Family Counseling Services in Santa Barbara, CA.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Families engaging in therapy with me will find a compassionate and strong leader who understands the profound stress that family conflicts and perpetual problems can create. My approach is centered on guiding families through their tensions and difficulties, providing a structured and supportive environment where each member feels heard and valued. By focusing on your family's unique dynamics and challenges, I facilitate open communication and collaboration, leading to practical and lasting solutions. Clients will leave with a renewed sense of connection and the tools to foster a more harmonious family life, turning seemingly insurmountable problems into opportunities for growth.

When you come to see me with your loved ones I will assist you in strengthen your bond and enhance your communication skills. My approach helps you to communicate your needs and wants effectively, without blame, so your vis-a- vis, be this a child, parent of your partner can actually hear you. I often will suggest that families increase their 'fun quotient' before we tackle what is not working; it makes the hard work go easy. I am aware that some family issues involve high conflict, specially if divorce or separation is involved. My first step then, is to talk about appropriate boundaries between family members, also I will educate you about parental alienation and its danger on the child.

I use a family systems approach in my therapy, so having family members in the room, in my opinion, is the most efficient route towards healing and growth in individuals. I encourage clients to address relationships that are causing distress in their lives and work towards healthy differentiation of self. This can be done in individual therapy as well, but is more effective when all members of the relationship are present.

I have spent decades supporting children and families. Families come to therapy for many reasons such as behavioral concerns, communication issues, recovery from substance abuse or a trauma, becoming a blended family, and more. Depending on the ages of family members and the overall situation, I may suggest certain family therapy activities, play therapy, communication development, bond strengthening, and certain parenting skills. Each situation is unique, and we will work together to find what supports your family best.

I specialize in helping families find harmony within the home. I have extensive experience working with individuals, couples, families, and children of all ages. Whether you are dealing with a family conflict, a difficult transition, or a new challenge, I am here to help. My practice focuses on providing a safe and supportive environment for all family members. I will work with you to identify the underlying causes of the conflict and develop strategies for improving family relationships. I believe that all family dynamics are unique and strive to provide each family with the attention and care they need.

When working with children and youth, the therapist cannot ignore the family system in which the child lives. I work with parents in multiple ways to help support youth in treatment, which may include separate parent sessions, co-parenting sessions, systemic family therapy, or Filial Therapy, a play therapy practice that coaches and guides parents in special play sessions with their child to decrease unwanted behaviors, improve relationships and communication, increase the child's emotional vocabulary, and increase the child's self-esteem.