Family Counseling Services in Montecito, CA.

Family issues whether it be conflicts with other family member, or a behavioral or health issue can be difficult. Therapy can be a great way to address the issues you and your family are facing. I create peace within families by helping them listen to each other, and learn skills to speak their truth while respecting each other. Families are about connection and love. Whatever pain or difficulty you are experiencing in your family, I can help you to resolve it.

Family relationships can be stressful and challenging. There may be anger, arguments, grief & loss, mental or physical illness, unresolved trauma, abuse, neglect, betrayal, financial or occupational challenges that create distress in the family system. Healthy family members have open, honest and compassionate communication. They hear, know and understand each other. They take responsibility and are accountable for their impact on each other. They show love and care through affection, attention, appreciation, being of service, spending quality time with and being there for each other. I guide you in developing the skills, qualities and habits needed to get your family to a better place!

I believe that as we grow up we are shaped by our relationships; this starts from the time we are little and continues for the rest of our lives. Through these relationships we are also shaped by society. In being shaped we create various meaning from our experiences as well as receiving and giving instructions on how to live. When we form new relationships of any kind, this gets challenged; coming together and finding a path forward that celebrates all involved is the key to success.

When you come to see me with your loved ones I will assist you in strengthen your bond and enhance your communication skills. My approach helps you to communicate your needs and wants effectively, without blame, so your vis-a- vis, be this a child, parent of your partner can actually hear you. I often will suggest that families increase their 'fun quotient' before we tackle what is not working; it makes the hard work go easy. I am aware that some family issues involve high conflict, specially if divorce or separation is involved. My first step then, is to talk about appropriate boundaries between family members, also I will educate you about parental alienation and its danger on the child.

I use a family systems approach in my therapy, so having family members in the room, in my opinion, is the most efficient route towards healing and growth in individuals. I encourage clients to address relationships that are causing distress in their lives and work towards healthy differentiation of self. This can be done in individual therapy as well, but is more effective when all members of the relationship are present.

I have spent decades supporting children and families. Families come to therapy for many reasons such as behavioral concerns, communication issues, recovery from substance abuse or a trauma, becoming a blended family, and more. Depending on the ages of family members and the overall situation, I may suggest certain family therapy activities, play therapy, communication development, bond strengthening, and certain parenting skills. Each situation is unique, and we will work together to find what supports your family best.

I specialize in helping families find harmony within the home. I have extensive experience working with individuals, couples, families, and children of all ages. Whether you are dealing with a family conflict, a difficult transition, or a new challenge, I am here to help. My practice focuses on providing a safe and supportive environment for all family members. I will work with you to identify the underlying causes of the conflict and develop strategies for improving family relationships. I believe that all family dynamics are unique and strive to provide each family with the attention and care they need.

I work within a family framework, but I do not treat families as part of traditional "family therapy." This means that if you are a parent and you struggle with your child's behavior, I can help you learn techniques to manage the behavior better. I have extensive experience working with parents of children with autism and other mental health disorders that can make parenting extremely challenging. There is no shame in asking for support. I can help with creating a parenting plan, I can help with co-parenting after divorce, and I can help parents who care for their own aging relatives. We truly live in the "sandwich generation" where family can grow far.

ARE YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS IN CONFLICTS OR CRISIS? Counseling helps! I take a unique and effective approach to family therapy- addressing the needs and clarifying the roles of every individual in the system so that everyone knows where they are, where the family is and take the steps they need to a healthier and happier family. Call for a free telephone consult.

When working with children and youth, the therapist cannot ignore the family system in which the child lives. I work with parents in multiple ways to help support youth in treatment, which may include separate parent sessions, co-parenting sessions, systemic family therapy, or Filial Therapy, a play therapy practice that coaches and guides parents in special play sessions with their child to decrease unwanted behaviors, improve relationships and communication, increase the child's emotional vocabulary, and increase the child's self-esteem.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Imagine a family as a tree with branches, roots, trunk representing parts of the immediate and extended family. When working with families, all elements are considered. Usually there is a request for family therapy due to one of it's members in crisis, often a child. However, when an analysis of need is done it becomes apparent that more than one member of the family needs help in adjusting, growing and learning new behaviours. Clients contact me for a variety of reasons: to improve communications, solve family problems, support in special situations such as death, divorce, marriage, illness, child or adolescent issues.