Great Couples Counseling in Vincent, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

My style with relationships is empathetic, compassionate, and direct. Over the years, individuals fall into patterns and become accustomed to relating ways that may or may not be working. My job is to identify goals, illuminate those patterns, and discuss new ways of relating. Communication, Intimacy, Trust, Respect, and Life Transitions impact relationships. As we grow, who we are changes. Does your partner know who you are, what you truly want, and the spark that makes you... you? My goal is to rekindle pieces of the relationship that may be lost and move the relationship forward in the direction you choose. I work with couples ranging from high conflict to couples looking for a refresh.

Is your relationship in need of healing and strengthening for increased connection? Are you not even sure you want to be in the relationship and need a safe space to explore it? I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified Prepare-Enrich Couples Counselor and offer professional couples counseling, premarital counseling, and marital couples counseling. I utilize effective communication skills, Attachment Theory, Family Systems, and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to help restore your emotional bond and intimacy. Take the first step towards a fulfilling and lasting relationship and I look forward to working together with you!

I believe that good relationships are built on secure attachments, ones that are engaged and emotionally responsive to one another. In my experience working with couples, and research supports this idea as well, a combination of strategies that teach them to be more accepting of each other while at the same time working to change some of their assumptions and automatic behaviors are at the root of change. I see this in my private practice with partners attacking, often forgetting what brought them together in the first place; I guide them back into each other's arms, and back into a safety zone with a combination of attachment and communication techniques that have shown to be effective.

My Approach is Different: I spend more time preparing for a session than the average marriage counselor, often an hour, and do so free of charge! I also spend more time between sessions, not just 10 minutes, so I am fully prepared to work on your case. Moreover, my "hour" is an actual 60 minutes, not a "therapy hour," defined to mean something less. My approach is diametrically opposed to that of one therapist who said "that 45- or 50-minute sessions allow therapists to offer a fresh perspective and remain objective without getting too immersed in a client’s life." "Too immersed?" I don't get that. Couples appreciate my full dedication to their success and happiness as a couple.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

I have worked with hundred's of couples over the last 20 years. Each couple is unique in their own right which means there is no one way to "fix" a problem. Our deepest longings and hopes emerge in a couples relationship. Oftentimes we are working out unmet needs and hopes carried forward from our early family relationships to our present couple relationship. Problems become increasingly complex and difficult to overcome when we don't know what these issues are all about. Couples remain stuck in conflict not because of what they know, but what they don't know or can't recognize. The work in therapy is to help couples recognize unhealthy patterns of relating and introduce novelty.

I see clients in relationships of all kinds. Whether you are in a poly relationship, you practice non-monogamy, or if you are in a traditional marriage, you are in the right place. I offer a non-judgmental space where we work as a team to improve communication, develop connection and understanding, and use real tools to better your relationship. I am more than a mediator-- I help each person communicate their true thoughts and true needs without conflict. Do you have intimacy issues and need sex therapy? I provide that service as well. Sex is part of every relationship and should always be a priority. Physical intimacy is vital and I can help you make improvements that stick over time.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. I specialize in working with affairs and broken trust, abgtneuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Our staff of over 25 therapists specializes in helping couples in distress. From pre-marital counseling to couples work and even marriages that have been together for years--we are ready to help. Our staff has received training from Dr. Susan Johnson, the international expert on marriage and couples therapy and can help couples get free from patterns of fighting that you can't get out of on your own. We can teach you how to get free from the gridlock of fruitless fighting, and learn how to thrive in your relationship again.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Couple relationships are the source of our greatest joy, fulfillment, frustration, fear, and hopes. When they go well, there is nothing better. When the go wrong they are the source of intense emotional pain. Did you know that there is significant, reliable research that informs what builds and what can unravel even the most loving relationships? We have this knowledge and can share it with you in a safe, caring, and confidential environment. It is possible to make your good relationship great and your hurting relationship whole again.

Relationships are the stuff of life and wise persons will attend carefully to their intimate, committed relationship. Most couples are not aware of the sources of conflict and how these sources impact their relationships. Most couples do not understand how their coping habits, learned the child and teen years, will actually interfere with success in their love relationship. Couples all need to learn new and better ways to cope with relationships pain as their old coping habits will not work -- they will end up unintentionally hurting their partner.

In couples counseling we will explore the strengths each of you brings to your relationship and how these contribute to the overall health of your relationship together. We will work to understand your contributions and barriers to making your relationship work. The focus will remain on your goals for the relationship with the understanding that these may change as we learn more about each parties level of contribution. I encourage honesty between both parties. You will be encouraged to speak directly with one another to work toward strengthening your communication skills by clarifying the meaning and quality of the words you choose when speaking with your partner.

Couples therapy should not be about hashing over old wounds. Getting what you want from a relationship involves good communication and active listening, tolerance and forgiveness, emotional intelligence, having common goals and working cooperatively and, like all the bets things in life, presents us with a challenge. Relationships can be hard work but the work is rewarding and life-enhancing. I love to work with couples who are committed to improving their future rather than reliving their past.