Great Couples Counseling in Santa Paula, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

FRUSTRATED ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? Stressed out about what to do next? Are you considering breakup or divorce but really want to give it a last chance? Would you like to take one more look before making any permanent decision? I can help you gain clarity, confidence in your decision making in regards to a very important matter in your life through a brief and focused counseling process.

My Approach is Different: I spend more time preparing for a session than the average marriage counselor, often an hour, and do so free of charge! I also spend more time between sessions, not just 10 minutes, so I am fully prepared to work on your case. Moreover, my "hour" is an actual 60 minutes, not a "therapy hour," defined to mean something less. My approach is diametrically opposed to that of one therapist who said "that 45- or 50-minute sessions allow therapists to offer a fresh perspective and remain objective without getting too immersed in a client’s life." "Too immersed?" I don't get that. Couples appreciate my full dedication to their success and happiness as a couple.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. I specialize in working with affairs and broken trust, abgtneuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you

Relationship counseling can be beneficial to couples that are looking to strengthen their emotional connection, in all stages of their relationship. Therapy sessions are a place to explore what isn't working, heal areas of hurt, and find new ways to connect in healthier, more productive ways. Learning to communicate in new and more helpful ways is often a great starting point to making changes.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Even the happiest of couples are likely to require some fine tuning as each individual grows and evolves individually. As you know, relationships are hard and sometimes they require doing the work. Relationships often flourish when both partners are feeling safe, have trust, intimacy, vulnerability, respect and healthy communication. This is hardly easy to achieve throughout the entirety of a relationship. I approach couples therapy through assessment and research-based interventions that help communication, increase affection and intimacy, rebuild mutual respect, empathy, and compassion.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

I work with couples to repair and rebuild their relationships. My practice focuses on providing couples with the tools they need to create a healthier and more connected relationship. I believe in an integrative approach that is rooted in evidence-based therapies such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Psychodynamic Therapy. My goal is to help couples find a deeper understanding of one another and create a more meaningful relationship. I strive to provide a safe, non-judgmental, and respectful environment that encourages honest communication and healing.

Working with couples is something I enjoy doing, helping them to work through conflicts and problems they may have with each other, restoring them to good feelings and a workable arrangement to get through their problems together. If you're concerned about an issue in your marriage or relationship and want support, I can help you.I help couples to learn to listen to each other and talk to each other from a place of caring respect. I have over 12 years experience working with couples, helping them to resolve their differences and get back to loving each other. Most couples I work with report increased feelings of love and appreciation for each other, with more hope for their relationship.

Are you and your partner arguing more often than usual? Feel your relationship is not what it used to be? A relationship goes through ebbs and flows and sometimes cannot get back on track. I work with couples who are having difficulties in their relationship and help them put words to the way they are feeling without all the drama, fighting, or misunderstandings. I provide a safe environment for both sides to speak about what they want and have the other person listen without feeling shut down before they start. Get the tools your relationship needs to have better understanding and appreciation for the other person. Call for a free, confidential consultation today.

We offer couples therapy, both short and long-term, tailoring our approach to address each couple’s specific needs and goals. We integrate emotionally focused therapy (EFT), psychodynamic, attachment-focused and family systems treatment modalities to help couples learn how to compromise, negotiate their needs, and understand their relational patterns and dynamics that often inhibit their ability to empathize with one another and communicate effectively.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

For COUPLES THERAPY THAT WORKS, choose a COUPLES THERAPIST - I am trained in evidence based EFT & powerful couples modalities such as PACT & NVC. AND I teach you an entire COUPLES COURSE as we do therapy. Learn about neuroscience, trauma, communication, attachment & more. Often one person feels unsupported & unimportant & “pursues” the other for communication & connection, while the other feels like they’re never enough, can’t please their partner & usually withdraws & shuts down. Break this painful cycle & take your relationship to the next level - Create a safe haven & secure bond with a true experience of partnership. Feel seen, heard & that YOU MATTER! Develop a WE not just ME mindset.