Anger Management and Counseling in Santa Barbara, CA.

Do you find yourself flying into a rage over little things? Are you wondering why you have such intense reactions? Do you feel out of control once the switch has been flipped? Many clients I have worked with have struggled with this in themselves or in their children. It can feel mysterious and overwhelming. I am here to assure you that there is a reason. These behaviors make sense, and we can work together to find their cause and to get some relief.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

Anger is a natural response to perceived threats. Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret, hurts those around you or is taking a toll on your personal relationships. Working collaboratively with me you can: Learn what anger is Identify what triggers your anger Recognize signs that you're becoming angry Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way Explore underlying feelings

I believe that we need to express our anger, to get it out of our bodies or it might adversely effect our physical health. I use a number of different tools, such as a baseball bat and pillows or bean bags to throw, to help clients to find constructive expressions of their angry feelings. There is always safety guidelines. Clients are initially often shy about using the bat or the bean bags but most always report great release and relieve when done. I also encourage journal writing about the unexpressed words and when appropriate letter writing to express the so far unsaid, even if it is from years ago.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

If you are grappling with anger that negatively impacts your live, you will find solace and transformation through anger management therapy. My specialized approach emphasizes improved somatic awareness, allowing recognition and understanding of the physical sensations tied to anger. By fostering a better understanding of emotional patterns, you will be guided to uncover the triggers and underlying causes of the anger. Personalized therapy equips you with the confidence and skills to exert emotional control over a wide range of emotions, leading to more harmonious relationships and a more balanced life. This journey is not just about managing anger, but about unlocking a more peaceful self.