Grief and Loss Counseling in Vallejo, CA.

In addition to working with grief from the loss of a loved one, I also help people experience and heal grief that is more subtle. Early life neglect, abandonment, as well as deep regrets about unfulfilled potentials or about hurts we have caused others- can be potent forms of grief. When not recognized or experienced, loss can be expressed as irritability, restlessness, addictions, frustrations, lethargy and other physical/emotional symptoms. Identifying loss and developing the capacity to experience and express grief (pain, sadness, remorse..) is a powerful healing- and can transform our self and our body.

Grief is a potential reaction to a loss of any kind whether through death, divorce, abandonment, separation, job loss, illness, disease diagnosis, kids leaving home, etc. Feelings of anger, resentment, shame, confusion, isolation or abandonment can result. Friends and family may not know what to say or how to provide support. A trained professional, who is profoundly sympathetic, respectful and empathetic, with the skills required to help one navigate through this difficult time, can be critical in helping one regain equilibrium.

When we lose someone we love, it feels like we have lost a part of ourselves. Something within us has been torn out, leaving a hole that we easily imagine will never heal. The pain can be profound, the feelings of helplessness, or regret, or guilt overwhelming. Having a partnership where you can talk through these feelings can make a huge difference not only in how quickly and how well you are able to move through the process of grieving, but also how you ultimately are able to frame the experience and your memories of the person lost into the narrative of your own self and life as you move forward. What you carry with you afterward is just as important as surviving the hurt of the loss.

So much of my experience as a therapist has roots in supporting clients with grief and loss. Grief is a process, and I can guide you through each phase of grief. We all grieve in our own time, but it's best to do so with a therapist. By allowing the feelings (anger, sadness, frustration, fear, sorrow) to flow through you, the grieving process will happen at a healthier pace. If you feel lost, alone, and struggling to process a loss, I can be your guide. Facing hospice, palliative care, or the loss of a loved one suddenly can each have its own special set of challenges. This is a personal journey, and I am here to offer you support, understanding, and a safe place.

Grief and loss is a part of so much more than many recognize in every day life. Most folks are familiar with the Kubler-Ross stages, but processing grief is much more than those five stages. There are tasks of mourning that can be explored and expanded with support in therapy. There are secondary losses as a result of an initial loss. Grief impacts how open we feel to new relationships in our lives. I work with clients to help them understand their responses to grief, move through their grief and feelings through expressive arts and verbal processing.

I help clients navigate grief and loss by welcoming their deep feelings as a part of the process and navigating them carefully when they become overwhelming. Grief is a growth process like other difficult experiences, and I help clients find the resilience inside themselves to both honor their loss while getting stronger. By honoring the pain of the loss, we can move into a new phase of life that allows for thriving.

The topic of Grief & Loss covers a broad spectrum from loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job...even change. It helps to work with a caring and empathetic counselor who has the life experience to really "get" where you are coming from, to help you move to the other side of things so you dispell those acute feelings of loss and sadness. In addition to my 10 years of private practice experience in this area, I spent several years as a volunteer with the Centre for Living with Dying in Santa Clara, working with people suffering from feelings associated with horrible loss. With gender identity issues, another specialty of mine, there is also often a sense of grief & loss to overcome.