Anger Management and Counseling in Woodside, CA.

Many of us experience anger and/or rage in the course of our relationships. Anger in and of itself is not a problem - in fact its a good way to let you know that there is some vulnerable feeling underneath that is too painful to reach just yet. Its what we DO with our anger that gets us in trouble. I can teach you tools to manage your anger without denying your entitlement to it.

Where there is smoke there is fire. Likewise, where there is interpersonal conflict, invariably there is frustration and anger. This is no less true between couples and in marriage relationships. And while there may be legitimate reasons to become angry, over time such hostility will become counter-productive, hurting the marriage. I utilize a clinically proven 3-step plan for getting to the source of the anger and resolving it. This approach to anger management fits perfectly within my overall process of resolving conflict between couples and enhancing relationship enjoyment.

In anger management sessions with me, you will learn to identify triggers and early warning signs of your anger in order to feel more in control of the experience of this emotion. By better understanding your unique anger process, you will get through this feeling more quickly in the future as well as with more peace and less damage to relationships. I will teach you valuable relaxation, conflict resolution, and relapse prevention skills so that you can stay calmer in triggering situations even after completing therapy. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwaive optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

Do you regularly find yourself frustrated and angry at the people you want to be closest to and that you love the most? Do you strive to stay calm and balanced, but then find yourself going off on people at home or at work? I work with people to recognize how anger comes from unenforceable rules you create for how others, or you yourself, "should" behave. Unrealistic rules create expectations that you waste your life & energy trying to enforce in yourself and others. We will work together to understand the rules you have made that are realistic and helpful, and to give you the choice to change the rules that are creating unnecessary grief for you and the people who want to be close to you.

I aim to help my clients gain a better understanding of their emotions and how to manage them. My practice specializes in anger management and provides tools and techniques to help people maintain stable emotions, stronger relationships, and better communication. I also offer psychoanalytically informed counseling, which helps clients gain insight into their unconscious thoughts and behavior. With my understanding of the human mind, I am able to provide my clients with the support they need to make positive changes in their lives.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

You cannot always control how you feel, but you can learn how to control how you react to those feelings. Dealing with overwhelming emotions, such as anger, for a long time can be frustrating and have negative impact on important areas of your life, such as career and relationships. I can help you develop effective skills to manage your emotional reactions in healthier ways and in turn reduce prolonged suffering.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger has both harmful and healthy/constructive potential depending on how it is dealt with. If you are coming to therapy for anger management, you are probably experiencing anger as interfering with your relationships, your work, or your general wellbeing. Sometimes a propensity towards anger signals that other things may be going on--stress, shame, or other feelings that may be hard to tolerate. In an atmosphere of acceptance and non judgment, we will work with mindfulness to build tolerance for a wider range of feelings, to find ease and to uncover the gems hidden beneath reactive anger.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

I provide individual psychotherapy for anger management. Anger is normal emotion that everyone experiences. It becomes a problem when one expresses anger inappropriately or one lacks the proficiency to express any emotions but anger. I use Humanistic and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) to help my clients understand their anger, improve their emotional experience, and express their emotions in healthy ways. A healthy emotional life is the cornerstone of living a full and successful life.

Your anger is an attempt at reclaiming power and control. The problem is that when others feel victimized in some way by your angry outbursts, they naturally become defensive and perhaps angry as well. I can help you find more effective ways of expressing yourself and getting your needs met. Underneath the angry feelings are the vulnerable feelings of fear or hurt. Once these are acknowledged and cared for, either by yourself or another, there is movement towards ease and contentment. I can help you slow down the powerful reactions, and get to the core so that you find your real needs and your abilities to connect healthfully with others.

Helping clients overcome anger requires a combination of understanding the root causes of their anger, teaching them coping strategies, and promoting healthier ways of expressing and managing their emotions. I teach clients mindfulness and relaxation techniques to manage intense emotions. Deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anger responses. We work to recognize the physical sensations that accompany anger and how to intervene before anger escalates. Clients work with me on problem-solving strategies to address the situations or triggers that lead to anger. I help them break down problems into manageable steps and brainstorm potential solutions.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

I treat individuals with histories of trauma. Many adults walk away from abusive childhoods and find themselves acting in angry ways as adults. Anger is only a way that people cope with hardship, and we will work together to learn better ways to cope. Anger is only a symptom-- it does not define you. Anger can mask fear, anxiety, and insecurity. We will work together to find the true underlying issues causing anger. With hard work, you may see the anger melt away over time. I feel our society sees anger as a dirty or shameful part of our mental health, but this must change. You will not be treated poorly in my practice if you are making the effort to learn to cope better!

If you struggle with anger, therapy can help. Many people find that anger is the easiest emotion for them to access. Maybe under the anger you are hurt, lonely, afraid, jealous, sad or ashamed. Wouldn't it be great to have a whole range of emotions again? I use mindfulness to help you learn to sooth your nervous system and psychodynamic therapy to identify what's behind your anger. If you have experienced difficult or traumatic events that are weighing you down, EMDR therapy can free you up to live and act in the present.

Is your anger ruining your relationships or limiting your success at work? Are you feeling trapped in negative cycles of communication? Are people avoiding you or telling you it’s time to change? Do you want to feel more in control, able to master your triggers? Do you want to feel better, repair broken relationships, and regain closeness? I've helped hundreds of people just like you to feel stronger and repair broken relationships. I teach you concrete mindfulness skills that can being to change your patterns right away and lower your distress and feelings of helplessness. I help you get out of old stuck roles of victim, rescuer or bully that keep you trapped repeating old negative cycl....

ANGER....something that we all have negative (if not traumatic) experience with. We are taught from a young age that it is no o.k. to feel or express anger. Unfortunately, simply because we ignore or suppress does not mean that it disappears. If left unacknowledged, it remains in our minds, hearts, and bodies. Further, the inappropriate expression of (or LACK of healthy expression) can cause severe damage to our most cherished relationships. Therapy is the ideal place for articulating, as well as learning how to effectively express, our anger. Remember, anger is only an internal alarm system telling us that something needs attention. It's what we do with it that matters.

Anger is a valid feeling, but it's the behavior, what we do with anger, that is problematic. Anger can tell us that something isn't right in the current moment. It may also be the result of valid anger you developed as a child and/or it may just be a result of something you believe. There are many ways that anger can be resolved - by changing thoughts & beliefs, learning to express feelings & needs and learning to calm & soothe ourselves by doing what is called, "regulating the nervous system" in order to stay present, grounded & calm when relating to others.

Anger is a natural feeling that everyone experiences. It is what we do with out anger, how we handle it, that can cause us trouble. I help my clients understand their thoughts and their reactions by beginning with an understanding of what happens in their bodies when they get angry and or frustrated (they go hand in hand). We look at ways to recognize when anger is building and importantly to recognize the triggers, what is going on just before the feelings build. Together we explore the thoughts and feelings, help change some of those thoughts and learn important ways to manage them.