Great Couples Counseling in Benicia, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Intimate partnerships provide miraculous opportunities to heal and grow. In couples therapy I create a safe space to build deep and lasting transformation with improved communication and mutual empathy. My approach is integrative and includes Emotionally Focused Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, attachment theory modalities, sex therapy, and intuition. I am direct, compassionate, poly/ENM friendly, queer allied, and sex-worker allied. All are welcome here!

For COUPLES THERAPY THAT WORKS, choose a COUPLES THERAPIST - I am trained in evidence based EFT & powerful couples modalities such as PACT & NVC. AND I teach you an entire COUPLES COURSE as we do therapy. Learn about neuroscience, trauma, communication, attachment & more. Often one person feels unsupported & unimportant & “pursues” the other for communication & connection, while the other feels like they’re never enough, can’t please their partner & usually withdraws & shuts down. Break this painful cycle & take your relationship to the next level - Create a safe haven & secure bond with a true experience of partnership. Feel seen, heard & that YOU MATTER! Develop a WE not just ME mindset.

Being in a relationship can be like the sun after a two-week downpour of rain, but it can also be like falling into a rosebush, something that looked pretty at first, but stuck you with a thousand thorns as you fell into it. Couples therapy can help you sort out the sticky mess of intimacy so that you can better roll with the punches, talk through problems, and enjoy all those amazing moments together in-between.

I work with couples of all kinds, and in all stages of relationship. I help couples focus on the "We" in their relationship, develop strengths and improve their communication. I also help couples pause behavior that is having a negative impact and develop new perspectives and behaviors that nourish their connection. Whether couples are married or unmarried or considering marriage, whether they have been together a few months or many years, I help them make their relationship a more loving, less painful and more enjoyable place to be.

I help couples move their relationship forward through difficult times, into a place of support, love, and mutual understanding. As a psychologist with over a decade of experience working with couples, I have built up considerable respect for the concept of multiple points of view. The benefit of couples therapy is that you have a therapist who is on your relationship's side. Too often what one partner intends to convey, is not how it is received by the other. I am particularly skilled at helping partners phrase and ask for things in ways that the other person can hear and digest. I am happy to speak with you over the phone for a free initial consultation. Give me a call today!

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

When we open our hearts and allow someone in, we have the opportunity to build relationships that will bring us comfort and joy. When those relationships are struggling it effects us more than other relationships in our life. In couples therapy, we will work together to open the lines of communication, better understand our partners needs and their interpretations of behaviors and try to close the gap between intentional and unintentional communication. Ideally couples counseling will bring two people that want to be together closer and gain a deeper understanding of their partner and their needs.

Loving, successful relationships need to be carefully and skillfully nurtured in the following five areas: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Sexual, Financial. Couples who are ready to do ongoing work on their relationships are richly rewarded with a loving, meaningful and joyful life together. Committed relationships that have the possibility of morphing into long term relationships benefit greatly by being guided by the Gottman research on relationships as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Premarital Counselling prepares a couple for a new stage in their relationship by identifying potential areas of conflict and strength and developing tools to create a strong foundation.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Relationships are hard. We need to acknowledge that, then address issues specific to your relationship. The most critical needs of any relationship are trust and friendship. I work to bring those into the relationship and find ways to foster them to make them prevalent over conflicts and everyday struggles. Communication is often the presenting issue with couples, however, IF an underlying warmth is present, conflicts are addressed and managed in a gentler, more loving manner. Couples need to find shared meaning in their lives and become each others' refuge. I explore with you desires, dreams, regrets, wants, etc.. Call me today and begin the journey back to your passion / friendship.

FRUSTRATED ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? Stressed out about what to do next? Are you considering breakup or divorce but really want to give it a last chance? Would you like to take one more look before making any permanent decision? I can help you gain clarity, confidence in your decision making in regards to a very important matter in your life through a brief and focused counseling process.

I focus on fostering open communication and mutual understanding between partners. I create a safe, non-judgmental space where both individuals can express their feelings and concerns honestly. By utilizing evidence-based techniques such IFS, I help couples identify and address underlying issues, improve their communication skills, and rebuild trust. My goal is to guide couples toward a deeper emotional connection and more effective problem-solving strategies, empowering them to strengthen their relationship and navigate challenges together.

