Family Counseling Services in Soquel, CA.

Counseling for children and teens, is primarily accomplished within the context of family therapy, where mom, dad, siblings or others may be involved in various sessions. Families today find themselves facing issues that in past generations were nearly non-existent. With the divorce rate still raging at 50% for first marriages, and 70-80% for subsequent marriages, the American family unit is struggling. Divorce Recovery, Blending Families with step-parents and step-siblings of all sorts, Parenting Issues, and School Issues for the children, are just a few Family Therapy concerns. The goal here is to strengthen the family unit with bonding and security. See my webpage on Therapy/Family

An intervention is a very supportive and loving way to get help for a family member who is struggling with addiction, an eating disorder, or other untreated mental illness. By taking part in the intervention process, your family group will better understand addiction or mental illness, gain knowledge of chemical dependency or mental health resources, and clarify your feelings and boundaries. I will work toward helping you break through the addict’s or mentally ill person’s denial and increasing his or her treatment willingness so that he or she can then immediately enter the appropriate level of treatment. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.

Families engaging in therapy with me will find a compassionate and strong leader who understands the profound stress that family conflicts and perpetual problems can create. My approach is centered on guiding families through their tensions and difficulties, providing a structured and supportive environment where each member feels heard and valued. By focusing on your family's unique dynamics and challenges, I facilitate open communication and collaboration, leading to practical and lasting solutions. Clients will leave with a renewed sense of connection and the tools to foster a more harmonious family life, turning seemingly insurmountable problems into opportunities for growth.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I work within a family framework, but I do not treat families as part of traditional "family therapy." This means that if you are a parent and you struggle with your child's behavior, I can help you learn techniques to manage the behavior better. I have extensive experience working with parents of children with autism and other mental health disorders that can make parenting extremely challenging. There is no shame in asking for support. I can help with creating a parenting plan, I can help with co-parenting after divorce, and I can help parents who care for their own aging relatives. We truly live in the "sandwich generation" where family can grow far.

Said one grieving mother, "Being estranged from your children and grandchildren is harder than surviving suicide. It's like experiencing a funeral, but they are not dead." Said another, "Many of my friends are excitedly anticipating visits from their relatives. They are shopping for them, planning meals and activities. I am truly happy for them. I want the same for myself, but I can't have it..." I work with parents and their adult children who have become estranged. My goal is to bring about reconciliation. If you have a need in this area, please feel free to call me to discuss your situation.

As a family therapist, trained in the modality of family systems, I work with the entire family and sometimes will see individual members, couples, the children, the teens and then bring all family members back together for joint sessions, depending on what will serve all the most at any given times. Often times families need to regain the trust and remember their love for one another which can be achieved through family sessions in which every one has a chance to speak honestly, respectfully and to be truly heard in a safe and comfortable environment with the help of a skilled therapist.

Family relationships can be stressful and challenging. There may be anger, arguments, grief & loss, mental or physical illness, unresolved trauma, abuse, neglect, betrayal, financial or occupational challenges that create distress in the family system. Healthy family members have open, honest and compassionate communication. They hear, know and understand each other. They take responsibility and are accountable for their impact on each other. They show love and care through affection, attention, appreciation, being of service, spending quality time with and being there for each other. I guide you in developing the skills, qualities and habits needed to get your family to a better place!

I use a family systems approach in my therapy, so having family members in the room, in my opinion, is the most efficient route towards healing and growth in individuals. I encourage clients to address relationships that are causing distress in their lives and work towards healthy differentiation of self. This can be done in individual therapy as well, but is more effective when all members of the relationship are present.

Family is the foundation for a happy and healthy society. Family is important! That is why each time I work with a family (and that doesn't have to be every family member), I think of myself as contributing to society in a most profound way one family at a time. Family work is challenging, too. When I work with a family, I like to have as many family members possible in session, so I can see the interactions and family dynamics. Making little changes can bring about big results.

Imagine a family as a tree with branches, roots, trunk representing parts of the immediate and extended family. When working with families, all elements are considered. Usually there is a request for family therapy due to one of it's members in crisis, often a child. However, when an analysis of need is done it becomes apparent that more than one member of the family needs help in adjusting, growing and learning new behaviours. Clients contact me for a variety of reasons: to improve communications, solve family problems, support in special situations such as death, divorce, marriage, illness, child or adolescent issues.

Whether you are a new family dealing with marital issues and toddlerhood, or a blended family with teens, or a middle-aged child of an aging parent, you have the need for tools and understanding of the dynamics you are dealing with. We offer couples and families empathic support that helps sort out the conflicts and needs of each member of the family. Sometimes it may seem that one family member is the problem. What we find oftentimes, is that each one has a part to play. Simply having a skilled facilitator helps bring the difficulties into a new light of understanding. We use Non-violent Communication, art therapies, and somatic methods to support healing and resolution

Family therapy can be highly effective for conflict resolution, healing relationships, and making clear agreements that work for everyone. Many families feel more connected during, as well as after, effective counseling. Family therapy is a safe place for each family member to express their views and experience without judgement. It is important to discuss the issues that "nobody talks about" and this enables each family member to be more authentic within their family as well as in other relationships (i.e., work, school, etc.).