Grief and Loss Counseling in Montecito, CA.

Everyone experiences losses in their life. Loss is a part of life. From the loss of someone close to us, a family member, or even a pet, all of us are susceptible to feelings of deep overwhelming depression and grief around losing those people and relationships that are important to us. Finding the motivation to move forward, and the will to live your life again in a new way can be difficult challenge on your own. I've helped many people work through depression and grief and I am happy to help you if that's issue for you. If you or someone you know is experiencing depression, I have over 18 years of clinical experience successfully helping people get back on their feet and enjoy life again.

My practice is centered around helping my clients find their own unique paths to healing from grief and loss. I use a combination of psychoanalytically-informed therapy and psychodynamic therapy to help people find the courage to be with and move through their pain. My goal is to provide comfort and support to my patients, while also helping them to uncover their hidden strengths and resources. I believe in the power of meaningful relationships and strive to create a safe and secure space for my patients to explore their feelings and experiences.

Most of us are familiar with Elizabeth Kubler Ross' model of grief with the 5 stages. While this is helpful information, this model does not fit everyone. I practice from the Winslade and Hedtke model of grief which practices "Remembering". I find that using this model or this model in conjunction with the 5 stage grief model is helpful to helping clients explore loss and grief in finding a pathway forward that honors their own experiences.

Losing someone close to us can have a deep impact on how we act in the world and also how we enter relationships afterward. In working with grief, I gently support clients to express their feelings and also to transform them in a healthy way. Clients often find using mindfulness and expressive therapies such as drawing, metaphor, sand tray, and poetry helpful when grieving because they can help to regulate the emotional centers of the brain. Depending on the age of the client, I may discuss the stages of grief and support the healing elements of each stage. I will work with you or your child to find what is most supportive to moving forward.

When you lose something or someone important or close to you, it may be difficult to make sense of life or to feel that others can relate to or understand what you are going through. If you need someone to talk to about what happened, I am here for you. I understand that sadness is often something that shouldn't be fixed, but embraced. I also specialize in helping people who were hurt or abused by the deceased. Grief and Loss is a painful time of life, one that every human being goes through. You are not alone. I will come alongside you through the anger, loneliness, fear, shock, and panic. In the middle of the grief, the way forward can bring hope, strength, peace and freedom from guilt.

EXPERIENCING THE INTENSE PAIN OF LOSS? Whether it is due to the loss of a loved one, a job or something that means a lot to you, I can help! In counseling you can work through the feelings of sadness, grief, emptiness, regret, anger, guilt, frustration… so that you can come to terms with unfinished businesses and move on to healing, recovery, growth and empowerment. Don't hesitate to call me for a free telephone consultation session.

Grief is natural. It is our human response to change or loss. It can be very painful. How the pain of grief moves through the body, mind, and soul is unique to each person. Sometimes we don't know why we feel empty, hurt, or sad. The process of gently exploring and sharing in a supportive environment helps us to really feel the feelings so they can pass through. We can then slowly begin to move forward again.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Grief is hard. Grief is natural. Animals grieve. Grief is something we feel deep in our bodies and can be disorienting and destabilizing. Grief brings up questions about who we are, the world, the existence or goodness of God, and purpose and futility of life. Dealing with grief, especially when the loss is traumatic and unexpected, requires a slow and tender space to allow the grief to move through our body and to settle in our hearts with warmth and memory. I am here to help you grieve the loss of your loved one, experience, health , future or even your beloved pet. .

So much of my experience as a therapist has roots in supporting clients with grief and loss. Grief is a process, and I can guide you through each phase of grief. We all grieve in our own time, but it's best to do so with a therapist. By allowing the feelings (anger, sadness, frustration, fear, sorrow) to flow through you, the grieving process will happen at a healthier pace. If you feel lost, alone, and struggling to process a loss, I can be your guide. Facing hospice, palliative care, or the loss of a loved one suddenly can each have its own special set of challenges. This is a personal journey, and I am here to offer you support, understanding, and a safe place.

Grief and loss comes in all forms, from the death of a pet, to moving, to the loss of a dream, to the death of a child or spouse, and more. My clients discover grief and loss are a process (which includes: shock/disbelief, anger, blaming, depression/sadness, bargaining, and denial), and how to move through that process to an increased state of acceptance. As their state of acceptance increases, my clients experience an increase in forgiveness, healing, freedom and hope for the present and future. My clients see how they can begin to feel good about their life and future again.

Grief can be a difficulty beast to manage, a beast which can surface at any moment without warning and often comes in waves. When I’ve been grieving I’ve felt like I was in an emotional pong ball. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you to heal and leave the pain, loss, and grief in the past while holding on to the happy memories. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.

Grief and loss effects all of us to a greater or lesser extent at some point in our lives. I wholeheartedly believe in the importance of the grieving process, and never rush my clients through it. When we grieve our losses we honor them. I often use EMDR to facilitate the grieving, and also use the Kubler-Ross stages of grief to help the client understand what he or she is going through. Clients come out of their grieving process not only with a greater understanding of their loss, but also of themselves.