Family Counseling Services in Alamo, CA.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently dysregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dystunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

Our family lives can be tremendously gratifying and enriching and a source of invaluable support and belonging. They can also become tense and chaotic at times, especially when under the influences of acute or chronic stress. Such responses are understandable, but you may need the support and guidance of a skilled therapist from time to time, especially if you are experiencing persistent conflicts that you cannot resolve or mediate on your own. Psychotherapy can help you relate to your family with more ease or resolve even long-standing problems. If you wish to explore how I could help with your particular situation, please call me at 415-533-9724. I would be happy to talk with you.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

I specialize in helping families find harmony within the home. I have extensive experience working with individuals, couples, families, and children of all ages. Whether you are dealing with a family conflict, a difficult transition, or a new challenge, I am here to help. My practice focuses on providing a safe and supportive environment for all family members. I will work with you to identify the underlying causes of the conflict and develop strategies for improving family relationships. I believe that all family dynamics are unique and strive to provide each family with the attention and care they need.

Family counseling is designed to strengthen the bonds within the relationship. Many times families will be struggling with day-to-day living (small problems will start to add up to larger problems). We tend to fall into ruts of the way we do things and sometimes that creates resentments and conflict that are not communicated in a way that helps others within the family to understand your concerns. By bringing everyone together. we can work on communication, division of labor, finances, and other issues that may be making home life not the sanctuary that we all want our homes to be.

I specialize in online parent coaching with the goal of helping you and your family have a closer more intimate relationship. After 11 years of working with children and families, I have concluded that this is the most effective way I can support families because you parents are the leaders of your home. If I can empower you through my knowledge and experience to implement some strategies at home, you can achieve your goals for your family. The support I provide will be sufficient for many families, but there are some situations that could benefit from the in-vivo coaching and direction that in person family therapy provides. Call me for a free 15 minute consultation about your needs

Conflicts in a family can become so routine that it may be difficult for you to determine which issues are important and which have become automatic battles. I can provide your family a safe place to work through this with an objective and neutral perspective that allows everyone to hear and everyone to be heard. Frequent arguing, nagging, complaining - all intensify the stress of daily life. Your family can learn to live harmoniously - not perfectly without ever having conflict - but without the need for "winners" and "losers" in constant tug of wars. It is exhausting and unhealthy to live with tension in your home. Call me today and let's begin easing that tension and regaining calm.

Family life if complicated. Not only do we bring our own baggage to the relationship but all of the other family members bring theirs too. Many of the issues that come up are communications issues and many are due to our nervous systems being either on hyper alert or shut down from past traumas and an overaccumulation of daily strresses. Working as a team we build on the strengths of the couple/family and we also tease apart the less functional areas to understand them more fully. Then we devise a plan for working with the issues. That might involve working as a couple/family or it might involve individual session to resolve whatever issues we each bring into our relationships.

I particularly enjoy working with pairs within a family system—a mother and daughter for instance or siblings. Family members who are longing to be closer to each other and having trouble doing it, or wanting to better communicate. This isn't about trying to fix another person or convince them of our views. In therapy, getting to deeper levels of empathy and understanding with the people closest to us can solve a lot of issues on its own, building respect and tolerance for differences, and a gratifying sense of connection. It takes courage, effort, and the willingness to lay down our swords and shields, but it is worth it.

Parent-Child therapy focuses on bringing awareness, attunement, and empathy into the family system. As a mother I know it can seem as if problems at home are because of one individual, but this is never the case. We are all part of a greater system. The goal of family systems therapy is to create a peaceful and harmonious space where everyone in the system can feel heard and understood. In addition to working towards creating more space for loving each other and less time for unproductive conflict, I also provide psychoeducation and practical parenting tools for lasting and dynamic change.

I found that the skills that my Couples learn from me: how to speak and listen in a way that allows real intimacy to digest on the gut level is extremely useful in working with families. Many times family members love each other but that love does not digest. Often there is a child or teenager that is acting out and when the parents learn how to connect with their child on a deeper level, the need for the acting out behaviors goes away. Parents sometimes need help being on the same team to BOTH provide the necessary structure (rules) AND do it in a way so the child (or teen) digests the love. Your children appreciate the rules from a loving team (even if they pretend they hate them)!

I work within a family framework, but I do not treat families as part of traditional "family therapy." This means that if you are a parent and you struggle with your child's behavior, I can help you learn techniques to manage the behavior better. I have extensive experience working with parents of children with autism and other mental health disorders that can make parenting extremely challenging. There is no shame in asking for support. I can help with creating a parenting plan, I can help with co-parenting after divorce, and I can help parents who care for their own aging relatives. We truly live in the "sandwich generation" where family can grow far.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I use a family systems approach in my therapy, so having family members in the room, in my opinion, is the most efficient route towards healing and growth in individuals. I encourage clients to address relationships that are causing distress in their lives and work towards healthy differentiation of self. This can be done in individual therapy as well, but is more effective when all members of the relationship are present.

When working with children and youth, the therapist cannot ignore the family system in which the child lives. I work with parents in multiple ways to help support youth in treatment, which may include separate parent sessions, co-parenting sessions, systemic family therapy, or Filial Therapy, a play therapy practice that coaches and guides parents in special play sessions with their child to decrease unwanted behaviors, improve relationships and communication, increase the child's emotional vocabulary, and increase the child's self-esteem.

By the time a parent is considering counseling for their child, they may have experienced a variety of emotions ranging from: sadness, fear, shame or anger. It can be very helpful to have a neutral professional to help teach the young person and their families how to learn different ways to think, behave, and communicate. Psychotherapy can help children, adolescents, and their families in a variety of ways – getting emotional support, resolving conflicts between family members, and trying out new solutions to old problems.