Family Counseling Services in Contra Costa Centre, CA.

I found that the skills that my Couples learn from me: how to speak and listen in a way that allows real intimacy to digest on the gut level is extremely useful in working with families. Many times family members love each other but that love does not digest. Often there is a child or teenager that is acting out and when the parents learn how to connect with their child on a deeper level, the need for the acting out behaviors goes away. Parents sometimes need help being on the same team to BOTH provide the necessary structure (rules) AND do it in a way so the child (or teen) digests the love. Your children appreciate the rules from a loving team (even if they pretend they hate them)!

Families engaging in therapy with me will find a compassionate and strong leader who understands the profound stress that family conflicts and perpetual problems can create. My approach is centered on guiding families through their tensions and difficulties, providing a structured and supportive environment where each member feels heard and valued. By focusing on your family's unique dynamics and challenges, I facilitate open communication and collaboration, leading to practical and lasting solutions. Clients will leave with a renewed sense of connection and the tools to foster a more harmonious family life, turning seemingly insurmountable problems into opportunities for growth.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently dysregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dystunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

Conflicts in a family can become so routine that it may be difficult for you to determine which issues are important and which have become automatic battles. I can provide your family a safe place to work through this with an objective and neutral perspective that allows everyone to hear and everyone to be heard. Frequent arguing, nagging, complaining - all intensify the stress of daily life. Your family can learn to live harmoniously - not perfectly without ever having conflict - but without the need for "winners" and "losers" in constant tug of wars. It is exhausting and unhealthy to live with tension in your home. Call me today and let's begin easing that tension and regaining calm.

I specialize in helping families find harmony within the home. I have extensive experience working with individuals, couples, families, and children of all ages. Whether you are dealing with a family conflict, a difficult transition, or a new challenge, I am here to help. My practice focuses on providing a safe and supportive environment for all family members. I will work with you to identify the underlying causes of the conflict and develop strategies for improving family relationships. I believe that all family dynamics are unique and strive to provide each family with the attention and care they need.

Family counseling is designed to strengthen the bonds within the relationship. Many times families will be struggling with day-to-day living (small problems will start to add up to larger problems). We tend to fall into ruts of the way we do things and sometimes that creates resentments and conflict that are not communicated in a way that helps others within the family to understand your concerns. By bringing everyone together. we can work on communication, division of labor, finances, and other issues that may be making home life not the sanctuary that we all want our homes to be.

Parent-Child therapy focuses on bringing awareness, attunement, and empathy into the family system. As a mother I know it can seem as if problems at home are because of one individual, but this is never the case. We are all part of a greater system. The goal of family systems therapy is to create a peaceful and harmonious space where everyone in the system can feel heard and understood. In addition to working towards creating more space for loving each other and less time for unproductive conflict, I also provide psychoeducation and practical parenting tools for lasting and dynamic change.

Imagine a family as a tree with branches, roots, trunk representing parts of the immediate and extended family. When working with families, all elements are considered. Usually there is a request for family therapy due to one of it's members in crisis, often a child. However, when an analysis of need is done it becomes apparent that more than one member of the family needs help in adjusting, growing and learning new behaviours. Clients contact me for a variety of reasons: to improve communications, solve family problems, support in special situations such as death, divorce, marriage, illness, child or adolescent issues.

I work within a family framework, but I do not treat families as part of traditional "family therapy." This means that if you are a parent and you struggle with your child's behavior, I can help you learn techniques to manage the behavior better. I have extensive experience working with parents of children with autism and other mental health disorders that can make parenting extremely challenging. There is no shame in asking for support. I can help with creating a parenting plan, I can help with co-parenting after divorce, and I can help parents who care for their own aging relatives. We truly live in the "sandwich generation" where family can grow far.

I particularly enjoy working with pairs within a family system—a mother and daughter for instance or siblings. Family members who are longing to be closer to each other and having trouble doing it, or wanting to better communicate. This isn't about trying to fix another person or convince them of our views. In therapy, getting to deeper levels of empathy and understanding with the people closest to us can solve a lot of issues on its own, building respect and tolerance for differences, and a gratifying sense of connection. It takes courage, effort, and the willingness to lay down our swords and shields, but it is worth it.