Couples seek therapy for many reasons and at different stages of their lives, even when they are not experiencing overt difficulties. Some seek psychotherapy to become more intimate, to develop new capacities as a couple, to mediate conflicts before they become intractable or to prepare for the next phase in their journey together. Some come entrenched by long-standing difficulties that have subsumed their lives. Others come with doubts about their future, seeking clarity about their path, or needing help to navigate life's inevitable challenges. Most come seeking a greater sense of hope and possibility for their lives together. If you are seeking support for your relationship, I can help.

Each couple has a unique dynamic. I work hard to ensure that both individuals in the couple are heard and understood so that the couple feels safe to work on their communication goals and meet their intimacy needs. Relationships change as life circumstances change - new couples, couples considering marriage, addition of children to the dynamic, individual job challenges, death of parents, financial difficulties all impact the health of the couple. Come discuss the issues and improve the relationship bond.

I focus on authenticity in my practice, and for me this is especially helpful when it comes to couples work. That most problems in relationships come from people being afraid to fully reveal themselves to their partners, for fear they won't be fully accepted and loved. And that by working on open and honest communication tools, and how to really share the depth of their beings with each other, we can create relationships of real intimacy that are healthy and nourishing.

I work with couples to repair and rebuild their relationships. My practice focuses on providing couples with the tools they need to create a healthier and more connected relationship. I believe in an integrative approach that is rooted in evidence-based therapies such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Psychodynamic Therapy. My goal is to help couples find a deeper understanding of one another and create a more meaningful relationship. I strive to provide a safe, non-judgmental, and respectful environment that encourages honest communication and healing.

As we know, romantic relationships can bring out the best and worst of us. Working with couples involves being open to identifying and experiencing those parts of ourselves that get triggered. In this way, we allow the relationship to be an opportunity for working through patterns that block intimacy and develop new ways of being that deepen communication, allow for more honest, open expression and enable each partner to be a healing agent for the other. This is a pathway of healing and growth- a vehicle for enhancing capacity for love (including self-love) and soul connection.

It really hurts when the person you love is focused on "being right", rather than really getting you! Does your relationship create a deep pain or numbness in your heart? When we start to believe that our LEGITIMATE needs for connection will not be adequately met with our partner, it is easy to focus on our personal needs (at the expense of our partner's). A NORMAL human response to this is: nagging, petty repetitive fights, silent-treatments, numbing out, outbursts, being condescending, focusing on being right (rather than really listening). Using EFT, I FOCUS ON SHIFTING THE CULTURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP from its current negative painful cycles into being a safe place for both of you.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

I provide couples counseling which can be beneficial whether you are married or in a long term partnership. Therapy can be helpful for all couples to open up communication, gain mutual understanding and have a safe place to be vulnerable. Engaging in couples therapy can valuable whether there is a specific issue needing focus or just the desire to gain better communication. I look forward to supporting through with this process.

I see clients in relationships of all kinds. Whether you are in a poly relationship, you practice non-monogamy, or if you are in a traditional marriage, you are in the right place. I offer a non-judgmental space where we work as a team to improve communication, develop connection and understanding, and use real tools to better your relationship. I am more than a mediator-- I help each person communicate their true thoughts and true needs without conflict. Do you have intimacy issues and need sex therapy? I provide that service as well. Sex is part of every relationship and should always be a priority. Physical intimacy is vital and I can help you make improvements that stick over time.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Are you trapped in a cycle of relentless arguments, grappling with trust issues, communication breakdowns, or a lack of emotional intimacy that feels like you are just roommates? Amid life's demands, couples often feel overwhelmed, losing sight of the deep connection that initially brought them together. The Gottman Method, grounded in decades of research, is highly effective in helping couples achieve lasting positive change. I offer a complimentary 15-minute consultation for you to get to know me and ask any questions. With over a decade as a tenured professor in the counseling field, I bring a wealth of experience and a enthusiastic about applying these insights with you.

Do you and your loved one seem to be moving farther and father apart? Do you notice that you are arguing more, feeling more distant, or feeling cut off completely from this person that you had once found so much joy in? The relationship with a significant other is one of the most profound that you will ever experience. It is responsible for keeping us centered emotionally in stressful times, and it is responsible for helping us to feel joy and connection in the world. Learn to communicate with your partner and how to get your needs met and figure out the primary needs of your partner. Rebuild trust and friendship and learn skills and tools to avoid the biggest relationship killers!