Grief and Loss Counseling in Van Nuys, CA.

Grief and loss is a very personal and individual experience. Finding one's words in relationship to a significant loss can be very helpful and healing. Traumatic loss, out of time loss and abandonment are specific losses that may need a sensitive and unique understanding. In a safe and empathic environment, psychotherapy for grief and loss can be a part of the healing process.

Although loss is an inevitable part of life, it can be debilitating. I provide a safe environment where you can process your painful feelings so that you can find satisfaction and pleasure in your life again. Many people can feel paralyzed after the loss of a loved one. Often times this paralysis is a conscious or unconscious attempt to hold on to the one that was lost. Moving forward can feel unbearable, like you are losing your loved one all over again. I can help you move forward and still feel a deep connection to your loved one so that you can go on to live a life that feels fulfilling and worth living.

In treating grief and loss, it is essential to facilitate a safe, respectful therapeutic interaction, in which clients are able to tell their story, process and express their feelings of grief, explore the meaning of their loss, and revise their relationship with the deceased. Additionally, using cognitive and behavioral therapy techniques enable people to develop skills for coping with the anxiety, depression, and difficult emotions that may arise as a result of the grieving process.

We all will experience grief and loss at some point in our lives. For some people, these losses can be taken in stride. For others, it becomes a watershed moment that is hard to move past. I have many years of experience working with clients who have experienced grief and loss. It is common to experience shock, overwhelming sadness, anger and disbelief after a loss has occured. Through the counseling process, I will help you come to terms with the loss and begin to move forward in your life. You can begin to find the meaning in your life and start to experience enjoyment and happiness once again.

Most of us are familiar with Elizabeth Kubler Ross' model of grief with the 5 stages. While this is helpful information, this model does not fit everyone. I practice from the Winslade and Hedtke model of grief which practices "Remembering". I find that using this model or this model in conjunction with the 5 stage grief model is helpful to helping clients explore loss and grief in finding a pathway forward that honors their own experiences.

We all will inevitably experience loss- i.e., the passing of a loved one, the end of a relationship, possibly significant life transitions. Grief and loss work focuses on developing effective and healthy coping mechanisms while moving through often challenging emotional states. Often individuals utilize maladaptive coping strategies, such as substances, alcohol and/or food to help minimize painful feelings. My philosophy is that while there are identifiable stages of grief and loss, they are not experienced sequentially. Navigating often confusing and competing emotions is necessary to ultimately heal.

Losing a loved one is extremely difficult and takes time to grieve. Loss can bring up intense feelings that cause problems in our lives, and sometimes paralyzes growth. There are also other types of losses that have a negative impact on us, and get in the way of personal progress. The goal of grief work is not to “get over it”, but rather to learn to live with the loss, finding a “new normal”.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Losing someone significant in your life can turn your world upside down. Sometimes we need a space to pause, reflect, regroup, and express the often-conflicting thoughts and feelings that have become overwhelming. In order to make sense of loss and move forward, we must "grieve well" by honoring our own very real and difficult feelings, as well as who or what we have lost. I will join you as you process your experience and assist in integrating the past, present and future during this very difficult time.

In compassionate surroundings, explore how you can heal in the grief process and honor those you love as an ongoing part of your story. I offer support during many different kinds of loss, knowing each person’s experience is singular and different. Individuals, couples and families go through transitions, loss and change. I can nurture connection and remembrance, listening deeply to what matters most.

Grief and loss is, unfortunately, a normal part of living. There is no single "correct" way to grieve: different cultures and even individuals from the same culture grieve differently. The only consistent feature is that grief takes time. The most effective thing anyone can do for someone grieving is to be there—to listen, to empathize, to walk along with the grief. There is no "fixing" grief. But counseling can help prevent normal grief from developing into major depression or other mental health conditions.

It is not a coincidence that losing a loved one feels like losing part of ourselves: I believe that is exactly what is happening. The people (or animals) that are closest to us help to make us the people we are. Whether through the end of a relationship, death, or moving away, the loss of someone dear to us presents a profound shift in our own life story, like a sudden storm on a calm sea. How do we navigate that? Do we sail on? Change direction? How do we even know where to begin?

In Grief & Loss Therapy with me, clients will find a safe and compassionate space to navigate their unique journey of healing. Drawing on evidence-based practices and a client-centered approach, I emphasize creating a supportive environment where individuals can explore their emotions, memories, and thoughts surrounding their loss. Together, we work towards understanding and processing grief, fostering resilience, and finding meaning amidst the pain. My goal is to empower clients to honor their grief, integrate their loss into their lives, and ultimately, rediscover hope and a sense of purpose moving forward.

