Great Couples Counseling in Bonita, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples therapy involves working with partners who are in a committed relationship. Individuals attend couples therapy to learn how to work through their differences, communicate better, problem-solve challenges in the relationship, work through parenting differences, improve their intimacy or their overall satisfaction with the relationship. Couples therapy involves assessing the strengths and weaknesses in the relationship, formulating goals and working diligently toward attaining those goals to establish and maintain healthy, loving and exciting romantic relationships.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. I specialize in working with affairs and broken trust, abgtneuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

I am an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist (EFT) which is the most empirically validated and proven couples therapy to date - helping couples go from distress to a more secure, lasting love, which after a 2 year follow-up, couples report a happier and more fulfilling relationship. I help couples understand their painful disconnection that creates distance and frustration, learn to be more clear in their communication and needs, helping couples begin to heal and repair rifts to bring about a deeper felt sense of security within their relationship. I desire couples to experience with one another that they matter, that they are cared for, they are unconditionally loved by their partner.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Couples therapy often triggers roadblocks in communication. In being shaped by prior relationships, we create various meaning from our experiences as well as receiving and giving instructions on how to live. When we form new relationships of any kind, this gets challenged; coming together and finding a path forward that celebrates all involved is the key to success. My specialty is interracial couples; regardless of if you both come from different backgrounds, the goal is to create shared meaning that is co-constructed. I can help with this process.

Our committed relationship or marriage is often the greatest trigger of stress and anxiety. This is because our very identities (our experience of ourselves) is threatened. This may be caused by a) unresolved issues from our family of origin, b) unresolved disagreements in lifestyle or child rearing, c) conflicts over sex, romance, and intimacy, or d) sometimes just the management of everyday stressors. The sad result is a "disconnect" between partners, and resulting loneliness. Working in collaboration, we will finding the cause, and build a strategy to reconnect you and your partner. Yes, you can recapture the love, attraction, and joy you deserve together. Let's get to work!

Couples struggling with repeated conflict, emotional injuries, and feelings of loneliness will find solace and rejuvenation in the therapy process. My approach to couples counseling is centered on healing attachment wounds and fostering a deeper connection between partners. By creating a compassionate and non-judgmental space, I guide couples in uncovering the underlying emotions that have led to the disconnection. Together, we will work to develop effective communication skills, rebuild trust, and cultivate empathy. You will experience relief from past hurts and discover new pathways to improved relational functioning, leading to a more satisfying and harmonious partnership.

Couples counseling is an area I specialize in and have helped couples repair and rebuild their relationships. I start with what are the goals that the couple wants to accomplish during therapy (usually repairing or strengthening their relationship). Next we look at each persons areas of strengths and weaknesses as well as their reasons for the difficulties in the relationship. I then help the couple through a "atonement, attunement and attachment" process that repairs and strengthens the relationship along with achieving the established goals of the couple.

I see clients in relationships of all kinds. Whether you are in a poly relationship, you practice non-monogamy, or if you are in a traditional marriage, you are in the right place. I offer a non-judgmental space where we work as a team to improve communication, develop connection and understanding, and use real tools to better your relationship. I am more than a mediator-- I help each person communicate their true thoughts and true needs without conflict. Do you have intimacy issues and need sex therapy? I provide that service as well. Sex is part of every relationship and should always be a priority. Physical intimacy is vital and I can help you make improvements that stick over time.

Humans experience the world through relationships with others. We are made to connect! When connections with our significant others are fractured, it can impact our mood, our health, our work and family relationships. We fear being abandoned, alone, and a disappointment to those important to us. Emotionally Focused Therapy can help us to reconnect, feel cared for, and to feel loved and valued again by our partners. You do not need to remain stuck in repetitive cycles of isolation and pain. Whatever your partnership arrangement, you are welcome. Things can change for the better! Maybe you are a couple on the brink of divorce. Discernment counseling can help get clarity on the path to take.

My approach to couples and marital therapy includes several components which are: relationship enhancement skills, communication and conflict resolution strategies, increased awareness of relationship needs and empathy development. It has been my expericence that when couples are committed to improving their relationship and apply the tools taught in therapy, they find that communication improves significantly and appear more motivated to meet the needs of their partner. As each person committs to meeting the needs of their partner it tends to generate good feelings and respectful behavior bewteen the partners, which can result in greater relatinship satisfaction.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

Dr. Regina Knox's approach to couples counseling emphasizes the intricate dynamics between partners, regardless of marital status. Recognizing that every relationship possesses its unique challenges and patterns, she facilitates an environment where both partners can communicate openly and constructively. Dr. Knox employs techniques that foster mutual understanding, respect, and trust. By navigating the nuances of each relationship, she aids couples in identifying underlying issues, enhancing connection, and building stronger bonds.