I specialize in online parent coaching with the goal of helping you and your family have a closer more intimate relationship. After 11 years of working with children and families, I have concluded that this is the most effective way I can support families because you parents are the leaders of your home. If I can empower you through my knowledge and experience to implement some strategies at home, you can achieve your goals for your family. The support I provide will be sufficient for many families, but there are some situations that could benefit from the in-vivo coaching and direction that in person family therapy provides. Call me for a free 15 minute consultation about your needs

Our family lives can be tremendously gratifying and enriching and a source of invaluable support and belonging. They can also become tense and chaotic at times, especially when under the influences of acute or chronic stress. Such responses are understandable, but you may need the support and guidance of a skilled therapist from time to time, especially if you are experiencing persistent conflicts that you cannot resolve or mediate on your own. Psychotherapy can help you relate to your family with more ease or resolve even long-standing problems. If you wish to explore how I could help with your particular situation, please call me at 415-533-9724. I would be happy to talk with you.

By the time a parent is considering counseling for their child, they may have experienced a variety of emotions ranging from: sadness, fear, shame or anger. It can be very helpful to have a neutral professional to help teach the young person and their families how to learn different ways to think, behave, and communicate. Psychotherapy can help children, adolescents, and their families in a variety of ways – getting emotional support, resolving conflicts between family members, and trying out new solutions to old problems. 


Family therapy looks at the entire family system—parents, children, extended family members—to identify strengths and problematic behaviours. I collaborate with families on strategies for utilizing their own capabilities for resolving problems, and on developing effective communication and problem-solving skills for preventing conflicts. I specialize in working with families of teenagers, which is an age that can be challenging for both the teenagers and their parents.

Family relationships can be stressful and challenging. There may be anger, arguments, grief & loss, mental or physical illness, unresolved trauma, abuse, neglect, betrayal, financial or occupational challenges that create distress in the family system. Healthy family members have open, honest and compassionate communication. They hear, know and understand each other. They take responsibility and are accountable for their impact on each other. They show love and care through affection, attention, appreciation, being of service, spending quality time with and being there for each other. I guide you in developing the skills, qualities and habits needed to get your family to a better place!

Said one grieving mother, "Being estranged from your children and grandchildren is harder than surviving suicide. It's like experiencing a funeral, but they are not dead." Said another, "Many of my friends are excitedly anticipating visits from their relatives. They are shopping for them, planning meals and activities. I am truly happy for them. I want the same for myself, but I can't have it..." I work with parents and their adult children who have become estranged. My goal is to bring about reconciliation. If you have a need in this area, please feel free to call me to discuss your situation.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Family life if complicated. Not only do we bring our own baggage to the relationship but all of the other family members bring theirs too. Many of the issues that come up are communications issues and many are due to our nervous systems being either on hyper alert or shut down from past traumas and an overaccumulation of daily strresses. Working as a team we build on the strengths of the couple/family and we also tease apart the less functional areas to understand them more fully. Then we devise a plan for working with the issues. That might involve working as a couple/family or it might involve individual session to resolve whatever issues we each bring into our relationships.

I subscribe to the Gottman method which teaches effective listening, softening tools and mutual respect and value for each family member. Family therapy is one of my favorite areas and I love to see couples and families relearn how to experience the love they share for one another and give every family member a voice so they can gain self esteem that they can bring out in to the world

The most frequent family issues I see are problems with parenting (agreeing on limits/ consequences, either parent feeling supported by the other), difficulty with issues of adolescence (self-injury, eating disorder, suicidality, substance abuse, abusive relationships, bullying), and arguing/ yelling at one another. Any of these issues are difficult to handle; often times they occur as a bundle of issues. This can feel overwhelming to both parent and child. The whole system suffers and feelings of fear, hopelessness, guilt, anger, and resentment are free-floating with no useful direction. We will find strategies that work for your family so that you enjoy one another again.