Great Couples Counseling in Woodland, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

In Couples therapy I have completed Level Three Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and I use Gottman Method in therapy work. Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a structured, goal-oriented, scientifically-based therapy. Intervention strategies are based upon empirical data from Dr. Gottman’s three decades of research. This research shows us what actually works to help couples achieve a long-term healthy relationship. Also, in my practice, as needed, other therapy methods are employed as well.

Learning effective communication skills is often the focus of my work with couples. These skills often include learning how to be more supportive, loving and validatling of one another. Other skills that couples often request and benefit from learning include how to deeply listen to one another and how to resolve disagreements without becoming hurtful. Another often helpful skill is for each to learn to recognize when they are beginning to become overwhelmed and upset so they can request a brief break from the conversation. In this way the conversation remains calm and amicable. I look forward to helping you enrich your relationship.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

I am a Certified Gottman Therapist and use the world famous, clinically proven Gottman method in my work with you. The Gottman Method is backed by 40 years of research establishing what makes marriage succeed or fail. I bring a deep, abiding passion to helping you and your partner get back to the love that you have for each other. Using the Sound Marital House to asses your relationship strengths and weaknesses, according to the research, I customize our work together, focussing on the areas you need help and education with to restore trust, intimacy & friendship. Most people contact me for painful fighting that creates emotional and sexual distance. Learn tools to restore your relationship!

Nothing means more to you than your relationship with your partner. It's why it hurts so much when you try to get close and they shut down or find some other way to pull away. Or maybe you feel suffocated, criticized, and not enough because it feels like too much is wanted from you. You're not alone. I get how important this person is to you, and want to help you to recognize your stuck push/pull pattern so that you can feel satisfied and understood in your relationship. This is also true when there are more serious problems, like affairs or addictions. As you learn what motivates you as well as your partner, you can again renew the bond of this most important relationship.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Couples struggling with repeated conflict, emotional injuries, and feelings of loneliness will find solace and rejuvenation in the therapy process. My approach to couples counseling is centered on healing attachment wounds and fostering a deeper connection between partners. By creating a compassionate and non-judgmental space, I guide couples in uncovering the underlying emotions that have led to the disconnection. Together, we will work to develop effective communication skills, rebuild trust, and cultivate empathy. You will experience relief from past hurts and discover new pathways to improved relational functioning, leading to a more satisfying and harmonious partnership.

My Approach is Different: I spend more time preparing for a session than the average marriage counselor, often an hour, and do so free of charge! I also spend more time between sessions, not just 10 minutes, so I am fully prepared to work on your case. Moreover, my "hour" is an actual 60 minutes, not a "therapy hour," defined to mean something less. My approach is diametrically opposed to that of one therapist who said "that 45- or 50-minute sessions allow therapists to offer a fresh perspective and remain objective without getting too immersed in a client’s life." "Too immersed?" I don't get that. Couples appreciate my full dedication to their success and happiness as a couple.

I use a combination of tried and true couples communication techniques to help couples create and build effective communication into their relationship. I also spend time on exploring sexual compatability and communication, when the couple wants their sexual lintimacy enhanced. IF there is lack of desire or an imbalance of desires, we address the roots of this.With couples who come for pre-marital counseling, we focus on communication skills and on common needs and wants the couple have for their impending marriage and family unit. We also look at any red flags that are showing up in the relationship.

It can happen to any of us...everyday stressors we bring home to get taken out on the wrong person - - the one person who means more to us than anything. It leaves you both feeling awful. Maybe you are not getting enough attention, conversation, physical intimacy. The focus of relationship counseling is to change the negative path to a positive one: learn to listen to each other, support each others needs and goals, be willing to compromise, make family and relationship decisions together, stop keeping score, reconnect, relax, and enjoy each other If you reading this, you have already begun to move forward. Please call me so I can help you work through your issues and reconnect.

For COUPLES THERAPY THAT WORKS, choose a COUPLES THERAPIST - I am trained in evidence based EFT & powerful couples modalities such as PACT & NVC. AND I teach you an entire COUPLES COURSE as we do therapy. Learn about neuroscience, trauma, communication, attachment & more. Often one person feels unsupported & unimportant & “pursues” the other for communication & connection, while the other feels like they’re never enough, can’t please their partner & usually withdraws & shuts down. Break this painful cycle & take your relationship to the next level - Create a safe haven & secure bond with a true experience of partnership. Feel seen, heard & that YOU MATTER! Develop a WE not just ME mindset.

Couples therapy often triggers roadblocks in communication. In being shaped by prior relationships, we create various meaning from our experiences as well as receiving and giving instructions on how to live. When we form new relationships of any kind, this gets challenged; coming together and finding a path forward that celebrates all involved is the key to success. My specialty is interracial couples; regardless of if you both come from different backgrounds, the goal is to create shared meaning that is co-constructed. I can help with this process.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Loving, successful relationships need to be carefully and skillfully nurtured in the following five areas: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Sexual, Financial. Couples who are ready to do ongoing work on their relationships are richly rewarded with a loving, meaningful and joyful life together. Committed relationships that have the possibility of morphing into long term relationships benefit greatly by being guided by the Gottman research on relationships as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Premarital Counselling prepares a couple for a new stage in their relationship by identifying potential areas of conflict and strength and developing tools to create a strong foundation.