Grief and Loss Counseling in Santa Barbara, CA.

Losing someone close to us can have a deep impact on how we act in the world and also how we enter relationships afterward. In working with grief, I gently support clients to express their feelings and also to transform them in a healthy way. Clients often find using mindfulness and expressive therapies such as drawing, metaphor, sand tray, and poetry helpful when grieving because they can help to regulate the emotional centers of the brain. Depending on the age of the client, I may discuss the stages of grief and support the healing elements of each stage. I will work with you or your child to find what is most supportive to moving forward.

Grief and loss comes in many shapes and forms and can take a toll on various aspects of your life. Processing grief and loss takes time and is different for everyone but doesn’t have to be done alone. I will offer support, empathy, and a safe space for you to process your emotions openly. Together we will get through this difficult time in your life. You are not alone.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Grief and loss effects all of us to a greater or lesser extent at some point in our lives. I wholeheartedly believe in the importance of the grieving process, and never rush my clients through it. When we grieve our losses we honor them. I often use EMDR to facilitate the grieving, and also use the Kubler-Ross stages of grief to help the client understand what he or she is going through. Clients come out of their grieving process not only with a greater understanding of their loss, but also of themselves.

Free 30 minute video call - Grief & Loss are normal experiences in life. Yet, they are often overwhelming - combining experiences of sadness, fear, anxiety, surprise, disorientation, loneliness, confusion & more. Grief is truly not meant to be experienced alone. The guidance of a caring therapist & the support of loving friends, family & community is invaluable and essential during deep grief. Grief takes time, comes in waves and needs expression in multiple ways, through tears, writing, talking, releasing sounds, connecting to one's spirituality or religion and even through creative expression such as music, painting or poetry, all of which I can guide you through as your grief counselor.

Grief can be a difficulty beast to manage, a beast which can surface at any moment without warning and often comes in waves. When I’ve been grieving I’ve felt like I was in an emotional pong ball. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you to heal and leave the pain, loss, and grief in the past while holding on to the happy memories. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.

I use an empathetic and compassionate approach combined with a range of specialized therapeutic techniques, including sensorimotor psychotherapy and internal family systems, to address Grief & Loss. Together we will master the intricacies of the grief process to enable a personalized and profound healing journey for those grappling with one of life's most challenging transitions. Clients will find solace and strength in my care, and I will create a safe space for exploration and growth, fostering resilience and understanding during grief. My methods not only alleviate the immediate pain of loss but also nurture a path towards long-term emotional well-being and empowerment.

Grief is natural. It is our human response to change or loss. It can be very painful. How the pain of grief moves through the body, mind, and soul is unique to each person. Sometimes we don't know why we feel empty, hurt, or sad. The process of gently exploring and sharing in a supportive environment helps us to really feel the feelings so they can pass through. We can then slowly begin to move forward again.

When we lose someone we love, it feels like we have lost a part of ourselves. Something within us has been torn out, leaving a hole that we easily imagine will never heal. The pain can be profound, the feelings of helplessness, or regret, or guilt overwhelming. Having a partnership where you can talk through these feelings can make a huge difference not only in how quickly and how well you are able to move through the process of grieving, but also how you ultimately are able to frame the experience and your memories of the person lost into the narrative of your own self and life as you move forward. What you carry with you afterward is just as important as surviving the hurt of the loss.