Anger Management and Counseling in Winters, CA.

For most of us, on occasion, anger can be far out of proportion to the event that triggers it, and for some of us, it is a recurring problem that interferes with our work and our most important relationships. I help people with practical strategies to avoid immediate damage from uncontrolled anger, and I help them to understand their anger more fully and make more effective choices for themselves and others.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

i have extensive experience in this area, having worked with Severely Disturbed Children for five years in a special school setting, and then moving over to work with an adult population who have committed crimes and have been incarcerated in the County Jail. I know the techniques needed to facilitate a person to deal more effectively with angry feelings so that his or her relationships can be repaired and blossom and they can enjoy life to the fullest.

One of the most misunderstood aspects of chronic anger is that it is actually a secondary emotion. Underneath chronic anger is pain from a core wound such as physical or emotional trauma or the victim- persecutor pattern. I will guide you to identify your core wounds and work on healing your inner child while also providing you with tools and outlets to help you control anger reactions with others. You will learn mindfulness practices such as cultivating a relationship with your Higher self, somatic practices breath work practices , as well as communication tools. I also incorporate radical forgiveness work, which is a game changer when it comes to healing anger issues.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

Clients seeking better anger management benefit from working with me in many ways. They often benefit from learning how to recognize their early warning physical signs in their bodies that let them know they are beginning to feel anger. Once they become familiar with their own unique signs of beginning and increasing anger, they learn how to take appropriate action to calm themselves. This often means briefly removing themselves from the stressful situation that is triggering their anger. Then they learn how to calm themselves in whatever appropriate ways work for them.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.