Family Counseling Services in Valley Center, CA.

Families come to me in a state of chaos and upon successfult treatment, leave with structure, stability, and love. I will teach you how to use a simple method of communication to put a quick end to "too long" arguments... and that's just the first session. Parents can regain control over their disruptive children once they learn my techniques of "seeing" and "guiding." Put an end to being too critical of or spoiling your kids. Contact Thomas Schmierer, Catholic Therapist, LMFT today!

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Addiction recovery is not a solo journey. Individuals closest to us often take on roles to adapt to our behaviors. It can be difficult to accept that everyone's role must adapt and evolve, not just the addict, in order for recovery to work. When an individual is walking the path from addiction to recovery, spouses and family are also experiencing a complicated transformation. Family counseling can help ease this transformation in a healthy, positive, productive way for all involved.

I specialize in helping families find harmony within the home. I have extensive experience working with individuals, couples, families, and children of all ages. Whether you are dealing with a family conflict, a difficult transition, or a new challenge, I am here to help. My practice focuses on providing a safe and supportive environment for all family members. I will work with you to identify the underlying causes of the conflict and develop strategies for improving family relationships. I believe that all family dynamics are unique and strive to provide each family with the attention and care they need.

Family therapy is a wonderful modality to assist families in improving communication, interaction, respect, support or addressing a concern that is impacting the family unit. Family therapy can increase understanding and assist family members in functioning at their optimal level and achieving their individual and family goals. Family therapy can help members and families attain healing needed to process difficult situations and trauma by improving communication, structure and boundaries.

Families can be the source of tremendous joy and also the source of tremendous pain. When things are feeling out of control at home or in your extended family, members often become depressed and angry. Emotionally Focused Family Therapy can help transform negative interaction patterns and restore connections. Your family can be a safe place, a place where each member is valued, loved and appreciated for their unique qualities. If you are a family with a Special Needs child, you have specific challenges that can be helped by an experienced therapist. You do not need to navigate this difficult road alone!

I believe that as we grow up we are shaped by our relationships; this starts from the time we are little and continues for the rest of our lives. Through these relationships we are also shaped by society. In being shaped we create various meaning from our experiences as well as receiving and giving instructions on how to live. When we form new relationships of any kind, this gets challenged; coming together and finding a path forward that celebrates all involved is the key to success.

I practice EFFT - Emotionally Focused Family Therapy whose goal is to help families in their relationships to become stronger and safer. We all have conflict from time to time with those we love. What matters most is to be able to have healthy repair with each other to heal and forgive and move forward in healthy, loving, lasting relationships with those who mean the most.

I work within a family framework, but I do not treat families as part of traditional "family therapy." This means that if you are a parent and you struggle with your child's behavior, I can help you learn techniques to manage the behavior better. I have extensive experience working with parents of children with autism and other mental health disorders that can make parenting extremely challenging. There is no shame in asking for support. I can help with creating a parenting plan, I can help with co-parenting after divorce, and I can help parents who care for their own aging relatives. We truly live in the "sandwich generation" where family can grow far.

I use a family systems approach in my therapy, so having family members in the room, in my opinion, is the most efficient route towards healing and growth in individuals. I encourage clients to address relationships that are causing distress in their lives and work towards healthy differentiation of self. This can be done in individual therapy as well, but is more effective when all members of the relationship are present.

ARE YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS IN CONFLICTS OR CRISIS? Counseling helps! I take a unique and effective approach to family therapy- addressing the needs and clarifying the roles of every individual in the system so that everyone knows where they are, where the family is and take the steps they need to a healthier and happier family. Call for a free telephone consult.

It's an often avoided topic, but the truth is that addiction is a family disease. By that I mean it effects the whole family on a deeper level than one might first assume. Behaviors, coping skills, financial decisions, and much more - they're all altered based on the presence of addiction in the family. I work with family compositions and intimate relationships of all types to foster understanding, healing and growth for everyone involved. Without the family or significant other participating, recovery for the addict becomes much more difficult and thus unlikely. Including your loved one in your treatment may terrify you, and it's ok if it does. When you're ready, we can start at your pace.

Family Therapy can offer simple solutions to complex problems that undermine the strength of the family. With the insight and support of a trained therapist you can see self defeating behavior and learn ways to improve your life and the life of family members. Rebuilding the connective tissues of love, intimacy and communication contribute to being happy now rather than being stuck in patterns of resentments, sadness and fears that make happy relationships difficult. Learning to trust yourself and other family members strengthens the bonds that make relationships both meaningful and rewarding. Sometimes going back to the basics of kindness and respect create the profound changes we want.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently dysregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dystunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

Families engaging in therapy with me will find a compassionate and strong leader who understands the profound stress that family conflicts and perpetual problems can create. My approach is centered on guiding families through their tensions and difficulties, providing a structured and supportive environment where each member feels heard and valued. By focusing on your family's unique dynamics and challenges, I facilitate open communication and collaboration, leading to practical and lasting solutions. Clients will leave with a renewed sense of connection and the tools to foster a more harmonious family life, turning seemingly insurmountable problems into opportunities for growth.