My practice is centered around helping my clients find their own unique paths to healing from grief and loss. I use a combination of psychoanalytically-informed therapy and psychodynamic therapy to help people find the courage to be with and move through their pain. My goal is to provide comfort and support to my patients, while also helping them to uncover their hidden strengths and resources. I believe in the power of meaningful relationships and strive to create a safe and secure space for my patients to explore their feelings and experiences.

No one grieves exactly the same way. While some may grieve a loss within a short amount of time, others take much longer and both are normal. Problem areas may be an extended grief process, along with other conditions, such as depression, medical conditions, or many other life's stressors and transitions. There is no set schedule towards grieving as some individuals may show pain and suffering openly whereas others hide their sorrow but may show it in ways that even they are unaware, i.e., medical conditions, struggles in every day life projects, and inability to connect with others. Psychotherapy can help; I have a great deal of experience with grief and loss of loved ones and/or pets too

When someone is grieving, it is sometimes difficult to know what to say. People feel awkward and often are reduced to well-meaning platitudes. There is no magic wand to take away the feelings experienced in grief but having a place of safety and honesty can be an important step on the road to restoration. Being able to talk, weep, get angry and feel the feelings is often present in the early stages. The purpose of grief work is not about forgetting remembering with love in spite of the wounds it leaves behind.

Depression and anxiety are often a result of not having processed past difficult situations. We all experience loss, and we have a natural process involving our emotions which helps us recover. Most of us do not receive the permission or the teaching to help us use this natural process. Therapy can help work through "stuck" experiences so that we are freer to move forward in life with less restriction.

Grief is a normal reaction to any type of loss. The therapeutic objective is to help bereaved individuals recover from the emotional pain caused by the loss. Therapy goals consist of: recovery from the loss to help the client feel better, choosing a healthier approach to grieving, finding new meaning for living, reducing fears and unhealthy ways for dealing with the loss, and having the ability to enjoy memories and connecting to the deceased rather than resorting to isolation/depression. My therapeutic approach consists of educating about the stages of loss, working on issues complicating the grief process, validating emotions and teaching better coping mechanisms to handle the loss.

My approach to Grief & Loss is for the client to be aware of the 7 stages of grief and to have them understand that their feelings about their loss are normal. Many times when someone close to us dies, we question whether not crying, crying too much, or perhaps feeling angry at the world is OK. These are all normal feelings and reactions people have to loss. Once a client understands this, they can continue to grieve without having any questions about their own actions or feelings.

Grief and Loss is painful and it brings up so many different feelings and emotions. Working through the stages of Grief will help you better cope and navigate your life, your relationships, and it brings awareness and healing. I offer a supportive environment for you to work through your grief or loss. I can help you to find support systems and create a safe space to work through the pain. You don't have to go through a loss alone.

My years of experience as a psychologist has confirmed that there is no particular timetable for overcoming grief whether from a death of relative, partner, friend, pet or the more symbolic losses of empty nest, end of career, decisions not to have children or marry. I provide a safe environment for patients to explore the many feelings associated with grieving on their own terms and timetable.

Grief and loss comes in all forms, from the death of a pet, to moving, to the loss of a dream, to the death of a child or spouse, and more. My clients discover grief and loss are a process (which includes: shock/disbelief, anger, blaming, depression/sadness, bargaining, and denial), and how to move through that process to an increased state of acceptance. As their state of acceptance increases, my clients experience an increase in forgiveness, healing, freedom and hope for the present and future. My clients see how they can begin to feel good about their life and future again.

Grieving is a complex process. There is no right or wrong, ideal or non-ideal formulaic process to grieving. Grief is personal and varies from person to person. Allowing oneself to grief, while not loosing perspective on life is a difficult process and often requires assistance. This is where I can be of help. I will listen and provide guidance during the process of grief.

Grief is hard. Grief is natural. Animals grieve. Grief is something we feel deep in our bodies and can be disorienting and destabilizing. Grief brings up questions about who we are, the world, the existence or goodness of God, and purpose and futility of life. Dealing with grief, especially when the loss is traumatic and unexpected, requires a slow and tender space to allow the grief to move through our body and to settle in our hearts with warmth and memory. I am here to help you grieve the loss of your loved one, experience, health , future or even your beloved pet. .

Everyone grieves in their own way. You shouldn't feel you are out-of-control because you grieve in unexpected ways or for a longer peroid. Cultural and religious differences in grieving exist which are perfectly acceptible. A therapist must be sensitive to these issues. Grief is said to involve denial, anger, bargaining, deperession and acceptance. We will monitor your reactions to validate those feelings in session. Unhealthy reactions to loss do occur; self-medicating, and isolating oneslef for long periods, experiencing full-blown depression -- these behaviors, can prove detrimental. We will monitor your behaviors and mood changes and deal with negative conditions, should they occur.