Great Couples Counseling in American Canyon, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. I specialize in working with affairs and broken trust, abgtneuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you

Learning effective communication skills is often the focus of my work with couples. These skills often include learning how to be more supportive, loving and validatling of one another. Other skills that couples often request and benefit from learning include how to deeply listen to one another and how to resolve disagreements without becoming hurtful. Another often helpful skill is for each to learn to recognize when they are beginning to become overwhelmed and upset so they can request a brief break from the conversation. In this way the conversation remains calm and amicable. I look forward to helping you enrich your relationship.

Loving, successful relationships need to be carefully and skillfully nurtured in the following five areas: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Sexual, Financial. Couples who are ready to do ongoing work on their relationships are richly rewarded with a loving, meaningful and joyful life together. Committed relationships that have the possibility of morphing into long term relationships benefit greatly by being guided by the Gottman research on relationships as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Premarital Counselling prepares a couple for a new stage in their relationship by identifying potential areas of conflict and strength and developing tools to create a strong foundation.

It really hurts when the person you love is focused on "being right", rather than really getting you! Does your relationship create a deep pain or numbness in your heart? When we start to believe that our LEGITIMATE needs for connection will not be adequately met with our partner, it is easy to focus on our personal needs (at the expense of our partner's). A NORMAL human response to this is: nagging, petty repetitive fights, silent-treatments, numbing out, outbursts, being condescending, focusing on being right (rather than really listening). Using EFT, I FOCUS ON SHIFTING THE CULTURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP from its current negative painful cycles into being a safe place for both of you.

Do you and your loved one seem to be moving farther and father apart? Do you notice that you are arguing more, feeling more distant, or feeling cut off completely from this person that you had once found so much joy in? The relationship with a significant other is one of the most profound that you will ever experience. It is responsible for keeping us centered emotionally in stressful times, and it is responsible for helping us to feel joy and connection in the world. Learn to communicate with your partner and how to get your needs met and figure out the primary needs of your partner. Rebuild trust and friendship and learn skills and tools to avoid the biggest relationship killers!

I see clients in relationships of all kinds. Whether you are in a poly relationship, you practice non-monogamy, or if you are in a traditional marriage, you are in the right place. I offer a non-judgmental space where we work as a team to improve communication, develop connection and understanding, and use real tools to better your relationship. I am more than a mediator-- I help each person communicate their true thoughts and true needs without conflict. Do you have intimacy issues and need sex therapy? I provide that service as well. Sex is part of every relationship and should always be a priority. Physical intimacy is vital and I can help you make improvements that stick over time.

I work with couples of all kinds, and in all stages of relationship. I help couples focus on the "We" in their relationship, develop strengths and improve their communication. I also help couples pause behavior that is having a negative impact and develop new perspectives and behaviors that nourish their connection. Whether couples are married or unmarried or considering marriage, whether they have been together a few months or many years, I help them make their relationship a more loving, less painful and more enjoyable place to be.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

I focus on fostering open communication and mutual understanding between partners. I create a safe, non-judgmental space where both individuals can express their feelings and concerns honestly. By utilizing evidence-based techniques such IFS, I help couples identify and address underlying issues, improve their communication skills, and rebuild trust. My goal is to guide couples toward a deeper emotional connection and more effective problem-solving strategies, empowering them to strengthen their relationship and navigate challenges together.

I provide couples counseling which can be beneficial whether you are married or in a long term partnership. Therapy can be helpful for all couples to open up communication, gain mutual understanding and have a safe place to be vulnerable. Engaging in couples therapy can valuable whether there is a specific issue needing focus or just the desire to gain better communication. I look forward to supporting through with this process.

Relationships are hard. We need to acknowledge that, then address issues specific to your relationship. The most critical needs of any relationship are trust and friendship. I work to bring those into the relationship and find ways to foster them to make them prevalent over conflicts and everyday struggles. Communication is often the presenting issue with couples, however, IF an underlying warmth is present, conflicts are addressed and managed in a gentler, more loving manner. Couples need to find shared meaning in their lives and become each others' refuge. I explore with you desires, dreams, regrets, wants, etc.. Call me today and begin the journey back to your passion / friendship.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Couples counseling has been a passion of mine and one of my top two specialties for 15 years now. I blend Imago, Emotionally focused, and mindfulness techniques into a process I call "Conscious Love." Conscious Love is based on the concept that we tend to come together with a romantic partner who will trigger our core wound and bring our attention to where we need healing. It's an opportunity to learn how to become a team to overcome the patterns that are blocking the flow of love between you. This is a beautiful process that deepens love and builds trust. I teach a powerful communication method I call “nurturing talks.” Feel free to read the testimonials on my website.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Each couple has a unique dynamic. I work hard to ensure that both individuals in the couple are heard and understood so that the couple feels safe to work on their communication goals and meet their intimacy needs. Relationships change as life circumstances change - new couples, couples considering marriage, addition of children to the dynamic, individual job challenges, death of parents, financial difficulties all impact the health of the couple. Come discuss the issues and improve the relationship bond.

I subscribe to the John Gottman method which teaches effective listening, softening tools, creating love maps and building mutual respect and value for each family member. Family therapy is one of my favorite areas as I love to see couples and families relearn how to experience the love they share for one another and give every family member a voice so they can gain selfesteem that they can bring out in to the world.

Are you trapped in destructive cycles of anger and blame? Have you lost trust because of an affair? Are you avoiding your partner or feeling disengaged? Is it hard for you to have real conversations or solve problems together? I will help you untangle your painful negative cycles of communication and build new stronger connections. You can learn to have power over that cycle by learning your triggers and undoing them. You will learn about the roots of the cycle learned in early relationships. Call, text or email me to set an appointment.

For COUPLES THERAPY THAT WORKS, choose a COUPLES THERAPIST - I am trained in evidence based EFT & powerful couples modalities such as PACT & NVC. AND I teach you an entire COUPLES COURSE as we do therapy. Learn about neuroscience, trauma, communication, attachment & more. Often one person feels unsupported & unimportant & “pursues” the other for communication & connection, while the other feels like they’re never enough, can’t please their partner & usually withdraws & shuts down. Break this painful cycle & take your relationship to the next level - Create a safe haven & secure bond with a true experience of partnership. Feel seen, heard & that YOU MATTER! Develop a WE not just ME mindset.

As we know, romantic relationships can bring out the best and worst of us. Working with couples involves being open to identifying and experiencing those parts of ourselves that get triggered. In this way, we allow the relationship to be an opportunity for working through patterns that block intimacy and develop new ways of being that deepen communication, allow for more honest, open expression and enable each partner to be a healing agent for the other. This is a pathway of healing and growth- a vehicle for enhancing capacity for love (including self-love) and soul connection.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

My Approach is Different: I spend more time preparing for a session than the average marriage counselor, often an hour, and do so free of charge! I also spend more time between sessions, not just 10 minutes, so I am fully prepared to work on your case. Moreover, my "hour" is an actual 60 minutes, not a "therapy hour," defined to mean something less. My approach is diametrically opposed to that of one therapist who said "that 45- or 50-minute sessions allow therapists to offer a fresh perspective and remain objective without getting too immersed in a client’s life." "Too immersed?" I don't get that. Couples appreciate my full dedication to their success and happiness as a couple.