good about their life and future again.

Grief work, including complex grief has become a specialty for me. One thing I have learned from my studies of Carl Jung and Sandra Ingerman is the importance of honoring your soul when you are grieving. I will hold the safe space for you to actively move through your grief so that you don't end up with depression or soul loss. Grief is often an initiation into sacred grounds where you come to understand your own soul and its needs. I am always honored to guide a client through their grief, for it can be a spiritual invocation, a catalyst for coming into more authenticity and self love. I offer gentle processes for complex grief, forgiveness work and creating healthy closure.