Grief and Loss Counseling in Santa Barbara, CA.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

My practice is centered around helping my clients find their own unique paths to healing from grief and loss. I use a combination of psychoanalytically-informed therapy and psychodynamic therapy to help people find the courage to be with and move through their pain. My goal is to provide comfort and support to my patients, while also helping them to uncover their hidden strengths and resources. I believe in the power of meaningful relationships and strive to create a safe and secure space for my patients to explore their feelings and experiences.

Grief is hard. Grief is natural. Animals grieve. Grief is something we feel deep in our bodies and can be disorienting and destabilizing. Grief brings up questions about who we are, the world, the existence or goodness of God, and purpose and futility of life. Dealing with grief, especially when the loss is traumatic and unexpected, requires a slow and tender space to allow the grief to move through our body and to settle in our hearts with warmth and memory. I am here to help you grieve the loss of your loved one, experience, health , future or even your beloved pet. .

Grief and loss effects all of us to a greater or lesser extent at some point in our lives. I wholeheartedly believe in the importance of the grieving process, and never rush my clients through it. When we grieve our losses we honor them. I often use EMDR to facilitate the grieving, and also use the Kubler-Ross stages of grief to help the client understand what he or she is going through. Clients come out of their grieving process not only with a greater understanding of their loss, but also of themselves.

I help clients navigate grief and loss by welcoming their deep feelings as a part of the process and navigating them carefully when they become overwhelming. Grief is a growth process like other difficult experiences, and I help clients find the resilience inside themselves to both honor their loss while getting stronger. By honoring the pain of the loss, we can move into a new phase of life that allows for thriving.

Grief and loss comes in all forms, from the death of a pet, to moving, to the loss of a dream, to the death of a child or spouse, and more. My clients discover grief and loss are a process (which includes: shock/disbelief, anger, blaming, depression/sadness, bargaining, and denial), and how to move through that process to an increased state of acceptance. As their state of acceptance increases, my clients experience an increase in forgiveness, healing, freedom and hope for the present and future. My clients see how they can begin to feel good about their life and future again.

Grief is natural. It is our human response to change or loss. It can be very painful. How the pain of grief moves through the body, mind, and soul is unique to each person. Sometimes we don't know why we feel empty, hurt, or sad. The process of gently exploring and sharing in a supportive environment helps us to really feel the feelings so they can pass through. We can then slowly begin to move forward again.

I use an empathetic and compassionate approach combined with a range of specialized therapeutic techniques, including sensorimotor psychotherapy and internal family systems, to address Grief & Loss. Together we will master the intricacies of the grief process to enable a personalized and profound healing journey for those grappling with one of life's most challenging transitions. Clients will find solace and strength in my care, and I will create a safe space for exploration and growth, fostering resilience and understanding during grief. My methods not only alleviate the immediate pain of loss but also nurture a path towards long-term emotional well-being and empowerment.

Losing someone close to us can have a deep impact on how we act in the world and also how we enter relationships afterward. In working with grief, I gently support clients to express their feelings and also to transform them in a healthy way. Clients often find using mindfulness and expressive therapies such as drawing, metaphor, sand tray, and poetry helpful when grieving because they can help to regulate the emotional centers of the brain. Depending on the age of the client, I may discuss the stages of grief and support the healing elements of each stage. I will work with you or your child to find what is most supportive to moving forward.