Anger Management and Counseling in San Carlos, CA.

Anger is a natural feeling that everyone experiences. It is what we do with out anger, how we handle it, that can cause us trouble. I help my clients understand their thoughts and their reactions by beginning with an understanding of what happens in their bodies when they get angry and or frustrated (they go hand in hand). We look at ways to recognize when anger is building and importantly to recognize the triggers, what is going on just before the feelings build. Together we explore the thoughts and feelings, help change some of those thoughts and learn important ways to manage them.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

My approach to anger management is helping my client see what the underlying feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are that are driving them to act out there feelings through anger, and learn how to drop beneath the anger to the fear and/or pain that always underlies anger. Through doing this we can learn to express our vulnerability and share our feelings in a safe and healthy manner.

Anger is a valid feeling, but it's the behavior, what we do with anger, that is problematic. Anger can tell us that something isn't right in the current moment. It may also be the result of valid anger you developed as a child and/or it may just be a result of something you believe. There are many ways that anger can be resolved - by changing thoughts & beliefs, learning to express feelings & needs and learning to calm & soothe ourselves by doing what is called, "regulating the nervous system" in order to stay present, grounded & calm when relating to others.

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

ANGER....something that we all have negative (if not traumatic) experience with. We are taught from a young age that it is no o.k. to feel or express anger. Unfortunately, simply because we ignore or suppress does not mean that it disappears. If left unacknowledged, it remains in our minds, hearts, and bodies. Further, the inappropriate expression of (or LACK of healthy expression) can cause severe damage to our most cherished relationships. Therapy is the ideal place for articulating, as well as learning how to effectively express, our anger. Remember, anger is only an internal alarm system telling us that something needs attention. It's what we do with it that matters.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

In anger management sessions with me, you will learn to identify triggers and early warning signs of your anger in order to feel more in control of the experience of this emotion. By better understanding your unique anger process, you will get through this feeling more quickly in the future as well as with more peace and less damage to relationships. I will teach you valuable relaxation, conflict resolution, and relapse prevention skills so that you can stay calmer in triggering situations even after completing therapy. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

Anger is a damn tricky emotion. It can feel like it takes the driver's seat when it comes. It can feel terrible and bitter, or powerful and justified. However it feels, you probably already know that it can be hurtful to those around you and ultimately to yourself. Managing the immediate feeling of anger so you don't do and say things you regret is part of the answer, but not all of it. We need to figure out what makes you angry. There are often understandable reasons to be angry, but it helps to know why you are, because you don't want to end up expressing it toward the wrong people or to a level of severity that doesn't make sense.

Anger can feel like an all consuming reaction to something other may have done to you intentionally or unintentionally. However, we always wind up on dealing with the aftermath of our anger when we didn't even feel like we were in control of the situation. If this is happening, we will working on developing anger management strategies. We will identify those common words or behaviors that set us off and try to better understand our anger in the beginning stages. This will allow us to start establishing and using coping strategies that will put us in control. Ideally, these techniques and strategies will help improve our relationships with those that we want to spend time with.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Helping clients overcome anger requires a combination of understanding the root causes of their anger, teaching them coping strategies, and promoting healthier ways of expressing and managing their emotions. I teach clients mindfulness and relaxation techniques to manage intense emotions. Deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anger responses. We work to recognize the physical sensations that accompany anger and how to intervene before anger escalates. Clients work with me on problem-solving strategies to address the situations or triggers that lead to anger. I help them break down problems into manageable steps and brainstorm potential solutions.

I focus on providing a constructive and empathetic approach to help clients understand and regulate their emotions. By creating a safe space for clients to explore the roots of their anger, I assist them in identifying triggers and underlying issues that contribute to their emotional responses. Using evidence-based strategies, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques, clients learn practical skills to manage their anger effectively and develop healthier coping mechanisms. This approach not only aids in reducing immediate anger outbursts but also fosters long-term emotional resilience and improved interpersonal relationships.

Anger is wired into all of us and is essential for survival. It is an intelligent emotion. It can also be incredibly destructive. Most of the time, it is a secondary emotion which means that an unmet need or another emotion is the driving force behind our anger. I will help you to safely identify what is behind your anger and give you tools to effectively regulate it. (I will also help you heal and enhance any relationships previously damaged by your anger.)

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Is your anger ruining your relationships or limiting your success at work? Are you feeling trapped in negative cycles of communication? Are people avoiding you or telling you it’s time to change? Do you want to feel more in control, able to master your triggers? Do you want to feel better, repair broken relationships, and regain closeness? I've helped hundreds of people just like you to feel stronger and repair broken relationships. I teach you concrete mindfulness skills that can being to change your patterns right away and lower your distress and feelings of helplessness. I help you get out of old stuck roles of victim, rescuer or bully that keep you trapped repeating old negative cycl....

I believe that there is a difference between anger and rage. Anger is a controllable expression of our emotions. Anger can tell us when we have had our boundaries violated or if we feel something complex and difficult to understand or if we are reminded about something in our past that is triggering us. Anger does not have to result in hurting others. Rage is often out of control and can be very hurtful. Please note: I am not an anger management specialist and if you are seeking court ordered therapy please look for a therapist who specializes in anger management, however I can offer support around how to navigate general anger explorations.

I provide individual psychotherapy for anger management. Anger is normal emotion that everyone experiences. It becomes a problem when one expresses anger inappropriately or one lacks the proficiency to express any emotions but anger. I use Humanistic and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) to help my clients understand their anger, improve their emotional experience, and express their emotions in healthy ways. A healthy emotional life is the cornerstone of living a full and successful life.

I treat individuals with histories of trauma. Many adults walk away from abusive childhoods and find themselves acting in angry ways as adults. Anger is only a way that people cope with hardship, and we will work together to learn better ways to cope. Anger is only a symptom-- it does not define you. Anger can mask fear, anxiety, and insecurity. We will work together to find the true underlying issues causing anger. With hard work, you may see the anger melt away over time. I feel our society sees anger as a dirty or shameful part of our mental health, but this must change. You will not be treated poorly in my practice if you are making the effort to learn to cope better!

Anger has both harmful and healthy/constructive potential depending on how it is dealt with. If you are coming to therapy for anger management, you are probably experiencing anger as interfering with your relationships, your work, or your general wellbeing. Sometimes a propensity towards anger signals that other things may be going on--stress, shame, or other feelings that may be hard to tolerate. In an atmosphere of acceptance and non judgment, we will work with mindfulness to build tolerance for a wider range of feelings, to find ease and to uncover the gems hidden beneath reactive anger.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwaive optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

If you struggle with anger, therapy can help. Many people find that anger is the easiest emotion for them to access. Maybe under the anger you are hurt, lonely, afraid, jealous, sad or ashamed. Wouldn't it be great to have a whole range of emotions again? I use mindfulness to help you learn to sooth your nervous system and psychodynamic therapy to identify what's behind your anger. If you have experienced difficult or traumatic events that are weighing you down, EMDR therapy can free you up to live and act in the present.

I help men and teens who are struggling with anger management, transform their lives. You will benefit from psychotherapy by 1) learning to control your emotions in the moment, and 2) reducing your vulnerability to becoming overwhelmed and destructively angry in the first place. Relying on more than 10 years experience working with men, I will teach you how to monitor your state of physiological arousal so that you can intervene before you lose control. I will also help you explore the origins of your anger, in other words, where you "learned" to be angry in the first place. Gradually, you will gain a sense of emotional freedom and power as you increase your control and self-awareness.