Great Couples Counseling in Soquel, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Gaining the support of a trained therapist when you desire to improve your relationship with someone can be incredibly valuable. It can often feel like you are stuck in patterns of how you are responding to the other person, maybe you even notice how hard it can be to be honest and vulnerable with other person, despite desiring increased connection. I am trained in couples therapy and use a variety of approaches to support a couple in improving their relationship, depending on the needs of the couple. I am skilled in the Gottman approach and EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples), and I also use IFS (Internal Family Systems). Call to discuss how I can support your relationship growth.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

My Approach is Different: I spend more time preparing for a session than the average marriage counselor, often an hour, and do so free of charge! I also spend more time between sessions, not just 10 minutes, so I am fully prepared to work on your case. Moreover, my "hour" is an actual 60 minutes, not a "therapy hour," defined to mean something less. My approach is diametrically opposed to that of one therapist who said "that 45- or 50-minute sessions allow therapists to offer a fresh perspective and remain objective without getting too immersed in a client’s life." "Too immersed?" I don't get that. Couples appreciate my full dedication to their success and happiness as a couple.

Couples counseling is helpful when two individuals want to deepen their connection (even when things in their relationship are "fine") as well as to help resolve conflicts that have not been addressed or have not been successfully addressed in the past. Top concerns usally involve money, parenting, sex, and in-laws. Improving general communication and one's ability to manage their feelings help to resolve the issues above with love, respect, and efficiency.

Couples often find that their hopes and expectations for finding that special person who will "make them happy" are unrealistic and a burden to an otherwise very successful relationship. I find that when you learn to listen to your partner and appreciate who they are, and risk telling them who you are and how you feel, your love will be on solid ground. I will help you focus on what you need to feel loving and loveable, and to share that with your partner.

In couple’s therapy with me, you will learn about more effective ways of connecting in order to improve intimacy, relational flow, and overall satisfaction. By better understanding your own as well as your partner’s needs and pain, you will relate in ways that are not damaging to the relationship. I will teach you valuable communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy-building techniques so that you can continue nurturing the love, trust, and respect between you even after completing therapy. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Couples often come to counseling when they are on the verge of breaking up. I hope that you will find the way to counseling before you reach this point so that we can find better ways to look at and change old patterns that seem to have you stuck. And even if both agree it is time to separate, counselimf can be helpful to find healthier ways in the process so that we don't have to recreate old, dysfunctional patterns in our next relationships. I invite both partners to utilize the safety of the therapeutic set-up to look at the deeper underlying issues that have brought you to this point in your current relationship

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

I provide therapy for couples who are married, who are engaged to be married and for those who are dating or cohabiting. A relationship personality profile is provided to all couples, followed by sessions on communication, intimacy/connectedness, trust. These sessions are always personalized to the couple's issues. I offer a "Tools for the Marriage Toolbox" package for pre-marital couples that can be done in two sessions; a valuable wedding gift to each other!

I work with couples to repair and rebuild their relationships. My practice focuses on providing couples with the tools they need to create a healthier and more connected relationship. I believe in an integrative approach that is rooted in evidence-based therapies such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Psychodynamic Therapy. My goal is to help couples find a deeper understanding of one another and create a more meaningful relationship. I strive to provide a safe, non-judgmental, and respectful environment that encourages honest communication and healing.

I specialize in Couples Work and Marriage Counseling. I'm trained by the Couples Institute of Menlo Park, as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottmann Method. Having been married myself for 25 years - and worked through my share of challenges in relationship - I have a good understanding for what it takes to heal, trust, and build intimacy with someone. Most of our communication as a couple is in fact asking the question "are you there for me?". In couples counseling we will explore that basic premise and understand how to make our partners feel it, as well as how we can each motivate our partner to WANT to make us feel that way.

I specialize in working with couples and trauma. I help my clients encounter themselves and reach for growth. Both for themselves and for those they love. I help people searching for peace, connection, and wholeness. And because no single approach is right for everyone, I have training in a range of approaches including Somatic Experiencing (SE), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

If you are a couple, whether married or not, it is important to keep your relationship happy and healthy. I have experience with many different couples, and if it is one thing that I have learned, it is that each couple is 'unique'. I listen to my couple clients very carefully, so that I can get an idea who they are and what they want before making any treatment decisions. Clients are the expert on their lives; I am the expert on relationships. Together we make therapy work.

Couples struggling with repeated conflict, emotional injuries, and feelings of loneliness will find solace and rejuvenation in the therapy process. My approach to couples counseling is centered on healing attachment wounds and fostering a deeper connection between partners. By creating a compassionate and non-judgmental space, I guide couples in uncovering the underlying emotions that have led to the disconnection. Together, we will work to develop effective communication skills, rebuild trust, and cultivate empathy. You will experience relief from past hurts and discover new pathways to improved relational functioning, leading to a more satisfying and harmonious partnership.

Couples counseling helps partners learn how to communicate openly, listen actively, and express their thoughts and feelings. Together, my relationship counseling clients and I build a toolbox for safely navigating issues, understanding each other's perspectives, deepening intimacy, and resolving conflicts. My couples counseling clients learn how to keep the flame lit and build lasting passion in their relationship. We work on techniques for avoiding the conundrum of feeling like roommates or business partners who are raising kids together. We can also work to heal breaches of trust, investigating underlying causes and working on rebuilding the trust that has been lost.