Great Couples Counseling in Cotati, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples counseling has been a passion of mine and one of my top two specialties for 15 years now. I blend Imago, Emotionally focused, and mindfulness techniques into a process I call "Conscious Love." Conscious Love is based on the concept that we tend to come together with a romantic partner who will trigger our core wound and bring our attention to where we need healing. It's an opportunity to learn how to become a team to overcome the patterns that are blocking the flow of love between you. This is a beautiful process that deepens love and builds trust. I teach a powerful communication method I call “nurturing talks.” Feel free to read the testimonials on my website.

Imagine if you could end the pain and suffering that comes from feeling a lack of connection and a lack of love in your relationship. Now imagine feeling unconditional love for yourself, for your partner, and from your partner. Couples Work can offer your relationship the support and crucial information it deserves and needs to flourish. I can effectively work with either one or both members of a couple. The ultimate goal is bringing compassion and loving attention to the relationship so that healing can begin. And while one partner can't do the other's work, by changing their own behavior one partner can effect change in their partner's behavior.

Even with well-meant intentions to find one another or to create harmony in your relationship, partners fall into repeating negative patterns which can include angry pleading, accusation, defensiveness or cold withdrawal. This is painful. I help you to understand how you get stuck and then guide you through new emotional experiences which stop the old negative patterns and help you to find safety and feel connected and in love again. I specialize in couples therapy. I have over 27 years working with couples and many hours of training specific to helping couples. I am certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples (EFT), an evidence-based, empirically validated approach.

Choosing to share our lives with someone can be a beautiful but challenging experience. Everyday life can rob you of the joy that you felt at the beginning of the relationship or maybe larger stressors happen and communication can be hard. Let's work together to find solutions to the stressors, increase communication, and find joy in the relationship. If you decide that the relationship is no longer a healthy one for you and instead you and your partner need support in separating, that is something I can also support with. A healthy divorce, separation, or breakup is better than an unhealthy relationship.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

I see clients in relationships of all kinds. Whether you are in a poly relationship, you practice non-monogamy, or if you are in a traditional marriage, you are in the right place. I offer a non-judgmental space where we work as a team to improve communication, develop connection and understanding, and use real tools to better your relationship. I am more than a mediator-- I help each person communicate their true thoughts and true needs without conflict. Do you have intimacy issues and need sex therapy? I provide that service as well. Sex is part of every relationship and should always be a priority. Physical intimacy is vital and I can help you make improvements that stick over time.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

My passion is helping couples and individuals see, understand, and feel the cycle of conflict that’s keeping them stuck in disconnection, frustration, and unhappiness and teach them new ways to interact with each other - ways that lead to connection, emotional safety, belonging, trust, and love. I am not a sit-back-and-listen therapist. I consider myself a process consultant. I want to see you get the results you want, and I will guide you in an active, warm, loving and direct way to help you have a different kind of conversation than you’ve been able to have with your partner before. I love helping love thrive!

Couples struggling with repeated conflict, emotional injuries, and feelings of loneliness will find solace and rejuvenation in the therapy process. My approach to couples counseling is centered on healing attachment wounds and fostering a deeper connection between partners. By creating a compassionate and non-judgmental space, I guide couples in uncovering the underlying emotions that have led to the disconnection. Together, we will work to develop effective communication skills, rebuild trust, and cultivate empathy. You will experience relief from past hurts and discover new pathways to improved relational functioning, leading to a more satisfying and harmonious partnership.

Each couple has a unique dynamic. I work hard to ensure that both individuals in the couple are heard and understood so that the couple feels safe to work on their communication goals and meet their intimacy needs. Relationships change as life circumstances change - new couples, couples considering marriage, addition of children to the dynamic, individual job challenges, death of parents, financial difficulties all impact the health of the couple. Come discuss the issues and improve the relationship bond.

Relationship problems are one of the most common causes of distress and unhappiness around! We seek comfort, security, companionship, connection, sexual fulfillment in our relationships. When there is a problem, it can feel like our very survival is at stake! I help couples to reconnect in a loving way, so they experience greater joy and happiness with one another. I use a variey of benefical techniques to help you work through your problems. You learn to really listen and tune into one another through a special communication process I developed. You also learn to identify and let go of old baggage that gets in the way of your connecting.

When a relationship has become strained or distant and you are not feeling close to your partner, you may feel hopeless that things will ever change. I believe both you and your spouse want to feel understood and that your needs will be met and respected. I think both of you want a happy and loving environment that you come home to at the end of the day. When there is too much alienation or conflict, it may be time to see a therapist for couples counseling. Counseling may help improve empathy and understanding. It will help both of you talk to each other, and will help you listen to what is being said. Counseling can help you and your partner move beyond conflict and return to love.